Setting aside your legal obligation to refer students to Child Protective Services if you suspect abuse or neglect, there are other instances where referral to your administrator, counselor, and psychologist are warranted.
They’re warranted not just for the health and safety of the student in question, and student body at large, but also for your own protection, legal and otherwise.
Make no mistake, there is a substantial segment of students—growing by the day—that need professional help but are overlooked.
Disruptive students, who need nothing more than good, solid classroom management, get referred all the time. They waste time and resources that should be spent on the few who are quietly roiling inside.
What follows isn’t an exhaustive list by any means.
However, and while careful not to make any diagnoses, it covers four broad categories of behaviors that absolutely should be considered for referral:
1. Disconnected
This can be a student who stands out by their walk—slow, stiff, rhythmic, zombie-like. They appear as if they’re in a dream, seemingly unaware of those around them.
When you speak to them they respond slowly, impassively. Their voice is monotone. Their eyes devoid of life. They can appear confused, disconnected, or unaware of their surroundings.
2. Withdrawn
They have a tendency to hide behind their hair, hoodie, or collar. They wear clothes inappropriate to the weather. They seem to shrink or disappear, taking up as little space as possible.
They only speak when spoken to—or not at all. Their eyes cast downward. Their posture is curled in on itself. They don’t appear to have any friends. They spend almost all of their time alone and are often exhausted.
3. Threatening
Of course, any threat should be referred to administration. However, it’s the less demonstrative and overt threats that can be most concerning.
Violent stories, drawings, sketches, and diagrams. Unusual obsession with weapons or brutality. Glimpses of rage. Mentions of cruelty or harm toward animals. These seem obvious, but are so often ignored.
4. Bizarre
Behavior that is disturbingly odd could be a red flag. Perhaps a situation doesn’t match their expression. Their speech may seem off—in timing and tone—or they may make strange noises or speak to themselves or toward an empty chair.
Their behavior may be pared with some of the descriptions above. Or maybe it’s just a feeling you have, a foreboding or dread when you’re near them. But something is definitely and clearly amiss.
Standing Out
There could be innocent explanations for the behaviors above. Maybe the student is already seeing a therapist or receiving treatment. But as teachers it’s not up for us to decide or speculate.
It’s up to us to notice.
It’s up to us to keep an eye out for those who don’t belong—in the way they walk, respond, and interact with others—and who hide in the shadows. Too often, teachers attempt to act as psychiatrist or counselor.
They assume that they’re enough, that their words and smiles are the extent of their responsibility.
But a student experiencing a real mental health crisis needs serious intervention, of the kind you and maybe not even your school can provide.
So, this week, I encourage you to take a second look at that student, the one who doesn’t talk or who draws upsetting images. Observe. Ask questions. Raise the alarm. Send an email first for documentation and then voice your concern personally to all stakeholders.
It may save a life.
PS – If you’re struggling to motivate your students, please check out the book Inspire.
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This sounds like a description of most of the boys who are on the spectrum at my school. They have bizarre, socially unacceptable behavior, but nothing is done about it because they have IEPs or 504s for mild learning disorders or ADHD when the real issue is their untreated spectrum disorder. These students have become more prevalent each of the 33 years since I started teaching. Nothing is done to teach them how to interact with others in a socially acceptable manner, so they have no friends. The parents don’t think anything is wrong because usually one of the parents is just like the kid.
Totally agree. I may not have recognized spectrum disorders when I first started teaching, which may be why I don’t remember as many. But I feel like every class I teach now has one or two. Some may be diagnosed and some not. But often the 504 for something else is in the mix. I wish there were studies out there that really delve into this phenomenon. I know from reading about autism that the incidence of autism has risen astronomically– but the side effect of not having the accomodations in the classroom to deal with what has become more and more common– I don’t hear about so much.
How do I apply this plan to these students, the ones with autism or severe ADHD, the ones that physically cannot control it and have me messaging home by 9am?? HELP
Our speech and occupational therapists help our kids learn how to interact.
I half agree with you but the sentiment in your wording is genuinely off-putting to shocking. We as a society have a great deal of problems with mental health, neurodiversity, and systemic ableism. Many of those boys know how to mask long enough to convince the psychologist and councillors not to send them to the exclusion classes because they don’t want to be seen as “bad”. The girls are even better and less likely to be diagnosed (but often struggle psychologically anyway). The parents are in deep denial from a lifetime of masking and internalized ableism. The teachers and administrators often implicitly encorage this to cut costs. You can exspress frustration while failing to appreciate the larger political and socialogical issues beyond an individual or family and using stigmatizing language. But we need more funding for special education, accommodations, juvenile psychology, and education to normalize mental health and neurodiversity for students and teachers. It isn’t for the sake of you or the typical students, but for the autistic children who grow into autistic adults with a ptsd rate of 32-45%, and heightened rates of suicide and ideation. How will you try to push those rates down as an individual educator, or propose policy changes?
Wow, I have not viewed some of my students from this angle, however there may be some truth to why these students go under the radar. Parents know deep down inside that their children are a reflection of them, but it seems the denial cycle prevails.
Would be nice to get to any of these! Realistically I need to deal with the constant assaulting of me and peers! When I use the copy machine, it’s for office referrals, not for worksheets anymore (I teach preK-K music in 90% AA population)
Sounds like you could / should probably brush up on your classroom management skills… “constant assaulting of me and peers!” by preK and K. essentially 4 and 5 year olds? Really? Sounds like the perpetuation of a familiar narrative of a particular student population in its earliest stage! If the AA population is not for you …. RUN RUN RUN as fast as you can! This population of students requires especially calm, caring, passionate, highly skilled and culturally sensitive educators.
WOW. This wasn’t directed at me, but I am offended for Milan AND the entire African American student body. Are you insinuating that children with black skin are constantly assaulting each other and that because of the color of their skin they need to be treated differently because they are unable to regulate themselves? AA population? You have no idea what Milan’s student body demographics are or her situation. Instead of insulting her with flagrant assumptions, as fellow educators – let’s support each other – coming from a place of respect where we give each other the benefit of the doubt. Everyone is doing their very best to be that calm, caring, passionate, highly skilled, and culturally sensitive teacher that every student needs – no matter what color of skin God has blessed them with.
Hello Mary,
It is not my intention to insult anyone especially my peers, fellow teachers. I’m not sure if your read Milan’s original msg. If you had you would know that it was her (Milan) who wrote that her AA pre-K and K students are constantly assaulting her and their peers. My response to Milan was not based on assumptions but specifically on her written words. I most certainly do have a crystal clear idea of Milan’s student body demographics because she also wrote that in her post!!! Here is her entire post word for word again especially for you, just in case…
“Would be nice to get to any of these! Realistically I need to deal with the constant assaulting of me and peers! When I use the copy machine, it’s for office referrals, not for worksheets anymore (I teach preK-K music in 90% AA population)”
These are Milan’s words…. Not MINE! You seem confused about who said what?… And unfortunately NO. Not every teacher is calm, culturally sensitive, highly skilled and passionate, knows how and is committed to providing a clean, safe, loving, classroom environment where learning is protected and children are free to learn and grow….which is OBVIOUS by Milan’s statement that she uses her classroom copier more to write referrals (for 4 and 5 year olds) than to copy music.
Please get your facts straight.
Hello Mary,
I made no assumptions…. Here is a complete copy of Milan’s original post.
Would be nice to get to any of these! Realistically I need to deal with the constant assaulting of me and peers! When I use the copy machine, it’s for office referrals, not for worksheets anymore (I teach preK-K music in 90% AA population)
Perhaps you should be offended for Milan and the entire AA student body…. for HER words, not mine.
You’re offended for Milan? Milan is the one who thought it was relevant to include the fact that their student population is “90% AA”, as if the racial identity of their students was an explanation for what they perceive as”constant assault” in their classroom. Milan is the one introducing negative stereotypes about Black children into the conversation, all while apparently fully participating in the school-to-prison pipeline that disproportionately harms that exact population of students. As I read it, Mater is telling Milan to run from their position working with that population for the well-being of the children, not for the well-being of the teacher. That would certainly be my advice.
As someone who works with preschoolers with IEPs, many of whom have been referred to our program after being removed from other preschool and daycare programs for behavioral reasons, I can’t imagine writing an “office referral” for a single preschool-aged student – let alone enough that filling out said referral paperwork took up so much time that I was unable to prepare the necessary materials for my teaching (which certainly can’t help with classroom management when working with young children who need clear and concise instruction to thrive).
It sounds like Milan may be a specials teacher who may not spend a significant amount of time with their students in the course of a week. I wonder why they are filling out office referrals in response to student behavior rather than speaking with their students’ classroom teachers (and larger teams of any of these student have IEPs) to evaluate why behaviors may be occurring in music class and finding out if there are any behavioral supports/programming in place (or could easily be put into place) that could help these students be more successful in music class.
Overall, it’s the tone of blame towards very young children that concerns me as someone who works with preschoolers.
You’re having trouble with Pre-K and K students? Unless you are in a behavior school, the problem lies with you. How engaged are you in teaching these 90% AA population students? What are you doing to engage them? Since you are teaching music are you teaching music that appeals to them or yourself? As a special education teacher I go into many different classrooms and have found those teachers with the most problems not on have little to no classroom management, but are really only interested in collecting a paycheck, not really caring if the kids learn anything. If you change your attitude, beliefs, preconceived notions and practices you might have a better result.
Thank you for your insight Claudia!!! I teach the arts; music, dance, theater and visual arts to UTK – 5th grades. I visit a different school site/location every day and serve close to a 1000 different students per week. The overwhelming vast majority of the students I serve love and enjoy the arts and are SUPER excited when they see our visual and performing arts team on campus. Sometimes behaviors can be a challenge for some teachers (no matter the demographics) because we only visit the kiddos once a month. But I have found over the years that most behavior challenges usually always have to do with a lack of classroom managements skills and/or an attitude of indifference on the part of the teacher.
Yes! You must mold the curriculum around the audience, make it relatable and fun. Make them laugh make them cry, show them history, and let them make connections from the past to the present. Get them dancing, and singing, making noise with instruments, make simple craft instruments, create an experience they may never forget.
I am art teacher who sees lots of kids. Whenever I report a change in behavior or notice something like you describe to the homeroom teacher, it’s very validating for them to know that someone else notices and that can contribute to getting the help or attention the student needs. So if you see it, say it!
I’m also an art teacher, and I agree. As an art teacher for K-5, by the time a student is in 5th grade, I’ve known them for six years! Classroom teachers only really know them for one. I may notice strange changes in behavior more easily. If I do, I always talk to the classroom teacher first and/0r the guidance counselor to check in on any changes they might already or not yet know about. Always speak up!!
I have a student like this. She is receiving therapy and we are working on getting her a 504. Lately she has been coming in and putting her head down and going to sleep. I let her parents know what is going on. If she gets upset over something she shuts down. I’m not sure how to handle the situation. I have a discipline plan, that I can’t follow with her, but I don’t want the other kids to think her behavior in acceptable and they can start acting that way also. Any suggestions?
I taught a student who ended their life last year. They exhibited NONE of the signs above, I am posting this in case anyone feels guilty or responsible for missing a sign, they are not always there. I needed reassurance from my school that I had not missed anything, and they were there for me. Not one of their teachers could think of anything unusual.
After many years of working with high school students as an athletic trainer, and now substitute teaching most days at mostly one school, I find in far too many cases you cannot have conversation or interaction with many kids because of the earbuds in their ears. They don’t hear you speak to them. In some ways cell phones and their accessories do as much harm as most anything else.
my school banned cell phones and earbuds this year. They have to turn them in at the door. If they are seen out, they get confiscated until the end of the day. It has been a sea-change. Aside from not having the constant distraction, I feel like the kids are calmer, more friendly and more fun to work with. My own feeling is they are no longer jonesing.
Thank you for addressing what seems a much more prevalent series of issues in our student populations. Thank you even more for addressing our job ends at ‘notice’. The classroom teacher is a dialed in resource for sure- but not the answer. The ‘hero’ mentality of my job along with the insurmountable amount of expectation to do things on my own time just are two things most astounding to me. Your articles always seem to remind me of truth; to dial me right back in to what my job really is- and the one I adore so much when it is that. Thanks, Sir.
Great article! I hope you don’t mind if I point out a few typos. I think you mean exhaustive list – not exhausted. And paired instead of pared.
This information shared is very enlightening. I truly appreciate. As educators we really have a task at hand. We will continue to work relentlessly for the greater good of our learners by seeking help for them in areas where they are most needed.
While I agree with the article in which points out several signs of students who are abused and/or neglected, I felt the need to remind everyone that some students who draw/paint/write dark material, particularly 7th grade thru college, do not necessarily wish for dark things to happen. When I for example ( as with many others) was in school, I would dive into my art, music and even wrote dark poetry. I would draw (obsessively) unicorns that were “demonic” looking and sometimes I would add dragon wings to them. I also wrote about death. I Never wished any harm to myself nor others. My point is, while it is good to question these students about their dark art, please don’t harass them daily about it.
I agree, and some times there are more than we can accomadate /idnetify. Being with the student only a short time sometimes is more than enough time to tell that something should be done to help correct and other times it is not enough to tell what is going on. But, too much time should not be given when you can tell something standard is not correct behavior.
If someone just seems unique but harmless leave them tf alone. Stop drugging up kids with damaging meds just because you don’t personally like their personality. Stop handing off kids to abusive psychiatry and therapists who often side with the abusers, if there are any in a students life. Stop taking away peoples rights and autonomy when theyre expressing themselves in a different but harmless manner. #MadPride #MadInAmerica