If the comments and emails from last week are any indication, there are a lot of bully principals out there.
I’ve certainly met a few.
They come in every size and shape, stripe and strata of education. And although their methods of torment may differ, the way to deal with them is the same:
Don’t give them an opportunity.
Here’s how:
Be great at classroom management.
Nothing gets under a principal’s skin more than having to deal with behavior issues. They have enough to worry about. Besides, unless there is a dangerous incident that must be documented, it’s always best to handle yourself.
Otherwise, you send the message that you can’t handle your classroom.
Once you show that you’ve got this critical part of teaching locked down, however, and the principal can trust you no matter who is on your roster, it removes the most common reason they grow frustrated.
Never kiss their rear end.
From the beginning of the relationship, be a confident pro. Never whine and complain. Never try to ingratiate yourself with them. Never try to show off for them or impress them with your willingness to take on extra work.
Never try to be friends with them or become one of their inner circle. Have more pride than that.
Be a pillar of competency and hang on tight to your self-worth. It’s the grovelers and sycophants who take the brunt of a wrathful boss.
Keep your mouth shut.
Nowadays, more than ever before, teachers have less control and fewer decisions to make that affect the school community. The control they do have, like where students should line up before school or what the testing schedule should look like, doesn’t matter.
So don’t get involved.
It only opens you to argument, judgment, and criticism. Let the others wrestle for pats to their ego or a “great idea” from the boss. It’s meaningless and frankly pathetic. Show strength and dignity by what you don’t say.
Focus on your classroom.
Keep laser-focused on doing well for your students to the exclusion of everything else. You teach for them and secondarily their parents. Not for the principal and not for the school district.
It’s for those kids and for your love of the job.
Be so wrapped up in enjoying your work that you don’t notice the slights or perceived slights. You don’t notice the principal’s tone or care one whit about the mood they’re in. It doesn’t even register on your radar.
Be first.
Instead of complaining about all the extra stuff the principal wants from you, work on being the first to get it turned in and make sure it’s neat, well-done, and professionally organized.
The truth is, only a small number of teachers fully take care of their responsibilities.
The rest either turn it in late, partially done, or not at all. Again, when your principal can count on you, when you don’t add stress to their already stressful life, they become deeply grateful you’re a member of the staff.
Be an adult.
Your principal is just a person like you who happens to be under enormous pressure. And they don’t always handle it well. If they get frustrated and lash out, it’s usually at three types of people.
a. Those puckering up around them.
b. Those that complain and make their life more difficult.
c. Those that simper, cower, and stress-out around them.
Don’t let this be you. If the principal approaches you about something, listen and respond clearly and directly. Then be on your way without fuss. They appreciate maturity, competence, and professionalism above all.
Ignore their tone and body language.
A principal’s tone and body language doesn’t matter. They may be upset at something that has nothing to do with you. They may be too preoccupied to tell you how wonderful you are or to check in and see how your family is doing.
Furthermore, if you’re doing your job, then you never have to concern yourself with their mood—or anything else for that matter.
Therefore, you have nothing to fear. When you act nervously and walk on eggshells and worry over this and that you make the principal suspicious that perhaps you don’t have your act together.
Don’t gossip.
If you’re a complainer and gossiper, then the boss is going to know. They have minions listening and reporting back to them—even if they don’t ask for it. They have others who try to elevate themselves by putting you down.
Getting involved with your own two-cents about how things should be done or, heaven forbid, becoming a minion yourself, just isn’t worth it.
Vent to your significant other. Vent to the one or two friends on campus that you trust. Otherwise, stay in your classroom. Do your job and then get home to your family, friends, and hobbies. When you lose your compass, only bad things happen.
Under Pressure
I haven’t talked to my own principal about anything school-related in several years. It’s not a brag, it’s how it should be. Take care of your business and they’ll respect you and leave you alone.
Many years ago, when I was an elementary teacher, I was moving a rolling cabinet out of storage when I ran into the principal. She asked how the move was going. I told her everything was good but the cabinet was made poorly and falling apart.
She had recently bought new cabinets for the entire staff. In response to my statement, she snapped at me. She raised her voice and said, “Why didn’t you tell me!”
I apologized matter-of-factly and then showed her the problem.
But I didn’t feel bullied. I didn’t feel disrespected. She got angry, big deal. I did my job well so nothing she could have said would have mattered.
Now, I want to make clear that I don’t deny that some principals can be true bullies and make certain teachers miserable. But it’s not always what it seems.
And even if it is, most of the time it’s avoidable. If currently find yourself in the crosshairs, then follow the guidelines above. Slowly but surely, in a few weeks, they’ll forget about you.
And in a few months, they’ll appreciate you more than you can imagine.
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Excellent advice! Most principals have fires all around them. Let them focus on that.
I especially agree with the the do it, do it well, do it now. Takes the winds right out of their sails – it always amazes me when people don’t.
You’re presuming the issue being experienced has something to do with the person being bullied. Wiuld we tell a student being bullied by another that s/he is a target bc of something they are doing wrong? Principals come with all sorts of attitudes and ct upon them. They can select you as their target for a number of reasons. It could well be they are jealous of your expertise or they use you to divide and conquer.
A brilliant and insightful article.
What I love most about your articles is your consistency. I’ve read pretty much all of your books (I skipped over PE, Art, music teacher books) and consider myself a true Linsin disciple. Therefore I knew what your advice would be before I read it. I’m am not the best at following your advice, but your ideology is ingrained in my mind. I’m getting better each year.
THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED!!!! Thank you soooo much for this! Your tips for management are priceless!!
This is the best advice I have heard and very true. You forgot one important thing…..go somewhere else where you will be appreciated and happy because you don’t have to work like this in education no matter how horrible the system is becoming!
Yes!
I opened my own business and left the craziness. I am my own boss and don’t have to deal with neurotics anymore.
I highly recommend it.
Haven’t regretted it yet.
Congrats. I inky have five more years left. Gonna change schools.
Excellent advice!! My principal is not a bully but I am sure she would appreciate all of her staff behaving as you have outlined so well.
True wisdom! Over the years I’ve chosen to focus on my students and my classroom… the two main components of my job and within a school. I stay under the radar this way and remain relatively unstressed by all of the other things from administration. Your advice is a golden reminder to this veteran teacher.
This advice is excellent. The only exception is my work as a union representative. I make sure that this work is completely separate from my teaching.
Debra,
This is a tightrope, isn’t it? As a union member and site rep, it’s not easy at all to stay in my room while the teachers are being treated unfairly. I’m torn between helping my students by focusing entirely on them, or helping them and all students in a more systematic way.
Thanks for bringing this up.
Michelle
Michelle,
I also find it a tough balance as a union rep and collective bargaining member. Some of us have to take the heat so all of us can be treated fairly and receive the best benefits possible.
This is an amazing article! It really touched the essence of my being. Presently, I face such a situation (invisibly).
Could you a write-up on “Grouchy Principals” who are pretenciously hiding on the garb of the “Being Boss-Man”.
A puzzling question, please?
“Should a principal NOT FRATERNIZE with his teachers?”
This article is so thorough and insightful. I am grateful that I got the opportunity to read it.
This advice is excellent and has worked for me in the past. However if you get to the point where you are chronically understaffed, you rarely get any break any day of the week and you are being attacked frequently or hurt (due to the nature of your students needs and behaviour going unaddressed) without any form of consequences, plus more, the aspects of keeping your mouth shut and classroom management become difficult. That and following the only procedure you have been given which is to involve them, for critical incidents to be ignored means I will suffer (or all others in my classroom)
Please also consider the industrial bullying that occurs purely due precarious employment. Rather than assist a contracted teacher- they are frequently given the “leftovers” or “hard class” and can fall prey to being victimised despite doing all suggested- as it is easier to move them on or claim they were inadequate than address the aspects of how they have been set up to fail and take the brunt of burden away from longer term, valued staff.
This is so true, and is exactly what happened to me many years ago. I truly tried the very best I could in a challenging district, but it was never good enough, and even worse, my principal never, not a single time, gave me any helpful or constructive criticism. I’m thankful to have found a new school where my principal feels invested in my growth and development.
You bring up such an important point.
While I readily (and gratefully!) agree with the above advice from Michael, teachers are often chided (or worse) for 𝘯𝘰𝘵 “following protocol” when it comes to classroom behavior issues, even when protocol states that they be notified immediately of misbehavior, and that students be sent to them.
While, ultimately, administrators do tend to prefer discipline be handled “in-house” by teachers, they often seem unwilling to come out and 𝘴𝘢𝘺 that. “Leaving it to the teacher” sounds too abstract and informal – and certainly too wishy-washy to establish as protocol.
Plus, establishing it as a protocol would bring to light a principal passing one of their responsibilities onto teachers. I mean, that 𝘪𝘴 what they’re doing, but they’d probably prefer that not be spelled out in the Student and Parent/Guardian Handbook.
☝︎︎” … even when protocol states that they* be notified immediately of misbehavior, and that students be sent to them.*
* 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘭𝘴
This is another one of your excellent articles Michael that I need to print, highlight and reread throughout the school year as a well advised reminder of what’s really important and worth focusing on.
Love this!!!
A brilliant piece. Great assurance.
So true about the minions trying to elevate themselves, however it was at my expense!
Thank you so much for your excellent advice! However, when feelings of inadequacy, shame, and guilt are running deeply within your nature, it’s not so easy to follow. To make the matters worse, principals sense this lack of self-worth and emotional instability, and that makes one’s life even harder.
Will try to see this as a challenge and growth opportunity that the teacher’s career offers.
Your reply resonated with me – I also struggle with feelings of shame & inadequacy, compounded by a difficult situation that I AM making better day by day because I AM enough & I AM good at what I do… even when I struggle! There is so much to do that I cannot run things the way I want to & the way I know they should be run & the way our students deserve…yet. I just want my boss to know this – it’s not all me & I know what is wrong & I am working on it. But – who is it that I am really trying to convince? Full disclosure – I am not a classroom teacher – I am an academic library dean. However, the advice in this article applies to my relationship with my Provost – & frankly, I almost want to share it with those who report to me…but I’m not a grouchy dean…which, if I were to criticize this on point article at all, I would say the admins described are grouchy rather than bullies – this is certainly true of my Provost. She is quite a lovely person, but she is under a lot of pressure, & hooo can she go from zero to crab FAST. Sigh. We’re all doing our best. I will take up the challenge & growth opportunity with you – the people are worth it. WE are worth it. We are in this together. Thank you for all you do!
This is indeed an excellent piece. I have personally suffered in the hands of some principals who do not like when you point out their inadequacy and in recent times I have learnt to mind my territory (the classroom).
Honestly I have enjoyed my peace. This piece has no doubt open my eyes to more strategies of coping with a school administrators.
Thank you Michael.
I agree with some of your advice but I am confused. If the principal is truly being a bully why aren’t you encouraging people to be upstanders? It is what we teach students to be. If digging in and focusing on myself while I silently watch other colleagues be attacked, demeaned, or traumatized by a principal or other colleague is what you recommend then I disagree. Bully only get more emboldened when no one counters them. I think it can be done respectfully and professionally but there are times when it is not ok to stay silent. Systems need to have appropriate means for feedback for principals from staff especially since many areas have many NEW principals who are young and lack experience. They need mentoring and support just as teachers do but don’t get it because those they lead often have no outlet for providing constructive feedback and within a school they have no peers.
I agree wholeheartedly, Denise.
This article shows why you’re my go-to guy.
Good advice.
Basically you are saying just do your job. Do it to the best of your ability focus on your students, focus on their education and development. Everything else is just noise.
This article was clearly not written by a teacher who’s been bullied. When you are the target of a principal they will torment you no matter how well you do your job
Agreed. They also use staff to mob you and Even students of friends and colleagues to make false accusations or situations based on lies.
Absolutely! I have been under the wrath of a demon principal, who still is bullying me to this, just because I am disabled! As a classroom assistant it is absolute hell, yet I work to my outmost, more than some of the other staff. Yet has attempted so many times by her words and actions to get rid of me from the school. She nit picks everything! Nor do the teachers support me as they daren’t if she, the principal found out. Your advice is good, but as Rose says, you need to be bullied by a principal to see what it’s like, then give advice.
Thank you for saying this. I am a good educator with many years experience in teaching and other industries. My kids do well, but my Admins go out of their way to belittle me and give credit of my accomplishments to others even when data shows my results. I liked the article, but the advice is not coming from someone who experienced being violated bc some Admin feels insecure or threatened. I am so glad you made that point bc the article made me feel that the bullying I suffered is my fault. Bullying is an emotional violence like being emotionally raped. Imagine telling someone you got raped bc you did of something you did? It’s a whole new violation!
Because I do my job well, my Principal doesn’t bother to micro-manage me, but they try to belittle me in front of my peers. One of them event wrote an accident report and gave the impression it happened under my watch when that is so false. It happened during a cluster period.
This is really insightful and helpful. Thank you!
This is the first time I disliked one of your articles. Perhaps I don’t find the principal that bad at our school, but we have had a very difficult time of it with her.
I have to say that I think a Principal should have a sense of what is happening in the school and that they should be working with the teachers to make the school atmosphere one of safety and security and even joy. One teacher in one classroom cannot do this by themselves, this is a team effort.
The article gave the sense that one cannot do anything about this, so one may as well not try and just focus on “myself” and “my job”. Would we want our students to take away such a message when they have a problem – just do your work and don’t try to be part of or help solve the problem that is around you? I agree with picking your battles and having a sense of what and how to start to make things better. Sometimes, not getting involved is the best strategy and not being seen as someone who complains is always best, but being constructive with both praise and criticism should be something that we can all do without being seen as either good or bad or being fearful Saying it is okay for a Principal to be a bully to anyone on staff, is not acceptable to me. So, I found the article disappointing. There should be avenues for teachers to follow if they feel they are being bullied. That is one reason I think unions are important.
Our union and work-environment representatives have worked hard over the last three years to turn around the sense of division among staff and unresponsiveness from our Principal. But it has taken a team effort to get there and things are turning around where staff feel they can talk to each other and come forward with ideas to make our school even better and an enjoyable place to work. Should not this be the goal?
I don’t mind the work; I just don’t want to be bullied and put down in front of the staff.
Hopelyn Casey
Quite a number of principals are out there who seek to undermine and criticise destructively their staff and give the impression that they are the “Boss.” A great principal is one who is humble and willing to guide the staff respectfully to get the best results. Some principals figure that because they have the “chair” then you the classroom teacher should be quiet at all times and allow them to insult and ridicule you before others. A great leader pulls out all the stops and lends support to his or her followers to create a true, comfortable, working and sincere environment.
I started teaching at a new district. The class I had was very difficult (bad behaviors and kids who had disabilities). Since I was the new teacher, the principal gave me all the rough kids because “I was new and fresh”. I was naive and wanted reassurance that I was doing the right thing. Well one day, the principal called me in and said that she has been hearing that I wanted kids out of my class. Well this was untrue and I love each and every kid. I get very bullied during that talk and broke down crying. When I was crying I showed my vulnerable side and said I wasn’t sure I was a good teacher and just putting down myself. The principal ended the meeting by regrouping in the AM. Well she didn’t approach me the day after. Since then I apologized for what I said and clarified everything. Can anyone give me advice on how to earn the principal trust back? Thank you!
Winners know when to quit.
You stated your needs and they weren’t met. Why should you have to apologise for being human. There is an imbalance of power and care for the teacher.
Where is the part where we talk about micro-aggressions and violence against teachers, about feeling like the single parent of 130 kids, about being sworn at, spat at, had stuff thrown at you, your property damaged our stolen, being told by the principal that its A YOU PROBLEM. That’s some fine professional gaslighting.
Parents need to pay for a class assistant if they insist on outsourcing discipline to the school.
A good life orientation person needs to be in place for dealing with trauma.
Principles need to be accountable for their behavior, and extra murals they take on for cash on the school property – but then are not present to help you when you ask for it.
Principals need to be in their offices and deal with uncoperative, defiant behaviors and back up female teachers when they feel they need male protection.
That kind of organisation doesn’t deserve your loyalty. Get out before you have to be wheeled out on a stretcher.
Thank you for making these points. The micro-aggression can take the form of deliberately denying you basic materials to do your job. You can feel set up and end up working 24/7 to make up for the hindrance placed in your way.
I think the advice in this article are sound. But it only addresses a small part of what a teacher may be experiencing. An Administrator bend on belittling a teacher and giving credit to what s/he does to others is toxic. You can be an excellent teacher and they will find ways to make your job more difficult. If they are feeling insecure, and you’re good at what you do, they will constantly put you down in front of others. That can wear one down! We are human!