Much like teachers allowing students to listen to music when their entire focus should be on learning, this one caught me by surprise.
Evidently, there are teachers sharing their personal social-media pages with students.
A message from a reader clued me in. I was skeptical that it was something widespread, so spent a couple days reaching out to contacts around the country.
It’s happening everywhere. And it’s a terrible idea.
Here’s why:
1. It’s inappropriate.
Trading social media pages with children, really? How does that work? “Hey Vanessa, my username is @timbongodrums. What’s yours?”
For what possible innocent reason would any teacher do this? I can’t think of any. Can you? I’m all ears if you’d like to leave a comment below.
2. It’s inappropriate.
If you’re doing it to share your music or art or side gig with students, it’s still wrong. Perhaps it’s an ego play or attempt to impress or be cool.
But it’s odd.
This is the best spin you could put on it. If you want share your bongos or watercolor paintings for instructional purposes, fine. Do it live and in class. Otherwise, it raises a lot of red flags.
3. It’s inappropriate.
Why would a teacher proactively play a part in, and all but give their blessing to, something that the overwhelming research shows is bad for students?
Social media is linked to . . .
- Anxiety
- Lower Attention Span
- Addiction
- Cyberbullying
- Social Isolation
- Depression
- Body Image Distortion
- Low Self-Esteem
- Sleep Disturbances
- Productivity Issues
- Worse Academic Outcomes
Yet, there they are, holding court, students gathered around, trying to be the cool teacher: “Yo, hit me up. My IG is @teacherflowerpainter.”
King of the Jungle
I’ve written over 800 articles for SCM and try never to allow any perception of anger to seep into my words.
I can’t do it this time.
Maybe you gave into the contagion of sharing social media with students without thinking. Maybe your naivete didn’t allow you to go there or realize the extreme inappropriateness and danger to your career.
Maybe you’re a young teacher and just assume that it’s normal. It’s not. It’s weird behavior that shows weak character, at best. It also lessens your authority and leadership presence.
A source told me that at her school nearly every teacher does this. They even follow their students back. This obliterates every rational ethical standard.
If the paste is out of the tube, however, and you’ve already shared your social media handle, then turn the setting to private or start a new page. Do it now. If some students happen to find your page or website, fine.
Never discuss it. Just tell them to get back to work.
If you hear rumors of colleagues sharing their social media with students, I encourage you to report it to your administrator.
Because, as teachers, we have an oath to protect. And you must do so fiercely. As for me, if I see or hear of anyone or anything threatening the welfare or innocence of students, I’m King Kong.
Repercussions be damned.
PS – If teaching has become stressful for you, check out my new book Unstressed: How to Teach Without Worry, Fear, and Anxiety.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, please join us. It’s free! Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week.
Sad that this article needed to be written. I too am appalled that any teacher would think this was a good idea. Thank you for speaking so strongly and with common sense guidelines on this topic!
Is it appropriate to share social media account information with a student after he/she graduates?
I don’t have social media, but if I did, that would be the line I’d draw. When students ask me about politics or religion (“Who did you vote for?” “Do you celebrate Christmas?”), my answer is, “Come back and ask me after you’ve graduated, I’ll tell you, and we can chat about why.” If I had social media, I’d set that same limit.
What about sharing LinkedIn connections!
As a teacher and parent of a middle schooler, I would say teachers who “friend” their former students once they graduate creep me out. There is one single male teacher in particular who reaches out to former students to follow them, and it makes me think he doesn’t realize that it signals he has poor boundaries and is sketchy. I have warned my daughter to stay away.
I 100% agree. School and the classroom must be a place for learning. A teacher giving students the teacher’s official school-issued email address to be used for school and lesson purposes should be OK, but sharing personal social media contact info with students is not OK. I would think that that should be stated in the teacher’s handbook or the school’s written policy.
I also agree that listening to music or anything not related to the courses should not be allowed in the classroom.
With all of this, it has to start at the top—school admin must be firm about setting policy and example.
Bravo!
I have taught children from all over the world. Some are now in their 50s with children of their own. I have never allowed them to “friend” me on social media until they are 18. I have held fast to this rule and it has paid off. Now, I see them as adults, if they choose, and I get to see their journeys. While in my class? NEVER! Under 18? NEVER!
We need education code forbidding fraternization between teachers and students, just as the UCMJ forbids fraternization in the military. We also need ed code prohibiting teachers from being alone with students.
Absolutely. I can’t believe there are some teachers who would share social media or personal emails/ phone numbers with their students. Even the youngest of teachers should realize that is completely inappropriate. This website and a neighboring app (and linked in, at times) are the only social media I use because I found for me the negatives of its use far outweighed any potential positives. I am much happier without it, and would not want to go back.
What about keeping in touch with former students once they’re old enough to have a social media account? I enjoy very much seeing how far my students go in life, I have one who went to Johnson and Whales Culinary School and is now working at a cake shop. Another went to Kutztown University and is now in a Masters program. I’m so proud of these “kids” and now I get to tell them regularly!
You’re right!
100%.
The private messaging that social media allows for is completely inappropriate between teachers and students. If students think it’s okay, it makes them more vulnerable to the grooming tactics of predators.
We have to model what good boundaries look like for our students. Even though teachers who share their social media with students may not have any nefarious purposes, it still confuses the boundaries. Kids need consistent, crystal-clear messages from the adults in their lives about what appropriate communication with adults looks like. Otherwise, how will they know when an adult’s behaviour is a red flag?
Thank you for posting this. I had no idea that this was so widespread.
I have been a teacher for nearly 25 years. If blogs are a form of social media then I, too, participate. For years now I’ve shared a link to my blog via the school’s website as all our teachers do, simply to communicate what’s happening this week or this month in my classroom. Parents often visit and sometimes kids access my blog too. I’ve never considered this form of sharing information to be inappropriate. I do not share any other form of social media with students or parents, nor would I consider any of them (Facebook, Twitter, Insta, TikTok, etc) to be appropriate to share with students. In fact I’m not on any other platforms often and do not have the apps for them either.
I am so with you! This is a fraction of the systematic behavior problem in our educational system. Adults attempting to ‘friend’ students.. to the point of addressing the class as “Friends, please line up…” etc. I’m fed up with colleagues allowing students so much leeway in the classroom that it spills out into the hallways, the playground, on field trips, where I appear to be the ‘the mean teacher’ because I’m correcting behavior that should have been dealt with day 1 in the homeroom class. Educators, as well as parents, are so afraid to discipline kids, and they believe that allowing them into their ‘friendship’ sphere can replace classroom/home behavior management. It’s RIDICULOUS! I love your philosophy and will continue to share your common sense management advice b/c IT WORKS! Students don’t want your friendship, they crave your consistency, care, routine and engaging teaching. Wake up!!
No further words are necessary. You are absolutely correct!
Thank you for finally saying it! I wish more teachers would read this and more districts would enforce this.
AMEN and AMEN!!
I would like to see a corresponding list of the “positives” of social media. I don’t think there are any besides sharing grandkid pictures in the family. I see all of the effects of the negatives every day in middle school. I certainly agree that it violates every ethical code to share personal information with your students. You are opening forbidden and dangerous doors.
Thank you, Michael.
The only way this might be appropriate is when the teacher makes a page for the entire class to share, display work, find study partners, inspiration, etc.
But it’s not the same thing at all; you’re a teacher, not their friend, not their peer.
Michael, always refreshing to hear you speaking wisdom in these days on insanity. Much love.
Totally agree. That’s why I have two separate accounts. Personal page and page where students can join that’s only school content! Love this post
Boundaries are important
I didn’t even realize this was a thing. Our district has strict policies against this. We do the training every year. 👍🏻.
I could not agree with you more! When I was a young teacher it was just starting and I did a couple with the following thing and I am immediately freaked out and said no way took down all of my social media etc. The thing about Instagram and Snapchat and all that is that they can find you and follow you unless you do the privacy or just get rid of it.
My district in particular makes a sign as part of our contract that we will not do this and that if we get caught doing it we are terminated immediately. Now is a more mature teacher I think along the lines of you have just how odd it looks at best and how deeply inappropriate it is and teaching in this day and age when I see just how bad it is and how addicted kids are even to things like YouTube and tik tok I’m like you I don’t want to have any part of it because even talking about it makes it seem like you’re encouraging that damaging behavior.
I’ve gone to the opposite extreme of this. Quite a few years ago when I was a substitute teacher, I had some family friends allow their 4th grader to get FB. I figured I was a safe person to have on there.
The second she moved up to 6th grade and I was her substitute (I subbed 6-12th grades), I told her that I was sorry, I would have to unfriend her. Even when she was in HS and they moved a couple of towns away, we kept contact to in person. When she graduated High School, we connected again, and have been FB friends for 7ish years now.