It’s so easy to do.
One of your smart, capable, polite, well-groomed, athletic, and/or charismatic students accidentally and ever-so-briefly breaks a class rule, and you smile and give them a gentle reminder.
You trust them, after all. It was a mistake, after all. They get it, after all. What’s the harm?
Well, let’s see . . .
The Rest
What about the rest of the students? What do they think when they see you let a select one or two perfects off the hook?
Oh, they notice. Don’t think they don’t. In most cases, they just watch and roll their eyes inwardly. Because they’re used to it. It’s commonplace, just another school day.
But each time it happens their resentment deepens. Their indifference solidifies. They start to believe that the system is rigged against them. So why bother? Or, better yet, why not give the teacher the misbehavior they expect?
Furthermore, if the teacher can’t be trusted to consistently follow their own classroom rules and consequences—that they make such a big deal about—then can anything else they say be trusted?
The Select
When you’re treated as special because of your looks, athletic ability, intelligence, or any other reason, it’s human nature to start believing that you’re better-than.
You need a solid familial support system to keep you grounded, which many students don’t have.
This is a dangerous place to be that sets these students up for a terrible fall when they inevitably realize that there are scores of people more talented than them.
In the meantime, it becomes difficult to avoid looking down your nose at others. The temptation to be a mean girl, a bully, an arrogant jock, a have rather than a have-not is too great.
You’re a big fish for years and years until one day life smacks you in the face and people no longer cater to you anymore, or even glance in your direction. Many, many never recover from the fall.
The Teacher
If you care about kids, you must do the hard thing.
You must be mentally strong enough to enforce consequences consistently and equally. You are in a unique position to bring reality and fairness to your little classroom world.
You can help The Rest start feeling like valued members of your class like everyone else. You can prove to them that there are people they can trust and that opportunity is available for them too.
Personally, I worry about The Select even more.
Most assuredly, they will not become a YouTube star. They’re not going to be a professional athlete. They won’t be a tech billionaire. Many will fall off the face of the earth after high school.
You are in position to help both groups see reality.
To lift one group into recognizing their own talents and abilities that are so needed in this hurting world. To bring another group into a healthy and humble appreciation for their gifts and how they can harness and direct them for good.
Or you can play a part in the destruction of both.
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I’m a sub and I try to treat all the kids the same. I don’t care if you’re a star athlete, a great performer, you’re on SGA. Some kids are surprised by this, but I feel that if you don’t hold all the kids to the same standard, you’re setting all of them up for failure. In fact, I feel like in some ways these golden kids need to be held to an even higher standard, if that makes sense. Because many of them have the support systems at home already, and simply put, they know better.
Hmm, can you be more specific? Is this about nuance of words or tone? I feel like I do this— gently saying to one child “remember our rules about mouth/ body” vs saying to another child “you have a yellow card/ warning for breaking rule two”. Or letting it slide when one kid gets up to get a kleenex. I don’t want to show any favoritism but treat all students equally and have a positive respectful learning atmosphere for all. Anyone with more experience in managing children in a classroom have thoughts on my comment? How do you keep things from going downhill proactively from the getgo of a class? Especially when lessons are asking them to talk?
You have some good questions. I am now a retired teacher but after many years of teaching and in general feeling that I had good classroom management skills, I saw one of Michael’s earlier articles that dealt with this same subject. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I realized this was me! I let the “good” kids off in a way I did not with others. I looked more into Michael’s articles and suggestions and got a book. I found out that a teacher can always improve and I feel that I did. I won’t say I totally changed my techniques because honestly, I was already doing many things in the ways that he suggests. But there was significant tweaking and it led to better things in my things in my classroom. By being aware of this attitude and changing some things made classroom management so much easier. So back to your questions. I don’t know how much you have read in terms of Michael’s approaches to classroom management but everything you’ve asked about he has written about. Look into his online articles as far as your particular concerns go; he will have something about it. And for a somewhat broad answer right now to you, I feel that what you’ve asked about is answered by saying you MUST have consistent procedures that you have taught in the way that Michael has written about. Say that phrase, Consistent Procedures, to yourself a hundred times over. You and your students have to know how to handle every aspect of your day, every single day. This is what keeps things from going downhill – they will know how to handle getting a kleenex, what to do during turn-and-talk lessons, what to do in small group, what to do when a rule is broken, etc. Things can rarely go downhill when this is all already taught, modeled, and enforced in your classroom. All the articles on this website have laid it out. I hope they are helpful to you. Good luck in your teaching career and may it bring you as much joy as it did to me.
This is great! It’s all about being clear, concise, and consistent with all students.
As a sub, I’ve encountered the various “types” of students referred to in Michael’s article. I totally agree that classroom management and consequences must be conducted and enforced equally and impartially across the board. The problem, unfortunately, sometimes happens when a simple consequence— enforced fairly and per the teacher’s sub plan— is not supported by admin or by the teacher. If our education system is failing, it is because of weak admins and weak teachers who are afraid that the students won’t “like” them— not just because of poor student behavior.
I am an Art teacher. How young do you use these consequences? I teach 4-8 yr olds and use these concepts successfully but sometimes feel like I’m being too rough on my 5-6 yr olds. For example, ‘while I’m talking you are not’. They just get so excited about the project I am showing them and their ideas and excitement starts to fire and they start whispering to a friend…
Treat everyone the same…..no slack. I teach middle school…be fair, be consistent, be honest, be detached, be professional it’s not personal: this goes for the treatment of students other staff, admins and parents. The rules are in place so the learning environment can foster learning. I don’t care if your mom is on the school board, or if your IEP said 1.5 extra time for tests…you get that, but not a second more, your dad is the HR director for the school district and you didn’t turn in your HW before the due date deadline….well you now have a zero. If you let things slide, you will be fighting for your life and your class by December…and you won’t get it back.