Not much fires a teacher up more than a student talking back. It has a special way of getting under the skin because . . .
It’s blatantly disrespectful.
It typically happens in front of the class.
It directly challenges your authority.
How you handle it goes a long way toward discouraging it from happening again. And not with just this one student, but also with the rest of your class.
The best way to deal with talking back is to avoid it to begin with. Follow your classroom management plan the same way every time—calmly and predictably—so you never catch a student surprised.
When they know they’ve broken a rule, and know you’re going to follow through, then the chances of a negative response are slim.
However, let’s say it happens. You give a warning and the student talks back.
I recommend five steps:
1. Turn away.
If you stand there and eyeball the student, then you’re either going to show how angry it makes you or say something you’ll regret.
2. Ignore for now.
Go back to whatever you were doing. This will calm you and the student down and turn the class’ attention to something else.
3. Wait.
Allow the student to consider they made a mistake. When you don’t respond right away, it prompts reflection and often regret. Wait at least ten minutes.
4. Enforce.
When the time feels right based on your teacherly sense, approach the student and enforce the next consequence for being disrespectful. Then walk away.
5. Contact.
Brazen disrespect must be reported to parents—not so much as an added consequence but because parents have a right to know.
Refrain
Resist the urge to pull the student aside for a talking-to, lecture, or the like. Have no discussion whatsoever. Allow your classroom management plan to do its job without your interference.
It covers disrespect.
Also, and this is critical, show no emotional reaction. It’s a bad moment for them. So let it be. Don’t let them off the hook by justifying their disrespect of you.
If they feel you deserve it, then they won’t learn anything from the experience. They’ll only learn a lesson if you respond like a leader worth looking up to.
I recommend this strategy for elementary students as well as high school. Yes, at the most challenging schools. Yes, in this day and age. In fact, it’s more important now than ever before.
If you have questions, please leave below and I’ll put them on the list of future topics or cover them in a video.
PS – I’ll be taking next week off for Thanksgiving, but will be back the following week with a new article.
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