Kneeling down to a student’s eye level to discuss behavior or impart an important lesson is common practice.
It’s recommended without second thought.
Teachers do it every day. The idea is that it’s more effective and the student is more likely to heed your advice.
Except, it isn’t true. Furthermore, it’s a mistake that you may long regret.
Here’s why:
It’s dangerous.
SCM is a vessel for teacher horror stories. We hear it all, from teachers being accused of false crimes to their cars getting keyed in the parking lot.
One of the most common reports is being punched and kicked by students.
You must protect your safety. And nothing puts you in a more vulnerable position than kneeling down within striking distance. Add to it a discussion about misbehavior and you’re asking for trouble.
It’s threatening.
Some teachers will even hold the student by the arms or position the child’s back to a wall in order to keep them from moving or turning away.
But placing yourself inside a student’s personal space is threatening and hostile, especially if you put your hands on them (which is a no-no).
I see high school teachers invading personal space all the time. For many students, it’s an act of aggression that takes willpower to remain composed, particularly if eye contact seems forced.
It causes resentment.
Even if you do it kindly, at best getting eyeball-to-eyeball close is awkward for the student. Most likely, you’ll leave them creeped-out and offended.
They definitely won’t listen to you, other than than to tell you what you want to hear. Afterward, you’ll have less influence over their behavior, not more.
In this day and age, anything that whiffs of intimidation will backfire.
A Better Approach
So what should you do instead?
First, make a rule for yourself to never crowd into a student’s personal space, kneeling or otherwise. Always keep a safe distance.
Second, here at SCM we recommend managing behavior with all your cards laid out on the table. In other words, you model and teach exactly what you will do and what will happen if a student breaks a classroom rule.
And you adhere to it 100 percent of the time.
It’s a promise you’ll never break. In this way, you’ll have no reason to pull a student aside to discuss their behavior. You’ll also be able to maintain a trusting and influential relationship with each student.
As part of our high school plan, there is a moment when you’ll inform a student of next steps. However, it isn’t a discussion. You’re merely relaying the facts.
This approach to classroom management is not only safer, but far more effective. To learn more, check out our classroom management plan guides at right.
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Coming from an elementary school teacher: I totally agree with this article in regards to high school students and children who may be dysregulated. However, if a child is regulated and has no history of violence, in my opinion it is okay to get down at their level if it is simply not to tower over them (I am a tall and big man and many times I noticed that students love it when I get down at their level as it builds a stronger student-teacher relationship). During carpet time and classroom meetings for instance, I will sit in a circle with my students and this way, I feel that I have better eye contact/connection and thus better classroom management with my students.
Great advice, as always. Thank you!
As a teacher who was attacked by a student who I was discreetly speaking with at eye level, I completely agree with your suggestion to avoid doing so. I was held by my shirt, kicked and punched in front of my class. The student didn’t necessarily seem upset. He was six. My students evacuated the room. Someone came and took over my class for the day. The student was placed in an alternate placement, eventually, but not before I was ridiculed by the worker’s comp investigator. I ended up in physical therapy, bruised and angry.
Since then, I remain standing, put distance between myself and students, sometimes even a desk is between us. I’m on alert, and watch often when other teachers are speaking with a child this way, bristled and ready, should I need to call the office to get them assistance. When I’ve shared with others that perhaps they should avoid that practice, it falls on deaf ears.
I teach middle school, and I’m always careful to respect my students’ personal space. I stand close enough that I can speak in a calm, restrained way and be heard but far enough away that they don’t feel threatened or uncomfortable. I want them to focus on what I’m saying to them, not how to get away.
This is the way. It is safer and more respectful to keep a reasonable distance.
I teach elementary general music and I often have students who want to give me a hug. I asked my principal about this and she recommended that I accept a hug from a student. Am I inviting trouble?
Yes you are. Give them a fist bump instead.
For me personally, it depends on context and how you go about it. I don’t currently work at a school where I face threats of physical violence from students, and there are certainly some students I instinctively know to keep my distance from.
I find that especially if the rest of the class is busy working on something and a student is unfocused or distracting others, getting on their level allows me to talk to them in a quieter voice so as not to draw attention to the situation. In my context, it’s possible to crouch down to eye level or even discreetly pull up a chair while maintaining an appropriate distance from students. If there is ambient noise because students are discussing/working on an assignment, it helps ensure that we can hear one another. I am generally very bad at making eye contact because it feels awkward, and I don’t think crouching down necessitates looking directly at the student the whole time. Getting to a student’s level while maintaining distance allows me to speak to them directly and respect their privacy.
In my experience, this approach is almost always a positive thing because I never approach it aggressively or as a means of intimidation. I keep my distance, and it’s a norm in my classroom that students do the same for me. It’s also not coddling; I am always firm and direct, but also calm. Rather, it’s a way of discreetly giving a student the opportunity to correct their behavior during class. In more serious circumstances, where I need to take a student aside or talk to them outside of class, I also prefer taking the time to find a place to sit with the student at an appropriate distance. It is more calming for both of us, it gives the situation a moment to diffuse and if the student is taller than me (I am tall for a woman, but most 11th grade boys are taller), it makes me feel safer and more able to assert myself calmly.
Again, I understand that I am teaching in a specific context where I fortunately do not need to worry about violent behavior. I am not disagreeing with what’s being said here – I just wanted to add my experience because this works for me, and personally, when I was a student, I hated the experience of a teacher literally talking down to me. I also found standing for a difficult conversation more activating, whereas sitting allowed me to be more physically relaxed.
This is what I was going to say – context is everything. You also need to know your students. The students I teach (North QLD Aus) respond poorly, for the most part, to an adult towering over them – that is perceived as aggressive and intimidating.
Completely agree!!