It’s popping up more and more in IEPs and 504s.
Called Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), it’s marked by disobedient behavior toward authority.
But what is it really?
It’s a student who doesn’t want to be told what to do. They don’t want rules or boundaries. And they don’t want to be confronted when they misbehave.
So they rebel. They talk back. They act disrespectfully. They have a temper tantrum. They storm off in anger.
They are students who have seen behind the curtain and know that if they wish they can hold an entire class or even school hostage by their actions. They wield them like a weapon, and there is little anyone can do about it.
Teachers and administrators walk on eggshells around them. They’re given lots of space. They’re rewarded continually. They’re appeased and indulged and, ironically, given power over the authority figures in their life.
And because their behavior is labeled a disorder, it’s all rubber-stamped, even recommended.
Is there a cause of ODD? Experts say there is no known cause. But the truth is, there is a cause to every misbehavior, including our own.
A cause can be minor or profound. It can be environmental or genetic. But none of it matters. Because despite our parents, our outrage, our past hurts, traumas, and peccadilloes, we still have to live in society.
It’s our job as teachers and administrators to show our students, sometimes through hard lessons, how to do that. Otherwise, we set them up for far greater failure, instability, and tragedy down the line.
So, how best to handle students with ODD?
1. Accountability.
The first step counselors, psychologists, resource specialists, administrators, etc. make is to remove or greatly lessen accountability. This is a huge mistake that in the long run will only make matters much worse.
Yes, it may placate and keep the student calm in the moment, but it virtually guarantees they won’t improve. You as a school or teacher will be dealing with the same issues year after year until you can pass the student along.
It’s shameful, but this is where we are and what typically happens to them until they’re dumped out into the world to fend for themselves.
Instead, the best thing you can do is ensure the student is held accountable for disrupting learning and endangering the safety of others. After all, it isn’t just about this one student. It’s about everyone, students and teachers alike.
2. Consistency.
Every teacher every year must be committed to the same accountability for this one student. It’s the only way there will be real, enduring change—not just a good day or week, but an about-face transformation in respect for authority.
It is critical, however, to be consistent.
It must be an every-time enforcement of rules, even and especially if the student behaves egregiously in response. In fact, any defiant reaction must also be enforced.
The key—and this is huge—is that the teacher follows through matter-0f-factly, even kindly. A gentle, compassionate handling of misbehavior is mandatory.
It’s the authoritative nature of how they’re held accountable that students with ODD rail most against, not the accountability itself.
3. Rapport
If a student with ODD likes you because you provide trust and stability by doing what you say you’re going to do, and by being consistently kind, then you’re 90 percent of the way there in helping them take responsibility rather than blaming you or pointing the finger elsewhere.
In this way, you must never create friction between you.
You must never show your frustration with them. You must never lecture, question, berate, or otherwise construct a wall between you. This goes for even if they get angry at you or say awful things to you.
Your relationship, born of trust and likability, is everything in getting them to see and finally understand that they are the problem; that even though they may have demons in their life, it isn’t an excuse.
Only then will they begin to change their stripes.
Brick by Brick
The three guidelines above, although simple, orient a student, often for the first time, into a fair and realistic relationship with those around them. They begin to see, over time, the rhythms of life from outside their subjective view.
They begin to overcome the ODD label they’re saddled with and build empathy and understanding brick by brick.
They can look beyond their frustrations and anger—real or imagined, internal or external—to grasp and form an appropriate response.
The result is slow but steady healing, budding self-worth, and a greater focus outside of themselves and toward the wider world beyond them.
But you as a teacher and school staff must have the courage to do what is right by them. You must reject the do-good strategies that might feel right in the moment, and even result in greater immediate peace, but do long-term damage and irreparable harm.
Which throws them reeling into a very difficult future.
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I am a parent of a child with ODD. It is definitely chemical/genetic, as he has had this demeanor since infancy! He has been a tremendous challenge to parent because his default is always “no”. He also feels a lot of shame because it takes a lot of work for him to stay calm, compared to others.
I agree with everything you wrote. Feeling that everything is fair and being able to predict consequences of actions is so important. My kid may need a few minutes of break to calm down privately when upset or more parent contact than most students, but with a kind AND strict teacher, he does so well.
That is really good to hear. Thanks for chiming in!
So what do you suggest to hold high school students accountable? We have a 9th grader this year who is occupying an enormous amount of teacher, admin, and guidance counselor energy.
My question exactly.
I had a child in 2 nd grade whom I used to really worry about he used to keep pencil sharpened and poke the boy sitting before in his but. Fill his shoes with sand and after lunch enter the classroom ans rain it in the classroom. And on.. Everyday passed with fearof being jailed. Then I decided. I made him the instructor. I put a chair like mine next to me and informed the class that He is the instructor. Instead of myself announcing to the class, I used to tell him in his ears. He should inform the class. Its like an old saying give the key to the thief and make him the guard. You wont believe, his attitude started changing, once he got the acknowledgement, everyone used to say goodmorning Teacher then goodmorning instructor. Then He got complete hope on me and completely abided me even other subject teachers used to call me when needed. That worked wonderfully.
Sameway, a 9 th grade student who used to disturb my class, wont allow me to finish my lesson plan. I made him instructor, He used to sit by my side. Everybody’s eyes on him which he wanted attention sitting in the last bench. He used to write for me on the board, checked the homeworks, maps only after getting his initial, the notebook should come to my table. even A+ grade holder has to show his notebook to him and get his sign ofcourse in pencil. The school, management, teachers and his fellow students found the trmendous change in him. He became so obedient. And studious. Ievery child can be mended.
Spot on. I refuse to use a reward system, stickers, stamps, behavior charts with kids. I’m appalled by the current requirement in some districts to evacuate the classroom when a student starts to get out of control. What I’ve seen is these children are left to physically DESTROY the room – books, decorations, desks, technology, most of which has been paid for by the teacher. Why is this okay? Why does this happen weekly (or daily?) in some classrooms? Why are we letting small children run our schools? Why are we afraid to hold them accountable? How is this even remotely helpful for that child? I’ve heard of situations where the school administration spends entire days following an out-of-control child around the school while that child screams his way through hallways, playgrounds, etc. These children are allowed to kick, bite, spit on staff. It’s crazy-making. And it’s yet another reason why many wonderful educators are calling it quits. Such a tragedy.
I agree 100%. This lack of discipline in schools is what is leading many states and districts down the dismal road of “school choice”, which believe me, is not going to be a choice for most of our students. Every single person who pulls their children out of public school to go to a charter school cites “lack of discipline” as the major reason for their decision.
We need to STOP letting students run the schools. They are literally screaming for boundaries.
I agree with everything you said. I’m in this situation right now with two in my first grade class. One has already destroyed half of my class. We’re on week 7. It makes me not want to go to work because nothing changes.
It will. But it will be slow and require a lot of patience and empathy. It is impossible without additional adults in the classroom to help.
We empty the classroom as a last ditch option because it’s worse for someone to get injured, whether it be an innocent child or the teacher. I’ve seen skillful behavior teachers or assistants intervene in ways that avoided that. I’ve also seen careers ended and lawsuits occur because the classroom teacher or others tried to establish control through physical dominance and trying to physically remove the troubled student. The careers that ended were due to injuries to the teachers’ sternums, backs, and even throats. Being strongly authoritarian in your classroom style doesn’t work with all students. I like the suggestions in the article about how to handle students with ODD because I think it will work with many. It’s when the student have multiple compounding problems that there might need to be further options.
I agree 100% with this. My personal challenge, however, was with a student who, although I tried very hard to discipline this way, was so disruptive that the other 17 students were left to themselves as this student threw things, made so much noise the remaining students were unable to hear, and the parent, although empathetic, seemed unable/unwilling to support me in a way that brought any change. It was such a frustrating year! It was due, however, to this student being in my class that I sought out help and landed on this website, and for that I am grateful!
Brilliant and spot on. The biggest challenge is getting an entire administration on board, especially in an environment of individualism and the demand for teachers to pander to each students special needs in and out of class.
You said it. We have to live in a society.
It’s also often difficult to get parents on side but when all staff and parents are on the same page, it can make a big difference.
Thank you. I feel like this is relevant toward other relationships as well: kindness + accountability and honesty. “You must reject the do-good strategies that might feel right in the moment, and even result in greater immediate peace, but do long-term damage and irreparable harm.”
YES!! We had a student who got in a fight with another kid and got a slap on the wrist for it. We were told he couldn’t be suspended for any reason 🙄
What can an individual teacher do when administration is not on board? I have a student with ODD that I see once every six school days as a specialist teacher. This is my sixth year with this student. I’m working hard on establishing a positive relationship, and I’m consistent with my rules and consequences. But when my discipline plan runs out and the next step is for the student to leave the classroom, there is no support. The student is often brought back to me 10 minutes later after having had a sensory break, and there is no further consequence. The sensory break is the go-to solution for any sort of behavior that moves beyond the classroom discipline plan at this school.
This is exactly what I’m currently dealing with. Two kids in the same first grade class. I’m at my wits end.
Maybe try sensory breaks in your class. I have a “safe space” in my room with sensory tools for students to use. This is a helpful way to show students to get out their frustrations in my class. I communicate to them it’s not a place to play but if they’re feeling nervous, angry, upset, etc. move to the safe place and use it when they need. Sometimes I’ll have more than one student in the space. Sometimes a student will stay there the whole time they’re in my class (in a specialist teacher). Communicate to the students what it’s used for. No one talks to the person in the safe place, no one in the safe place talks to others. It is a tool for students to use. When they’re ready they will come out of the place and get back to work. Some may need it more than others. But I found this to be helpful.
I would love to do this – I have seen it done in other schools and classrooms. However, I do not have the space in my classroom to do something like this. There is no way that I could have a safe space in my classroom with the limited space I already have.
This is the exact OPPOSITE of what this article is recommending and EXACTLY what every teacher on here is commenting with complaints about. It doesn’t work. It’s ineffective & doesn’t create long term change. I could go on & on about the how this type of *solution* is what fueling all the behavior challenges teachers are dealing with on a daily basis. It’s just allowing a kid to do what they want, when they want as long as they want and that’s not how the world works. It’s not preparing them for real life and just perpetuates the problem.
“They are students who have seen behind the curtain and know that if they wish they can hold an entire class or even school hostage by their actions….
And because their behavior is labeled a disorder, it’s all rubber-stamped, even recommended.”
Thank you for telling it exactly like it is! I’ve seen it so many times and was incredulous that it was ever allowed to happen. And thanks for explaining how to deal with it kindly but firmly. I’ve seen a number of students like this change slowly but surely, exactly in the way you described and for those reasons.
Doing anything less than this for them is the “easy” way out, but only in the short term, as you say. It’s doing them a great disservice in preparation for their life in society and is more for our own benefit than theirs, but in the end, we all lose. Imagine them as adults if they don’t change, how much they’ll be hurting others as well as themselves! They deserve so much better than that from us.
I love your work. One point, however, that cannot be emphasized enough is that most of the time, the child doesn’t wake up saying, “hey I’m gonna be rude, oppositional and wreck everyone’s day today”. ADHD actually is the root cause of many skill deficits and include behavior that can look like (or accompany) conduct disorder and ODD. Dr. Ross Greene is an expert on this very child. He wrote a book that EVERY teacher and administrator in education should read and act upon called Lost At School. I work with these students and there is always an underlying reason for the outburst or behavior that may not seem connected to what we are actually asking them to do. Often, there are skill sets that aren’t as strong as they could be that we are expecting of them that they just cannot do. I agree with consistency and building trust. But we need to absolutely not take it personally and believe “they are just brats doing it on purpose”. This is one of the biggest tragedies with teachers who have been in this profession longer than a decade that they do not understand this child at all.
They make all kinds of assumptions of their motives and instead of coming alongside, they punish and alienate. A little education would go a long way to help all parties involved.
Really appreciate your answer!
I agree with you in some respects, especially the “just being brats” part. I’ve been to 2 of Dr. Greene’s in- person seminars. However, he advocates teachers spending 1-3 hours of interviews with the student one-on-one. Unless a school is willing to provide subs or coverage, teachers do not have the time to do this. And, we should not be expected to stay for hours after school to do this. When a teacher asked Dr. Greene where we could find time to do this, he responded, “Do the interviews on your own time.” I get frustrated by experts who assume that teachers have “free time” after school to do these interviews. I work a 2nd job outside of school to support my family, so I am exhausted at the end of the school day. I go early to schoolto plan because I can’t stay after. If admin would support teachers, his approach would be helpful.
Yes, administrators think all bad behavior is due to a lack of trust and “relationship” with a student. It is demeaning to hear these trite phrases when a student is truant, and not following the rules. Not all problems are due to “lack of a relationship” with a student.
Yep, it’s tough dealing with ODD, but like all things to do with behaviour and expectations, clear boundaries and consistency and follow through to enforce it are the key. Yes, kids with ODD often can’t help and it would be frustrating for them, but they will never learn better if poor behaviour is just accepted and explained away (what we put up with becomes the benchmark standard). When and if all levels of school maintain this expectation and follow through/back this up students with ODD can and will improve in my experience. They might not always be able to help their frustrations but they can learn to better deal with them with clear and consistent consequences (it’s not about the severity but certainty)- it helps these students (and the school and society in general) in the long run of those with behaviour issues learn to better deal with. Whatever a student is feeling is what they feel and can’t be changed but how they view the issue and react CAN. Keep striving all to improve the future for those with ODD by helping them to learn better reactions.
I have been in this profession for over TWO decades. My goal in working with my most challenging students has always been to build trust in me and in themselves. With consistent expectations, sincere and specific praise, and consequences (natural, if possible) students can obtain self-control and confidence that they can manage their place in the world. I’m betting you and I have much in common about how we approach teaching children, please don’t “make all kinds of assumptions” about my motives. Instead, come along side me so we can learn from each other.
OK, I understand all of this, but what specific suggestions do you have as consequences? My student is in the 10th grade and has a lousy 504, with inconsequential modifications. Things like, “give him breaks”, when he treats my whole class as a break. And a couple of other lame, cliche mods.
He wasn’t admitted into Special Ed, even though he has been hospitalized and won’t take his meds. And of course, he also has ADHD.
I’ve been building a relationship with him and am brutally honest about his behavior being disrespectful to me and disruptive of the class. I have 4 boys and a girl who all feed off of each other, my class is chaos
I’m starting to pull the non-behavior kids into ono-on-ones so I get to know them and let them know I see them and care about them despite the fact that I spend more time with the other crew.
But, back to my student with ODD & ADHD, if I called the admin each time he disrupted the class, I would never see him. He is never mean, just disrespectful, noncompliant, loud, and moves around constantly. He and the rest of his crew yell to each other across the room and wander into each other’s personal space. I don’t have them seated near each other, but it’s irrelevant because they aren’t ever in their seats. He is the main instigator most of the time so, if I could manage him, I could move onto the others.
I called my student’s mom and the next day he was furious with me, and even more defiant. So I imagine involving admin would destroy all the trust he has in me. Also, depending on the admin, he may be disciplined in a way that is punitive he gives up on school altogether.
He’s on the football team and making grades when grade checks come around, is the only time he cares. The rest of the days, he won’t work. I have had him sit at my desk to work on assignments together, and he focuses then and does well. But, again, that’s time away from the rest of my students. When his mom and I talked, she said to stop helping him catch up so he can meet grades at the 11th hour. So I agreed.
I contacted the head of special ed and diagnosticians, expressing all of this and asking if there’s anything we can do for him. If he doesn’t get services that help him control his impulses, teach him social skills, give him time in a sensory room, I don’t see him holding down a job.
So, again, what are actual actions for consequences? Not helping him meet due dates so he can’t make football, one thing, but unless I get that through to him daily, it may not click.
What can I do every day?
Thanks.
Oh my goodness, I’m so glad you wrote this. I just moved to a new state/school and the entire 4-6th grades seem to be overrun with students with this type of behavior. They all have “behavior plan charts” that only give the option to “earn” rewards and never have any accountability. It is destroying the school and running out the teachers because even if a student throws things, locks people out, runs out the door, or runs around the room doing whatever they want they are never held accountable!~ I will definitely be sharing this article.
Supposing you’ve already attempted rapport but the disruptions and/ or disrespect continue anyway, what specific types of consequences would you suggest for a middle schooler that would be firm enough while reasonable? Also, would this change based on whether their IEP/504 says they have ODD, or would you use the same consequences either way?
I am a mom of a 4th grader with ADHD/ODD and I am a Middle School Teacher. I agree with the strategies mentioned in the article. However, battling these kids daily and being consistent is easier said than done. Sometimes you have to let them get the anger out. Deep down these kids are very insecure, sensitive and anxious. Please be mindful of your comments if you don’t live this every single day.
I agree with this article but I need more practical strategies or explanations to help me understand how to literally use this approach. Please give me an example of how to make a student accountable for tearing a room apart. What does accountability look like? Is it a conversation?
Consistency is obvious and I totally agree, but I do need help with what are reasonable ways of handling misbehaviour? I am needing examples.
Rapport is important, always using the gentle and compassionate approach I get.
Am I the only one that isn’t sure how to put this into practice?
Please tell me when a teacher has time to teach if there are from one to three ODD students in your classroom, often even more? We. as teachers have a responsibility and a right to teach.
For your students with ODD most of them really don’t have a problem with authority. Most of the time they have separation anxiety and feel alone in a classroom. I think if you give them an opportunity to spend time with you one-on-one as a reward for being good you will establish the rapport needed to handle this problem. Also let them help out in the classroom cuz most of them really just want your approval and to please you. As strange as that sounds it’s true. Let them hand out books, paper, anything needed for the classroom. They can in the long run by helping you give you more time to teach the other students. For those ODD students you are the one with the ODD not them. Also if possible let them help with some of the other students.
It is frightening that any teacher has to figure out how to manage this type of behaviour. We aren’t therapists, doctors, or psychologists!
Then maybe don’t teach. Find a new profession if you can’t find the compassion within yourself to make adjustments for these kids.
I agree with everything written in this article. When I got to the part of holding the student accountable it got me thinking about the literal meaning of this. How can teachers do this effectively?
I have a son with adhd/ODD. He is kind and has a huge heart but he has ODD and can say some of the meanest things. This year was his first year of High School. It was the worst year of our life’s. It was hard. I am reading comments from teachers and how they need time to teach not deal with the negative affects that come from children with ODD.
Children with ODD have a disability. Just because you can’t see iftall the time or as clear ad others does not mean it isn’t REAL and isn’t there!! My child wishes more than anything to be “normal”. How do you have time to deal with children with ODD and teach?…. You teach them like you would the other kids. You also teach the other kids how to work with children who are different instead of making it a big deal. Children with ANY disability still have the right for a fair and equal education as EVERY other student. Is it hard and exhausting?!!! Yes!!!
When you have a child that can’t walk you get him a wheel chair. When you have a child with ODD you find things that WORK! When it doesn’t work anymore you go back to the drawing board. Know one knows what will work!!! Instead of being the teacher that says I don’t do rewards, I don’t do this or that. Stop being defiant yourself and do what makes a kid successful!!!! Each child is different. Imagine being the child that goes to bed every night fighting a war with himself…and they don’t even know what they are fighting for.
I need transforming advice. I have a variety of difficult behaviors and a dozen students in five grade levels in one room. We have toileting, yells of defiance, and disruption, and damaging of materials in our room by students who do not participate. I am trying to educate, train in good relations and acceptable behaviors. The accountability, consistency, and rapport are something I also have witnessed as leading to progress. So far, no computers are used except for testing. I am always willing to change and embrace better strategies for safety’s sake. I try to rely on my team of professionals in my area. My time to discuss with them is limited, but the gossipers are always available to attack.
Shame on you for thinking that children with ODD can somehow help what’s going on inside their bodies & minds. It’s people like you that make parents like me hesitant on telling anyone about their child’s “disorder”. Because people like you immediately think that the child is “just bad” or “needs to be punished”. I’m honestly shocked by this article. As I went to google to find ways to help my son at school, this is the first article I came across. Which just further proves my point that people like you are the reason these kids and their parents struggle to balance the fine line of advocating & protecting. I never in a million years would want anyone to know my child has ODD because of the label it comes with and the reaction of people like you! I sure hope that the comments on this thread have allowed you to take a step back at your incorrect perceptions of these CHILDREN & their parents. Maybe take some time to educate yourself of on ODD and other behavioral disorders before you go casting judgment & telling people how to “Handle Students With ODD”.
This is all very real!! After 24 years of teaching I am now out on administrative leave and my career and reputation is on the line. This is all due to made up vindictive stories of the students in my program. One diagnosed with ODD but kept secret until the last iep meeting, 3 others with IQ’s under 76. They are now in 11th grade and untouchable. The administration has taken the easy route of siding with the students and their stories. I can not even give homework because the students complain and my phone rings. I am then sitting in front of my supervisor explaining what I have done for the last 24 years without a complaint. At one point class was going fairly well. It was very structured and admin was supporting me. Then psychologists and special education started slowly handling the complaints
directly from the student without clarifying or confirming with the instructors. They then began removing all the structure. The kids started to see I was no longer able to enforce rules and it spiraled out of control and here I am hopping I do not lose my job. I am with these students 6 hours a day in a vocational setting. I agree with the original article. I agree with inclusion until it puts a halt on educating the rest of the students. I feel for the student, I feel for the parents.Everyone must be held accountable. By the way I also have a child with severe adhd who went through the system. As parents we made sure our student was held accountable for his work and actions within his abilities. His iep was written to make him try, work hard and understand he may need to work harder than others because of the cards he was dealt at birth. He is now 23 and doing very well.
We have GOT to bring consequences and boundaries back! I have taught for 30+ years. The last six have.been exhausting. My classroom used to be a magical place of reading and writing. Now it’s screaming kids and torn up rooms. I have ADHD myself, and school was a challenge. Children used to be shut down when they started screaming, throwing things, etc. Now we evacuate the room while said student destroys it. I get kids have problems. I get kids have diagnoses and special needs. But when is it the other 20 kids turn? Normalized violence in the classroom is not OK. I am not a counselor, therapist, or mental health professional. I am a teacher. Yes, my heart aches for the kids with special needs. But it also aches for the kids that are scared to come to school, because God knows what will happen that day. I have teacher friends that are hit and kicked DAILY. When is it THEIR turn to feel safe in their own classroom? I don’t know the answer, but I know this can’t continue. Yes, we have safe spaces, good relationships, sticker charts, choices, ad infinitum. We are scared and we are exhausted.
I am a retired teacher after serving thirty plus years. It is sad that talented teachers are leaving education because of the ineffectiveness of the American education system, not just teachers’ sincerity or expertise. The education system now mirrors our current society and is tied to its political arena. Note that the present restricted format of curriculum and its delivery lie at the base of teachers being unable to teach and thus hook students on wonder, knowledge, patience/peace, and important recognition of individuality of self and others. Without models and inspiration for exploration and creativity, teachers have few tools to guide students in developing their own methods of self discipline, learning collaboratively or independently, and discovering reasons for a sound education. There is little enjoyment in teaching or learning in most American schools presently. This may sound subjective and irrelevant to the topic, but little room is made for individualized approach to instruction or daily student support. Classrooms reflect the lack. All has been replaced by excessive, sometimes nonsensical, building/district rules; inflexible grade level lesson plans; strictly scheduled and designed grade level units with the major focus being state test scores; “yay saying” administrators; and uninformed or selfishly motivated school boards, city administrators, and state officials. These are of little help.