A rapport-building strategy I wrote about several years ago for in-class learning also happens to be effective online.
And that’s saying something.
Building rapport online is tough sledding—especially when so many schools and districts forbid teachers from requiring students to turn on their Zoom camera.
A terrible decision if there ever was one. After all, if you can’t see your students, you don’t even know if they’re in front of their computer, let alone whether you’re making any connection with them.
It isn’t unusual for a teacher to talk and teach their heart out to a wall of blank screens.
But despite the hurdles of online teaching, there is a relationship-building strategy that still works. It’s also super easy.
So what is it?
It’s to leave short, personal notes for individual students after class has ended. They can come in several forms—email, Remind app, or through the Classwork tab in Google Classroom.
All work well. But to be most effective, each note should meet three criteria:
Uniqueness
Avoid trite language like “good-job” and “way-to-go,” which have lost their meaning due to overuse. Now they make students feel as if they’re just another face in the crowd.
Instead, use the student’s name when addressing them and refer to something in particular they said or did.
This is very powerful because it shows you’re paying attention to them as people and individuals. Keep a look out for anything out of the ordinary, anything you could only say to them—and then seize it.
Specificity
Specificity is the key to finding the most influential words to put in your message. Focus on things your students would never in a million years think anyone would notice.
You don’t have to write paragraphs.
Keep your missives brief and simple, but make them distinct. Refer to talents your students possess or success characteristics you see in them that they themselves may be unaware of.
Discerning and honing in on these gifts is one of the keys to unlocking intrinsic motivation.
Honesty
Kids these days are more aware than we think and can identify a phony from a mile away. So whatever you write in your note, make sure it’s honest.
Make sure it reflects what you really see in them or their work.
In this way, you build your reputation as someone who can be trusted—which is crucial to having influential, behavior-changing relationships with even the most challenging students.
If you fudge, even a little, eventually they’ll find you out.
Something More
Notes connect, encourage, and praise in a way that enliven a love of learning and keep students heading in the right direction. But because of the pandemic, this simple, even primitive, way of communicating has taken on a new level of importance.
If you’ve never met your students in person, or even seen them over Zoom, it’s the only way to start building genuine individual rapport.
This generation, world-weary and jaded in so many ways even before Covid, shrug in the face of flattery and compliments that made students blush not ten years ago.
Nowadays, it takes something more—your awareness, perception, and curiosity about your students—as well as their trust in the veracity of your words—to get through to who they really are.
To reach their quintessence.
And stir the vast potential awaiting within.
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Great idea! Could you write us an example or two?
Thank you for the support on what we call “faces on!” It is important! And to be honest, it is a self consciousness issue not a horrifying embarrassment issue. Slowly, oh so slowly, we are getting better at this online learning.
It is really not great teaching, the powers that be want it to be great teaching, but it is not. Learning is social, and kids do better together. They want it to be great, because then they don’t feel guilty.
I agree – faces on, most of the time. Sometimes I say, if you have this, turn your face off, sometimes we do if you think this or some other question, would you rather…really helped my kids get more comfortable, because you can’t turn them off if you don’t turn them on.
Thanks for your support – and I am going to try the messages… a good reminder.
Using quick morning messages in a Jamboard is a great way to check in with students. They love the interaction, and it’s engaging for the whole class. It a lso provides me a snapshot about how the students are feeling. (i.e. How are you feeling today? or Do you have any questions?)
I’m a remote hybrid teacher, and each morning, I greet the students by name, and they unmute and respond. I also hold a meeting at the end of the day, and before the students sign off, they have to give me a word to describe how they feel.
These strategies are really helping me stay connected with the students!
I like the morning jamboard idea! My students are always so sleepy and uninterested first thing in the morning. I’m going to try this tomorrow.
Great suggestions. Thank you.
I am so against having students (I teach middle school and the plaster their faces all over social media daily, but are too shy to share in class?) have their cameras turned off. This is our new classroom. In a brick and mortar classroom, we would never allow a student to come in and cover their face with a black piece of paper. The students that value their education, will have their cameras on, but those are the same students that are engaged in person. Those who insist on having video off, in most cases are not doing what they should be doing and see the out. My colleagues and I tracked this for four months last spring and 95% of the time were spot on. Admin doesn’t want to ruffle feathers, so they don’t make decisions that are in the best interests of their learning. So very disappointing. Thank you, as always, Michael!
I have been pushed into online teaching after having taught in a physical environment for 30 + years. It is a new experience however I embrace the new normal. Each morning I tried to greet each student online individually. I will also salute the parents and caregivers through the classroom discussion wall in a postive manner.I will start to use some of your ideas on Monday .Thank you
I have always loved leaving my students notes, and wholeheartedly agree on how profound of an impact they can have on our connections with students!
I do take issue with forcing students to keep their cameras on, and I implore you to reconsider. This is an equity issue. Most of us demanding that come from a place of privilege. Our students’ homes do not belong on camera for all to be judging if they do not feel comfortable with that. What about students who live in a home owned by a hoarder? Should they feel bad for that? Or students who are living in a small space, crammed into a small kitchen area with their siblings? Or students with family members who yell at them? They don’t need to broadcast things that “other” them when they crave normalcy. For the average student, maybe the camera should stay on, but it is not our place to judge what the “average” student is. It’s so problematic. It’s more than self-consciousness, and it is something some people focus on so severely that it distracts them from learning. I have a few kids who always leave their cameras off, and they ALWAYS answer me when I ask a question. Relationships first, everything else second.
Marla, you made some good points. However, although a good relationship with students is vital and very important, we mustn’t forget that it is a means to an end and not the end itself. Their education is the end; that’s what comes first.