A student breaks a common classroom rule like forgetting to raise their hand. No big deal. It happens.
So you calmly give a warning.
And Mount Vesuvius erupts. The student crosses their arms, glares at you, and yells, “But I didn’t do anything!”
You remind the student of the rules, which you’ve previously taught, modeled, and consistently followed, but it only makes the student angrier.
“But I didn’t do anything!!”
Such reaction is becoming more common because more students are growing up without being told no. In their mind, calling out in class or wandering the room or otherwise doing what they feel like isn’t “wrong.”
They didn’t beat anyone up. They didn’t throw a desk or break a window. No one was injured.
Now, it’s important to note that schools are quick to label these children with ODD, CD, IED, ADHD, XYZ and the like. It’s not their fault, you see. They can’t help it, you see.
If you’re a longtime reader of SCM, then you know we believe this to be offensively untrue and immensely harmful, all but destining them to a life of unemployability, crime, and violence.
The only solution is to take a stand.
In many ways, it really isn’t their fault. They’ve been let down by the adults in their life who have failed to hold them accountable.
In the above scenario, the worst thing you can do—other than ignoring their misbehavior and accepting it as their disorder talking—is to repeat, remind, convince, explain, or argue why calling out is wrong.
You’ve already done this when you taught your classroom management plan the first week of school. They already know it. They just don’t accept it. At home, you see, they can do what they want.
They’ve been corrupted and now their ego won’t allow them to accept what in their world isn’t misbehavior. They cut in line at McDonald’s. They steal cosmetics. They run through the mall.
You’re going to tell them that they have to raise their hand when they speak?
Yes, you are. If you want to make a difference in their life, you must be tough enough to stick to your guns and protect every student’s right, theirs included, to learn and enjoy being in your classroom.
Thus, here’s how to handle the situation after you’ve give your initial warning and walked away:
1. Don’t respond. They’ll only say “I didn’t do anything!” over and over again. Keep teaching for now.
2. After the student calms down, which might be 30 minutes later, inform them of the second consequence. Walk away.
3. Often, having been left alone to wrestle with their behavior in light of their classmates and your calm, unyielding consistency, they’ll accept it. That it takes dramatic intervention and dubious diagnoses is false.
4. Stay the course. Do what your plan says. Continue to enforce, call home, assign detention, etc. and repeat until they fulfill their responsibility. Period.
5. Never, ever give in. Parents don’t care? Child doesn’t care? Call their bluff and follow through anyway. The magic isn’t in the consequences per se, it’s in your consistency and expert whole-class classroom management.
6. Stay calm. Never explain individually or shade the truth or walk on eggshells. Don’t budge for all the gold in Nevada. Be as resolute as Claudette Colvin.
Why it Works
Because unwavering accountability sends a loud and clear message deep into the heart that you care. You refuse to give up on them, and are likely the only one.
As long as you refrain from lecturing, battling, counseling, and further labeling, and allow the student to make the right choice of their own accord, when they’re ready, it proves that you believe in them.
You hold them to a standard because they have worth. They will feel this and know it to be true.
And it can be life-changing.
This approach no doubt will spark questions. “What if this happens and that happens?” “What about this?” “What then?”
Here at SCM, we don’t run from questions and will answer anything and everything. We take on all comers. However, often it takes an article or video to answer.
So please ask below or email me and I will get to it.
In the meantime, be bold and courageous. A complete change in attitude and understanding about themselves and their world is not only possible, but far easier than the educational ruling class believes or will ever admit.
Giving in, excusing bad behavior, implying there is something wrong with them, saddling them with labels . . . these methods don’t work. In fact, they’re terribly and irrevocably harmful.
Decide that the buck stops with you.
They really are worth it.
PS – If teaching has become stressful for you, check out my new book Unstressed: How to Teach Without Worry, Fear, and Anxiety.
Also, if you haven’t done so already, please join us. It’s free! Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week.
Hi Michael, I LOVED the last few years of my teaching career, because your classroom management plan really works 99.9% of the time. I did have a student like the above, I did calmly give the “card”and walk away. He did nothing but complain and moan and carry on for the whole rest of the lesson. He would keep quiet for a couple minutes and then start all over again. I was seriously at my wits end. COVID then hit and the school was closed. I don’t remember seeing him again in the few months left of my teaching career, once school reopened. Thank you for your awesome plan and fantastic ideas.
Thank you for this helpful advice. I will definitely try this starting Monday. My one question is, what about the student who then keeps saying “I didn’t do it!” Over and over and over until he or she gets me to react? Do I follow through with the next consequence or continue ignoring?
So, so needed. I already practice this, and it’s because of you, and it works. Thank you, Michael.
What if, as I work in a design and technology workshop, it is unsafe to leave them to cool down and refuse to leave the workshop. Our senior staff take ages to come over / or don’t turn up at all.
PS it’s a shame I cannot get your book over here in the UK where we are mostly all stressed out by behaviour. Often, everything is pushed back on the teachers and the parents don’t care.
Depending on the situation, I might walk over to the posted rules, point silently to the one that applies, perhaps shrug and use body language while looking at the student to “say” well that’s the rule, and then continue teaching without any further comment. If he is particularly confrontational, I might instead do all that, but look out at the class in general, letting my gaze rest on a few students (perhaps choosing some of the friends of the first kid) and not at all directly at him. This “says” we all know what the rule is, don’t we? Instead of me vs. the student, it’s the weight of the whole class on the student.
“I might walk over to the posted rules, point silently to the one that applies, perhaps shrug and use body language while looking at the student to “say” well that’s the rule, and then continue teaching without any further comment.”
This is awesome. I’m a sub. Tomorrow the first thing I’m going to do is locate where the rules/expectations are posted in the classroom. (So I can walk over and point silently to the rule that applies.) Thanks!
Glad it helped!
Hello.
You just described my student. Never takes responsibility for anything. Phone calls and emails home result in excuse-making and “our child told us that it was because someone else…”
I need a list of reasonable consequences; and should consequences be immediate?
I have been a long-time devotee to your approach. It works wonders. But your dismissive attitude towards disabled children leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach. Do disabled children benefit from high expectations and consistently? Absolutely. But their challenges are real. And often enormous. They are deserving of our compassion along with our consistency and high expectations. In fact, without giving compassion and respect for their challenges, we cannot expect them to respect us enough to follow our expectations. Understanding a child’s struggles does not equal pandering or excusing.
Hi Liz,
The student(s) described in the article are not disabled.
So, when you get to the point of lunch detentions, am the principal rescinds them because she doesn’t wish to negatively impact the students chance of going on the field trip, and directs you not to write so many referrals during field trip seasons….but we have the rules of no suspension and no more than one referral so those on the field trip can enjoy the field trip. What do you do when the principal backs you up? And yes, if I teach full time, it won’t be at this school. I am currently a long term sub that took over in March.
For me enforcement has mostly been a logistical issue. In the moments where I’d need to be consistent I simply can’t keep track of all the behaviors, others start misbehaving more quietly and then I’m being unfair. What would you do? Pre-fill letters home for everyone with date, name, signature (dangerous) and lay them out in front of me so it doesn’t take that much time if it’s needed? Recess is short, a different class starts 5 minutes later and I have them once a week.
It’s good to be confirmed that these kids aren’t being told “no” at home. When I call parents they sometimes tell me they’re being treated very similarly by their youngsters. Which leaves me thinking, how am I to fix that in 90 minutes a week? Other classes are great, one can see the difference.
What do you do when after you walk away, the student gets up and follows you around the room still arguing they didn’t do anything? How can I ignore them and continue the lesson. When I ask them to sit down, I have to ask 4 times before they respond. Then they slowly make their way to their seat.
This 100 percent. I had one two years ago who got out of her seat and followed me around the room pleading her case. I continued to ignore or gently say my consequence again. Kept following me around trying to get a reaction.
Hi Michael! Your methods are totally life changing! It is clear to me that this particular situation that you describe must be modeled at the beginning of the year, as it is an all-too-familiar remark made by many youngsters after they have been called out for their rule infraction–“But I didn’t do anything, you clueless teacher!!” I would create the very same scenario and allow several students the opportunity to react in this way and demonstrate my response as the teacher. As you might imagine, this little “play” will become very amusing for the students and they should be able to see how childish this behavior is. (I can “see” at least one student hamming it up by pounding the floor and pulling out their hair!) It will leave an impression on most all students and plant the seed in their minds that this response is for BABIES, not “big kids like us!” On the flip side, how to accept the consequences of one’s actions must also be modeled. This is a good time to teach what it means to be humble and contrite and how our body language shows these important character traits.
I love this idea for pre-teaching/modeling this exact response. This has been my best year of teaching ever, and I really attribute much of the success I’ve had with the intensive work I did in the first few weeks of school. My middle school students LOVED modeling scenarios. This, plus consistency plus building that relationship (“I am an adult who cares about you and will keep my word”).
What about the student with a 504 plan and is allowed extra time ?
This is totally spot on! For all my (40+) years in the classroom, I have been nothing but consistent in enforcing the rules. I can’t claim that my classrooms have always been the modicum of calm and order, or that things go well 100% of the time. Nevertheless, here’s how I know that calm consistency is the best approach: I frequently run into former students. Some enthusiastically claim that I was their best teacher ever. Which students are these? The ones who gave me the most trouble. The ones who argued, pushed back, behaved rudely, put me through the wringer and more. But when I bump into them as adults, they sing my praises. At first, this baffled me because I would have thought that I’d be a hated monster in their eyes. After all, they constantly suffered the consequences of their behavior. Yet, they remember me fondly. And to tell you the truth, I couldn’t be prouder when I see them in their places of employment as contributing members of society.
My nervous system is better for having read and start to practice the methods here. I am MUCH more consistent than I ever was, but I see the holes in my approach.
How do you suggest recovering, fixing or reasserting a plan after I have shown a lack of integrity? I have some ideas, but am feeling unsure!
Hi Joe,
Here are a couple articles that may help:
https://smartclassroommanagement.com/2017/12/09/how-to-start-over-in-three-steps/
https://smartclassroommanagement.com/2022/03/18/how-restart-your-consistency/
Thank you so much for this method to handle yelling kid’s. I have one in my class and I believe this method will work for me.