In the eyes of students, the following are lies:
You have class rules, but don’t always follow them.
You preach kindness, but don’t practice it yourself.
You have deadlines, but accept late work.
You promise interesting lessons, but don’t deliver.
You teach routines, but ignore shoddy performance.
To an adult, they may not seem blatant or purposeful or to even rise to the level of real lies. I’ve heard teachers describe them as oversights, mistakes, or white lies.
But what we think is irrelevant.
To students they’re bald-faced. They’re obvious, predictable, and shameless. This is all that matters. Thus, engaging in them, as many teachers are wont to do, is a huge mistake.
Here’s why:
Trust
If you say you’ll do something and don’t do it, then your students won’t trust you.
Attentiveness
If your students don’t believe your word is golden, then they’ll stop listening to you.
Leadership
No one will ever look up to or follow someone who lies to them.
Respect
A lack discipline to follow through shows a level of weakness that destroys respect for you.
Presence
Once students learn you’re a push-over, or all talk and no action, they’ll behave as if you don’t exist.
Influence
The less you matter to your students, and the lighter the weight to your word, the less influence you have.
Teaching
If you’re viewed as less than truthful, then even the veracity of your lessons will be called into question.
So, Change
It’s common for teachers to struggle in the areas above and not know why. They either legitimately have no idea or think that shading the truth is just something adults do.
They think kids either won’t notice, won’t care, or “wink, wink” know how the game works.
This is an erroneous belief and a total misunderstanding of what motivates students to listen, learn and behave.
Although it’s always been important, being a straight shooter with students is especially paramount in this day and age.
You will not succeed if your words and actions don’t match.
The good news is that students are forgiving and will quickly adjust and turn the page. You can change today.
No white lies, no shading the truth, no kinda-sortas.
Instead, be utterly honest, transparent, and reliable and the way students respond to you will be completely transformed.
If you haven’t done so already, please join us. It’s free! Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week.
Brilliant as ever
My problem was administration. They would say one thing, plan something and not follow through.
So true. I teach kindergarten. One of the rules in my classroom is that we use inside voices. I have had to apologize to students for breaking our classroom rules at times when I have raised my voice. I tell them how it is a class rule that we use inside forces and I messed up by not doing that myself. I talk to them about how we all have to follow directions… Even as grown-ups.
Just the reminder I needed before Christmas break. I tend to “lighten up” toward my older kids (6th graders). Time to follow the plan-today!
I think that we all tend to “lighten up” at this time of the year. We have had some time to built a relationship with our students, and they know what is expected of them to a some extent. Our rules and strategies tend to be most consistently implemented and emphasized at the begininng of the academic year. If we lighten up a little it is because we know we can and we just need a little reminder. Thank you for the reminder and mentioning that is never too late to change.