Several years ago, a colleague confided in me that she was afraid to hold her students accountable because she was convinced that they would hate her for it.
Some of her students were taller than her and looked like adults, which may have been a factor.
However, I’ve had the same conversation with elementary teachers and have discussed this phenomenon dozens of times with teachers of every age group as part of my personal coaching practice.
I pleaded with this teacher. I really did. I implored her to trust me and went into great detail explaining the high school plan and how enforcing accountability can be a painless process.
But she was reluctant.
Beyond the fear, there was also her belief that her students would appreciate her if she let them off the hook. “These are kids,” I told her.
Indeed, it would be nice if it worked that way. Alas, without accountability, misbehavior and chaos will reign.
Our conversation was early in the school year and she was new to teaching high school. I’d see her around campus over the following months. She’d say hello and tell me that things were fine.
But I knew that unless she had changed, it couldn’t possibly be true.
Sure enough, I began hearing rumblings that misbehavior was becoming severe under her watch. Some students were leaving her room and wandering campus.
There were fights. Her students would ignore her lessons and play music in class.
Hat in hand, she came to me for advice once again. She wanted to know how she could turn it around. We had the same discussion we had months before. I went over the plan. I explained how to start over. I offered to help her every step of the way.
She was determined this time. She acknowledged that she wasn’t long for the school if she couldn’t get it together.
I didn’t hear from her directly for several weeks. We’d say hello same as always and she would tell me that things were better. “Better” usually isn’t a good sign.
If she were really following the plan, she would have said that things were tough at first and that there was a lot of pushback (because she had started so late in the school year), but she finally had control.
So I knew. Sure enough the rumor mill revealed that the principal had put her on an improvement plan. The chaos had continued.
A few weeks before the end of the school year she told me that she wasn’t being asked back for the following year. She was regretful. I felt terrible, but there wasn’t much I could say.
The truth is, there is no other way. There is no secret permissive or consequence-free strategy. There is no alternative to clear, firm, and consistent accountability. There is no hiding from the fear.
It must be confronted and overcome.
And no amount of bribery, flattery, or faux friendship with students will change it.
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I give that good teacher my full support and best wishes to recover from such a horrible and unnecessary experience, and to stand tall and continue to follow Michael’s advice and programs.
Sounds like the root problem was a weak principal and weak admin. that are “afraid” of the students not liking THEM and thus not giving their support and backing to good teachers in such a hostile environment. As a sub, I have encountered similar situations, and, every time, there was a weak unsupportive principal just collecting a paycheck as the root cause. Certainly, teachers must be strong, too, but it takes a supportive admin at the foundation, to recognize that schools are to be places of learning— not a playground.
David, I absolutely agree with you. Those weak headteachers are a plaque in England. They seem not to care for their staff because they know they can get new people who, most of the time, do not have full teaching qualifications and do not know how to teach and keep discipline. Clearly, a change in the hiring of teachers must happen soon or the system will collapse.
DITTO! As a teacher with 20 years of experience I have seen a lot and the last few years have been extremely difficult for the above reason but I was blamed. I have taken classes right back to basics to make change. But without admin support it will not work. We burn out and end up with our well-being affected. I recently watched a teacher have to leave due to excessive behaviour issues and I told that teacher to remind herself “it is not you”. Parents and students need to be accountable – not us. We are educators not secretaries, not councillors, not the parents, not admin, and the list goes on but that is what we are expected to be.
As chair of our department we had an adjunct teacher who came to a meeting and as we were discussing grades the teacher said, “Oh, I can’t fail my students they would hate me!” I told the teacher that you are not there to be their friend but their teacher! Said teacher was NOT rehired after that!
Unfortunately how most colleges in USA work is that retention on teacher for future employment is based on student evaluations. Most students have NO idea of what makes a good teacher. So many new adjuncts are scared of grading correctly because students might give them low evaluations.
My school does these same anonymous surveys with our middle school students. Some teachers hand out candy and tell the kids to write nice things about them. Some teachers get called all sorts of horrible names because they hold students accountable for their behavior. It’s so awful.
100 percent agree. Calm. Consistent. Consequences. Same with parenting btw
Thanks for this topic. I notice that this type of mindset of trying to keep students happy and being a “cool” teacher is part of American education system I find very hard to change. I work at s school with many foreign teachers and I don’t see them having this issue of fear of not being liked by their students. American culture sadly created this phenomen.
Sadly I believe this be an American phenomenon mostly. Being a cool teacher is something we are encouraged to strive for… It’s part of our affinity for celebrity culture I believe.
I work with mainly foreign born teachers and this issue has not come up. They don’t hesitate to give consequences. They focus on the academics more than other areas. We sometimes focus too much on not “hurting” our students feelings to the point we give up our authority which is really meant for their protection. Also being afraid of parents and being a buddy with them rather than being professional and honest with them.
These are all great points.
I can certainly identify with this current article. On the topic of being afraid, I was teaching Middle School and High School at a private school and have just been terminated. The rationale given was fabricated! I believe the Headmaster succumbed to demanding parents who fell victim to several complaining students whose performance was well below academic and behavioral expectations. The Headmaster was told by a specific group of parents that unless she terminated me, they were going to pull their students out of the school! I concluded from her actions that she was afraid not to comply!
I could list the many rude behaviors of the students as well as their low academic Standards but I’m sure you and your readers are fully aware of student disrespect and lack of interest in academic achievement. I’m an experienced teacher and I can honestly say I’m glad to be gone from a school where intimidation reigns.
I have been using your methods for 3 years now and each year I have a few more parents who fight it. This is sadly becoming worse and worse every year as parents don’t want their children held accountable. Ideas for that?
However, while I may not be as consistent as I should with warnings, I am really good now at keeping an even temperament and being pleasant.
Here is a win I had. I woke up sick one morning and had to get a last minute sub. I had to just put it in the system and hope it was picked up, which it was. Once my sub plans were done I was able to take care of myself and return the next day. My sub had left a glowing report. She said that in the past she was an instructional coach and would love to come in and see my classroom managament practices because she had never taught such a well behaved class before. They were respectful from beginning to end! What an amazing start to my day back! Thank you for giving us an opportunity to learn your methods.
Yes, it can be a difficult feeling when students are large and disruptive. I just say make a plan as soon as possible. My time is running short today.
As an elementary teacher, who works at a virtual academy, the challenge I face are the parents. I have 30 students and their parents in the background in class with me. Fun times. What I had to learn is to forget about them and do the teaching that needs to happen. Hold the students accountable and teach. Once I learned to do that, things got easier. I don’t need the parents happy, I need their students to be successful at grade level.
I just kept reading your articles and applying consistent expectations. I floundered in year one, and two, but I improved and now in my 5th year, I no longer worry about helicopter parents. My job is to teach, and good fences make for good neighbors. I owe my progress to following Smart Classroom Management, where I re-learned what I already knew works – consistent, fair, accountable boundaries for all learners, despite what trends exist out there, or what parents think about rigor and learning. Thank you for reaffirming that message daily in a world of permissiveness that is lacking in accountability.
This year I had 3 families who requested to be in my class because students are engaged and learning, they want to participate, and do their best. Thank you for all you do to promote and encourage us.