Here at SCM, we get many questions about the letter-home consequence.
For the uninitiated, a letter home to parents can be part of the third consequence of the elementary classroom management plan that we recommend.
The key word is ‘can.’ You see, it’s an optional part of the plan.
The reason we include is because it’s especially effective. Done right, a thrice-misbehaving student must present and then articulate to their parents their rule-breaking behavior.
It’s a deep level of accountability that has proven to be a game-changer. Yes, even with “parents who don’t care.” However, it’s not for every teacher.
There are conditions that must be met. Otherwise, it can be a disaster. You could get angry complaints from parents, letters torn up and thrown away, and a visit from your administrator.
In order to avoid such a fate, it’s important to clear up some misconceptions. What follows are a few critical points/conditions of the letter-home consequence that should be met before using the strategy.
You must be well-versed in SCM and reliably consistent.
You must be an established veteran of at least two years at your school.
You must have an excellent reputation among parents and school community.
Your students must trust you and enjoy being in your class.
Your students must know exactly what does and doesn’t break your rules.
You must explain the letter and provide a sample at back-to-school night.
You must teach and model what students must do if they receive a letter.
You must initially send a heads-up email (or phone call) along with the letter.
These points/conditions have been covered here at SCM in the past. However, they’re in several different areas of the website, which I believe has lead to some of the confusion.
There are also teachers who hear of the idea and run with it without learning the details.
Nonetheless, one way to know if you’re on the right track is if you’re only sending a few letters per month. When I used the strategy for 12 years as an elementary teacher, I’d send a half dozen or so a year.
Another bad sign is if you don’t get a letter back. In every case, this because of one of the conditions above hasn’t been adequately met.
In lieu of a letter home, and until you feel confident you’ve locked down each of the conditions, it’s perfectly okay to send an email or call parents directly instead.
The chief reason we recommend parent contact at all is because we believe strongly that if a child has chosen to misbehave three or more times in a single day after having a clear understanding of the rules, then parents have a right to know.
The most effective, honest, and responsible way to do this is to through a non-judgemental form letter the misbehaving but now contrite student must give their parents—who know exactly what the letter is and what it means.
In this way, the letter-home consequence is extremely effective and will raise maturity, behavior, and responsibility class-wide.
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Thank you for sharing this letter-home strategy. This is something that I would definitely consider before sending a letter home.
I agree with you that the number of letters you send home to parents relating to bad behaviour should be minimal. The more letters sent home by the teacher could be a sign that behaviour in the classroom is not what it should be.
This list gave me a lot to think about and I asked myself how many of the items on this list I overlooked. Having a list like this certainly gives me as a teacher an opportunity to perform my own introspection before I send a letter-home.
Do you have an example of this letter? 🙂
There is a sample letter if you dig around his other blog posts. Try the search feature.
Click the link within the article that says “sample letter.”
So if I want to completely understand all the aspects of the classroom management system, which book would you recommend I read?
Start with “Inspire”. It gives an overview of the guiding principles behind the system. It’s concise and easy to read. Then I’d turn to “The Smart Classroom Management Way”, which is more of a step-by-step guide to walking out the principles. As a devoted SCM follower, those are the two I always point people to first! 🙂
Hello, this year I’m teaching in a new school, so I’m not an established veteran of two years at this school. What third consequence should I implement if you don’t recommend the letter home as the parents don’t know me yet?
Last year I was also in a new school and I started with the SCM plan in the second semester. It worked really well and the parents already supported me.
I would be thankful about any advice!
Hi Laura,
Email or phone contact with parents.
I have initially had a few more letters at the beginning of the year. These have been for kids who constantly blurt or talk out loud. So many teachers don’t respond to the constant talking over others, that they have been “trained” that it is okay to make out-loud comments to everything. I have had a couple parents get very upset, but I keep at the message that the child CAN get a hold on this, that I don’t consider their child, “bad”, and that we all are simply trying to change a habit that doesn’t work in a learning environment, or any large group meeting. I stress that the the bluting habit in particular will cause social problems later in life. AND I stress to the kids that is is simply a habit they have, that they are not “bad”, but the habit doesn’t work well in a learning environment. I share stories of kids who have changed it in the past. I do the same with the parents… the rules/consequences really help make a person more respectful in general, which is helpful in the big picture. Also, if a child learns to acknowledge a non-helpful habit, own it, and then is able to work to change it, they become very self-empowered. I frame it this way, “Wow, it is hard to change a habit, but look…. you DID IT!” They end up feeling very good about themselves, at a deep level instead of manipulated by extrinsic rewards and punishments.
Hi Michael, thank you for writing this. I am a big fan and have read two of your books “The Classroom Management Secret” and “The Happy Teacher Habits”.
I can’t seem to find the answer to what do you do after you have given the “write to parent” or “letter home” consequence, that the student, or group of students continue to disturb your teaching. (for example they say, they don’t care). This is just in the beginning, when you haven’t built rapport yet, and you can’t get any teaching done because they don’t respect anyone.
Hi Taylor,
They cycle back to time-out for every consequence after a warning.
Thanks Michael, but what if you have 5-6 students who are disturbing? If you move them to time out they keep talking there.
This means you’ve lost control and your whole-class classroom management must be better. There are many, many articles on this topic and what you need to do to fix it. When you get a chance, use the search bar at the top of any page.