If you get annoyed when your students misbehave, then it’s going to lead to more misbehavior.
Even if you don’t say a word. Your sighs, facial expressions, and body language reveal all there is to know about what’s roiling inside.
Students prey upon emotionally weakened teachers like jackals on the hunt.
A harsh characterization, perhaps, but a truthful one—especially since the pandemic. Show your class they can get under your skin, and they’ll come at you from all sides and when you least expect it.
The most common form is disrespect.
But they’ll also challenge your authority, ignore your directions, and collude with others to misbehave at the same time.
The most accurate sign that your students have gotten to you is when you try to hold them accountable and they lie to you. They know they’re caught. They know they did wrong and broke the rules of the class.
But they decide to battle with you anyway. They know how deeply it affects you and wager that you’ll cave and say, “Okay, just be careful next time.” —Or some other marshmallow-soft declaration of surrender.
By then of course the floodgates have opened.
Even students who normally wouldn’t misbehave but are nonetheless hoping to impress their mates will get in on the action. Trying to enforce consequences becomes a war of wills.
“What did I dooooo?!”
“Tell me why!”
“I didn’t even do anything!”
“He didn’t do anything!”
“Oh my gosh!”
They’ll make you regret even trying. Oh, they’ll head to time-out, perhaps. But they’ll increase their disruptions. They’ll dramatically tsk and tsk in the way gen-Z kids do. They’ll get others to join in.
You may even feel as if your students are wresting control of the class from you.
So, what’s the solution?
It’s to remove all burden of misbehavior off of yourself and direct its weight fully and 100 percent onto your students. They misbehaved, not you. Ergo, you must refuse absolutely to take on any of its load, stress, or strain.
The one and only way to do this is to allow your classroom management plan to do the dirty work for you. Let it step in and be your accountability czar.
Your job is twofold:
1. Teach your plan and make sure your students know it precisely.
2. Follow it every time and as written.
The relationship between you and your classroom management plan is distant. In fact, you have very little to do with it. Once it’s taught, you just follow it. That’s it. You’re merely a referee, calling em’ like you see em’ and doing as you promised.
Likewise, student misbehavior also has little connection to you.
You’re just fulfilling your promise to protect their right to learn and enjoy being in your class. And you will, no matter what, like a mama bear protecting her cubs.
No arguing. No explaining. No bargaining, negotiating, or discussing. They misbehave or they don’t. They breach the garrison that defends teaching and learning or they don’t.
It’s all on them.
Dump all of your annoyance, frustration, and distress over misbehavior onto your classroom management plan. Let it go. It’s the most powerful and freeing (and fair) thing a teacher can do.
The lightness you’ll feel will translate into greater enjoyment of your job, better lessons, and stronger relationships with students.
Most of all, however, is that once you’ve proven that you’re just the messenger, defender exemplar, and one and only leader of the classroom, your students will become transformed. Respect and appreciation for you will blossom.
You’ll be free to focus on the good stuff. The lessons. The passion for your subject. The rapport. The humor. The laughter and the stories.
When students do misbehave, when they do cross the line, they’ll know it. They can feel it like a puppy testing an invisible fence. Shivers down the spine, a wayward plane over the sea.
And they know you’ll be right there like a drone dropping down from the sky. No anger. No sense of revenge or relish. No desire, need, or reason to battle. Just accountability.
“You have a warning because you broke rule number one.”
A turn of the heel and you’re gone.
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This is great at the end of first nine weeks. They did this on early dismissal day. My rest of the day was a mess. They are untamed like wild horses who obey rules after broken into. But, this has to be done with kindness ,not revenge. Applaud them with positive reinforcement.
This is excellent, thank you. 😊
Thank you for the reminder, Michael. This is so difficult to do when period after period, day after day, the students come after you even after implementing your plan. Unfortunately, we are not allowed to take grading points away for behavior, but I follow it to a “T.” Nothing fazes my students…not low grades, not lunch detention, or even in-house suspension. Our admin is in a quandary as well.
I have definitely noticed an increase in the number of students who are seemingly unphased by consequences,
even the more serious ones.
“Ohhhh, you’re gonna call my mom? Bet! I’ll dial her number for you! She ain’t gonna do s**t!”
“Nah, I aint trippin over 3 days ISS — that’s a 3-day vacation!”
I am sorry you are going thru this. I am going thru the exact same thing. I sometimes even cry after the period this occurs. I have a classroom management plan but it’s like the kids don’t care and just ask disruptive when they feel like it. Parents don’t do anything even when I contact them. It’s sad.
Thank you
Please give specific examples of student misbehaving and how to handle it
Very difficult to not get emotional when teaching subjects that generate passion snd emotion
Also. When teachers don’t get consistency and support from administration
“ oh let students enter class late”
Does not help with lesson disruptions
What an amazing read by far! I definitely needed to read this today, and that i did so look forward for this positive out look on Monday with my kiddos.
Hi Michael,
High school English teacher, here, and I have come under the dazed and quiet group when I am teaching and ask for a response….I just realized something as I write this: They don’t answer because they DON’T FOLLOW what I’m putting down! I allowed their quiet demeanor to frustrate me and told them they had 10 minutes next class to finish the writing assignment. On Monday, I will apologize and re-teach the essential parts, check for understanding, and have them submit something more simple. A win-win: They will have achieved success and they will “get” what I taught. Whew. Thanks for letting me journal here! haha
I left the profession about a year and a half ago, largely because of increasing anger, frustration and stress due to (some) students challenging my authority endlessly. Went back at the beginning of this month part-time, to give it another chance.
Wow! Things are completely different now. Admin spearheaded a new consistency among all staff, streamlining the behaviour expectations and corresponding consequences (and rewards, in some cases).
I am blown away by the difference this has made. It’s fun and rewarding to teach now, as discipline is no longer something personal, but has become a matter of objective facts rather than emotions, arguing, and caving.
I teach a fifth class grade and have my students all day. I successfully have been using the plan for 5-6 years. Issuing a warning is often wordless, since I use warning cards when a warning is needed. The cards are index cards cut in half. Each card has a label (1 – Listening/Focus …) I walk past, slip the card on the desk while continuing to teach. I bought a business card holder with several slots, so they are readily accessible. (When we are on the move, a verbal warning is given and recorded.) This delivery system works well for fifth grade because the cards act as a visual reminder – especially for students with focus and blurt issues throughout the day. The students return them to me at dismissal. Using them with older students probably wouldn’t be as successful.
This is interesting. Would you be willing to share more detail for this system or direct me to a source? I teach 5th but am moving back to 4th and I would like to refresh my usual system depending on the students I get this school year!
I’ve set my class procedures, but I’m not sure I totally understand what your solution is if they don’t follow. Maybe I need to tell them what will happen if they misbehave. I feel like all I’ve done is say what I expect, but not say the consequences. If a child continues to argue, talkback, or do whatever they want to do, I remind him he made a choice and the consequence will be no book or drawing at recess (something he loves). Do you mean, say the consequences and follow through and don’t get frustrated? Easier said than done!
My understanding is to definitely communicate the consequences when you’re establishing your management plan at start of year. My consequences,following the initial warning, were a time out ( ie walking with a yard duty teacher (with whom you communicate about the situation) at play time) and then for further breaches of the plan ,a telephone call to their parent/guardian.
More of a question as I’m not a classroom teacher rather a school counselor who only gets to go in once a month to teach a lesson with the middle school students. I get the importance of relationship, expectations etc…., but how to stick to it when I have such little time to deliver my lessons and I feel what I’m teaching is so important…..and I spend a decent amount of time thinking about how to teach in a way that is interactive and “fun”.
I continue to look for a solution to a very specific problem in my 6th grade classroom, and I always come here first. Some students make noises during instruction either with their chrome books or their mouths, and I can’t tell who is doing it. If I freeze all tabs on the CB’s they resort to noise making with their mouths. My classroom management plan is solid, but I don’t know how to handle this. Please help!
I am a 28 year teacher. The way I deal with sounds is a game changer. I do NOT try to find who did it. Instead, I say, “The class just lost 10 seconds for whoever is making that noise.” The class will initially try to place blame, “Nancy! Stop doing that!” I ignore these blurts, or I will calmly say, “We are a team. We are in this together.” Then I move on.
Obviously, I teach this first. We brainstorm what our classroom should sound like. They know if they blurt out some tik tok nonsense (whistle, water bottle crunching, whatever!), the whole class is penalized.
I take the time away from recess. We line up outside (because I have yard duty), and I set a timer. Every time someone makes a noise the time starts over. The first time I do this, I do plan on them missing most of recess. They think I won’t stick to it, but I will.
I hope this helps!
Getting annoyed is part of being human. Whether it is the administration who do not do their job and support teachers or parents who only see you as a baby sitter, there are times when the student’s behavior just reaches a point of no return. You need to react. But how you react is important and can set the tone for future interactions.
But I have seen behavior from students who disrupt the class (It is like they get up in the morning and plan their day around how to disrupt the class.) and motivate others students to push the limits. MIKE GETS TO MISBEHAVE. MAYBE I CAN TOO.
Hi Michael, This is a wonderful reminder! Thank you! Would you be willing to add a few more examples of teacher responses to misbehavior? You ended your article with one example, but could you add a few more for when students maybe disregard the warning about breaking rule X. What do you say next at the second or third offense? I would really appreciate hearing more concrete examples for teachers to use in the classroom. Thanks for considering my request. Keep up the good work!
Nice to hear about admin not just recognizing that student behavior is a major issue, but also being willing to actually take *actionable* steps & support teachers in holding students accountable.
I agree that it would be nice to see more examples of escalating ladders of consequences !
Great article! (But those are wolves, not jackals.)
Maybe I overlooked it in my search through your archives but I would like some advice on dealing with students in middle and high school for substitute teachers. I am with these students one day and they think I have no authority over them. I tell them at the beginning of each class, that I am there to teach in place of their regular teacher. I expect them to work hard and if so we will have some fun towards the end of class. If they act up and don’t treat me with the respect they give other adults, they will be referred for detention. I am not a glorified baby sitter and I expect them to act their age. I explain that they get 2 warnings—first I go to their desk and tell them to cool it, 2nd warning I come get their name. 3rd should not happen but if they keep it up, I will refer them to detention.
These students are disrespectful and call me by my first name and act like I have no authority at all. I had 6 students referred to detention from middle school because my management did not work. Please address what subs are supposed to do.
Good article. It is my experience, understanding and belief that the classroom management plan and accountability are key factors to not getting annoyed with students. The students and you need to know and understand the why and how of a classroom management plan. It has as the main function of establishing and maintain a smooth, free flowing learning environment where there are not any distractions while learning is in progress. You will find that most students want learning to happen every moment. You must understand that at any moment there may be an underling reason the student can’t at that moment and finds a measure to act out that inability and it is often annoying or disappointing. A common example: Students are sometimes too tired, stressed or hungry. Their response may be incorrect. What do you do? Do not get annoyed. Stay calm and refer to the management plan. You may even plan to discuss what to do when this happens.
It isn’t the students so much that I get “annoyed” with…but the parents. This year I have three students who were “highly recommended” to repeat Kindergarten. Parents refused, one saying, “well, her little friends are going on, and we are friends with her parents. That would be awkward”… so now these students sit in the class without a clue as to even the names of the letters or sounds. I send home papers with requests to help the child at home, sign and return…just to cover myself, but nothing seems to shake them up. My heart is breaking for these little ones. Retention is not something any educator recommends lightly. It is very serious, and only done when it is apparent that the child is not prepared for the next grade. I’ve recommended tutoring, playing various games at home, web sites that are “fun”…all to no avail on the parents’ part.
This is great! Thank you for the reminder. Fr being a MS/HS teacher for years and now an elementary specials teacher who is on a cart and travelers to the teachers classroom each day and has about 800 students a week…any suggestions would be great 🙂