There is a choice you can make today that will insulate you from all school-related drama and politics. It will also transform how your colleagues view you.
I must emphasize that it is a liberating choice, a glorious choice, a choice that will improve your daily teaching experience tenfold.
However, it’s not for everyone.
You see, there are teachers who can’t live without the tension, the backbiting, the gossip, and the scheming. They revel in climbing an imaginary strata of power and reputation. A small minority, such people can be found in every organization, education or otherwise.
The problem is that they pull everyone else into the same vortex. Though you may go kicking and screaming (and venting to your family), you feel as if you have to take part just to survive.
You have to watch your back, build alliances, and defend your record. You have to calculate the words you use or hold your tongue or work the angles.
It’s exhausting. Think of how much easier teaching would be if your classroom was your only focus. You could go about your day above the fray and without even an awareness of the machinations going on around you.
The truth is you can with one simple choice.
It’s a choice that takes discipline and a rejection of your baser instincts. But it’s so, so good. In fact, my promise to you is that it will make you freer and more joyful.
So what is this choice?
It’s to let it all go. It’s to jettison your ego, your reputation, and your concern about what anyone ever thinks about you. It’s to not allow any attachment. No string. No scent. No vapor leaking into the maelstrom.
Poof. Gone. Out of sight and mind. Major Tom floating in space. Oh, the lightness you’ll feel. But this isn’t the only benefit. You see, when you stand apart from the scrum, others will take notice. And they’ll respect you deeply for it.
As long as you maintain your pleasantness and politeness, you need never to get dragged in.
Some helpful guidelines:
Keep your professional distance.
Never take criticism personally.
Treat everyone with the same kindness.
Don’t try to look good.
Share your best stuff.
Speak sparingly.
Be humble.
Concentrate on your students.
Be impossible to offend.
Take the high road.
Stay busy.
Keep secrets.
Don’t gossip.
Take one for the team.
Put yourself last.
Funny thing, though: The last shall be first. The egoless becomes the leader. Seeking no reputation builds reputation.
The one who doesn’t boast or climb or need is set apart, held up, untouchable and left alone to remain above the boiling stew.
If you’re reading this right now, you’re doing so for a reason. You’re being called I believe to be a leader of a different kind. You’re being called to be a leader by example and mystery.
—A leader released of the suffering of pridefulness, swellheadedness, and the constant strive for elevation. Driven instead by self-mastery, excellence, cordiality, and the intrinsic satisfaction of a job well done.
Nothing more, nothing less.
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Anybody who just read the post above should read Jocko Willik’s book called Extreme Ownership….it’s all about how you can develop as a leader.
Thanks for the book recommendation!
Thanks for the book recommendation. I will read it for sure.
Eloquent Michael! This is my goal for the coming year and beyond! Thank you! 😊
A super read and a great reminder for me, thank you! During the pandemic I was at a school that definitely had the characteristics that you describe and while I did keep my distance, it was a lonely feeling (I find people kept their distance too when we won’t engage in the gossip) . Still I completely agree 100% and plan to write out these bullet points you’ve made as a personal challenge and reminder to take a higher road. I also plan to give your tips to my nieces when they graduate from teachers’ college. Its even harder in this day and age to stand apart as we are so often then labelled as so many things. One day at a time! Thank you again for all you do Michael!
Thanks Michael. It is exhausting. I struggled so much this year with feeling like I was going to middle school every day with the teacher cliques, gossip, and popularity contests, rather than a professional teaching job. Your article provides needed encouragement and tangible advice for how to choose better and do better.
Love it!
Difficult, but necessary.
Wonderful advice, down to earth and preserves everyone, especially ourselves.
Thank you so much for all these years of Smart Classroom Management.
It’s been great!
Wishing you some good and restful holidays!
Have you been reading The Sermon on the Mount recently? I like it! Thanks for the solid counsel.
They call me anti-social Annie in my school because I try to be like the person you are describing. I was starting to think I should change my ways and get involved in the drama. Nope! I’m sticking with Annie 😁👍🏼
Correction: You have to watch “your” back
Thanks for sharing this knowledge. I have gained a lot tonight.
Thank you for this. Now I don’t feel like the exception. I experienced being the subject of gossip at a school where I used to teach. Apparently, one of the fringe benefits of losing weight is dealing with petty jealousy. I was among the last to learn that I was having an affair with another staff member. Even the principal admitted to me that she had believed (and spread) the rumor. At least, I’m not the only teacher who’s had to deal with that kind of workplace.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Great! Thanks!
Amen.
Colossians 3:23
New King James Version
23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,
That’s how we let it ALL go.
I absolutely love the concise bullet points you provided. It’s not a to do list, but a state of being that can be achieved in the day-to-day dance of being an educator.
Keep up the good work of mentorship and leadership that inspires so many!
Your articles must be some of the most useful and inspirational I’ve ever encountered. Thank you. I’ve been using your advice and I really love my job because of it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I am an elementry school principal and I absolutely loved the article I just read above! Question – how do you tell someone, never take criticism personally, if this is what they are feeling? One of my 5th grade teachers, who is older than most of the teachers on staff and she frequently comes to me to complain that the other teachers dont acknowledge or include her. She is a fantastic teacher who is so loved amongst her students…why is she taking it so personal about the other teachers not including her? They really are a great group of teachers, all so kind and giving..none of them are intentionally ignoring her, it is just the age gap… Hope you can share some insight on this… THANK YOU for all you are doing!
Forward this article to that teacher and it should become clear.
Thank you! I’ve always been a little bit of a shy outsider so games and gossip don’t come naturally to me. Now I will feel better about my personality, and practise what you so beautifully describe in this article, and do it with respect and understanding. Your work has meant so much to me as a teacher and also in my life over the years. Many, many, many thanks!
Thank you, Michael. This is ABSOLUTELY what I need to hear and live by right now in ALL areas of my complicated life.
God bless you VERY VERY much for your life-giving ministry to us all.
Thank you. I have definitely been embroiled in the drama this year. Thank you for your kind and timely advice, I will be coming back to this often!
Sage advice, Michael. This is why, as a school counselor, I prefer to eat with students or catch up on email when lunching. I find students are a breath of fresh air and provide more of a break than some adults, who in a roomful of people press to know what’s going on with “Susie,” etc. I hope your advice spreads far and wide. Gossiping, catty teachers who quickly forget the golden rule, can quickly erode staff morale and school climate .
If I may, I’d like to add one piece of practical advice:
Stay out of the teachers’ lounge.
In my experience, this is where all the complainers, gripers, and gossipers converge.
Michael, thank you for this edifying and timely exhortation to all of us who just engaged with your article. Thank you to each one of you for contributing.
As we reflect on the past year (as well as the couple of years before it), we all need to remember what inspired us to dedicate our lives to this vocation.
It is a calling. It can stir up beautiful creativity, exciting innovation, and memorable and meaningful experiences for the well-being of others.
Our reward is often celebrated in isolation, but there is a deep satisfaction in caring even when it seems no one else does.
May you all be able to reset, find a measure of rest, be restored, and be regenerated (as much as possible!) for the school year ahead.
Well said, CK.
Bless you, Michael. Your advice applies to all aspects of life. Bless you.
Amazing Micheal you hit the nail on the head !!!!!! How sad when the best part of our mental energy is drained by this exact nonsense and slander in staff rooms it is exhausting and draining!!! We would all benefit by keeping it professional all the time. You are an amazingly insightful educator with timely support. God bless
Helpful tips.Thanks!
So helpful! Thank you for writing this! I will re-read it often!
My question is if you would truly advise to let everything go and never confront it to put a stop to it. My own children attend my school and one colleague who had my children has spread the concept that I am a difficult parent loudly and widely – to the point that colleagues treat me differently. I was thinking to go to administration and ask them to intervene and put a stop to it, but this seems to suggest just completely letting it go and ignoring it? Thoughts?