So you’re cruising along having a good day and a student pokes you with a stick.
“What you said isn’t true.”
“Shelby didn’t deserve a consequence.”
“My old teacher did it this way.“
Statements like these, spoken with attitude, are meant to goad you into an argument. Why do students do this?
1. To test you.
2. To get you off track.
3. To wrest control of the classroom from you.
4. Just because.
It also works. After all, it’s only natural to defend yourself and want to prove your point. So you say your piece and they say theirs. Back and forth. Two equals having a petty disagreement.
—Which effectively gives license to every student in your class to do the same. Before you know it, you’re being challenged on all sides.
To avoid getting drawn into an argument takes responding in one of three ways.
1. Enforce
In order to get you to respond without thinking, a student will call out their argument starter without raising their hand.
This is very common.
In this case, it’s best not to address their comment at all. Simply enforce a consequence and move on. This is a powerful move that will almost always squash their challenge altogether—which is your goal.
Following through is also what you promised to your class.
2. Consider
If the student does raise their hand, you can just say, “Hmm, I’ll think about it. Thanks for your input.” Then immediately do it your way or continue on without another word.
Again, this sends the message that you’re in charge and make decisions that are best for the class.
You can also be more direct and say, “No thanks.” The key for both is to move on right away. Show no emotion. No sign of annoyance. No problema.
Let them assume that it’s such little consequence that you’ve already forgotten about it.
3. Listen
If you’ve been teaching a long time, chances are slim that a student will know something about your job better than you.
But it happens. Mistakes are made. If a student does contradict you or challenge you on something you hadn’t considered, or that could be valid, ask them to explain further. Just listen and see if there is something there.
If not, go back to number two above. If so, welcome it. Say, “Hey, that’s a good idea” or “Let me get back to you.”
Make it quick, then move on. In this way, you avoid the argument but maintain your open-mindedness and respect for a student who may have a good idea.
No More Battles
If a student tries to get under your skin, you must never, ever respond in kind.
A pause helps. Don’t answer at first. Bite your tongue and wait a few awkward seconds. Let their argument starter hang in the air like a bad curve ball.
Once you’ve decided on either number one, two, or three, say your peace and then turn your attention back to what you were doing without a second thought.
Handling it this way will effectively remove all arguments and challenges from your classroom. No more battles or disagreements or feeling as if you’re losing control of your class.
Just you being a good leader.
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Been following your advice and reading your books this entire school year. Thank you! Here’s something I’ve been wanting to ask. Our county gives every student a chrome book that they will keep until they graduate. My 6th graders use it to play really loud music when I try to say something. I can’t always tell which student(s) are doing it. All the students laugh. Also, most of my students still choose to wear masks even tho the school district lifted the mandate. They are making really loud noises (screaming,etc.) but I can’t tell whose doing it. How should I handle both of these?
Hi Nancy,
This is why I could never teach middle school, haha! Do you have a portal on your computer where you can see what everyone is doing on their Chromebooks? Can you disable Chromebooks from your computer? Maybe ask your IT person to work with you on that, because they should be able to set that up for you. You could disable all the Chromebooks until you have given your lesson and they actually need them. Or at least, can you require them to keep their Chromebooks closed during the lesson?
Michael doesn’t agree with this, but I’d be tempted to go to whole class consequences. You can’t have a class where students are screaming, playing music, etcz! If everyone is laughing, they are participating. I’d probably use a carrot and a stick for a few days. If there are ZERO interruptions, everyone gets a Jolly Rancher, for example. For every interruption, they write a paragraph on a certain topic. First offense, homework is writing one paragraph on Reconstruction (or whatever your subject is). Second offense, now your homework is two paragraphs, etc. Whomever doesn’t turn the assignment in the next day goes to ISS to write it (if your school allows that.) I think peer pressure would stop that within a week. I know it’s not fair to the good kids, but by making it subject related, the assignment benefits all students.
Again, I’m not a middle school teacher, but those are a couple of suggestions off the top of my head.
Nancy
That’s an excellent question. I too am very interested in the answer.
We use Hapara which allows me to view all of my students chromebooks. If they are doing something they’re not supposed to it’s very easy to catch. 1st offense – chromebook gone for the rest of class. 2nd offense – chromebook goes to VP & the student needs to have a meeting w the VP to get it back. Works pretty well.
Also, I’ve gotten away from students doing anything on the computer unless it’s absolutely necessary. Not in my nature since I’m a nerd, but old school generally works better. 99% of my classes never pull their computer out of their bag.
Hey Nancy,
I would be inclined to get all chrome books shut down and go over your rules around their use. If you don’t have specific rules then you can start by putting them in place. Be clear about the consequences of rule breaking.
Then when you restart your lesson, you can circulate and anyone who oversteps the rules receives your consequence – whatever it may be. They may even run the risk of not having the use of their chrome book for that lesson. Consistency is key though. If no volume is allowed then that’s what has to be followed through every lesson without exception. You may have to state that volume is only permitted if head phones are being worn. Good luck with this.
Dx
If you are trying to talk, have the students “tent” their devices. Some places call it “shark bite” or use other terms, but it’s all the same. Have students put the devices at 45 degree angles and turn them away from themselves. This prevents them from using the Chromebooks to drown out your voice. As for the masks, make sure you are in close proximity to the students as you address them. Stop, square up to them, try to determine students not screaming and laughing (to contact parents thanking them for respectful students), and contact parents of ones you KNOW are screaming and/or laughing. Either is disrespectful. If a parent doesn’t know, they can’t help fix the issue. Ask for the parents’ help in correcting the issue. Let them know that you realize they can’t help you if they don’t know the situation. I’ve found my parents want to help.
I’m hardly an expert, but if you genuinely can’t tell who is playing the music while you’re speaking, you could a) do random chrome book history checks (though it is possible for them to delete it), or b) limit the use of chrome books altogether. This class has chosen to use chrome books as a tool for disrespect instead of a tool for learning, we will learn in other ways until I see evidence of respect from our community, etc. That is, if you are able to according to district guidelines.A third option c), is to enforce them keeping them put away in backpacks, closed, etc while you are speaking/giving directions. Personally, I think it’s the most workable. Last option, and this isn’t my favorite in this circumstance, since you’re not sure who’s behind it, is a strategy my friend calls -take it back- anything they find funny isn’t so funny anymore when it’s turned back on them. Whenever someone speaks, play music while they’re speaking. It works really well with annoying behaviors, not necessarily disrespectful ones. I hope this is helpful.
I really am not sure how to address the screaming situation Specifically. Your best option might be time for a class reboot on expectations.
Hey Nancy! I teach middle school band/chorus/orchestra/theater. (I know… It’s a lot).
I’ve found that Chromebooks are the worst things for middle schoolers. This year I taught an ELA class as well when the teacher walked out at noon one day in October. Within 3 wks I’d banned all Chromebooks. They only had work on their Chromebooks if I was absent. *That’s it!* As for the masks, I’d use proximity. Teach class while roaming the room. You can usually narrow the list of students who are doing it. Separate them. Then it becomes much easier to identify who is doing what. After that, start following your school’s discipline process. Ours is warning, phone call home, team timeout (in partner teacher’s room to complete a behavior sheet), student removal. One day I had 5 students removed, but because I’d followed all the previous discipline steps, all 5 served 2 days ISS and it was a beautiful thing.
Hang in there!! Middle schoolers are the biggest pains in the world. 😜
Great advice, as always! As a long-term substitute teacher (high school), I ran into the “That’s not how Mrs. X does it!” quite a bit. I just said cheerfully, “Well Mrs. X isn’t here and this is how I’m doing it!” and moved on. However, starting with my 2nd long term assignment, I treated my first day like the first day of school. I’d say, “I probably do things a little differently than Mrs. X, so let’s go over some procedures so we’re all on the same page.” And we’d practice routines and procedures, no matter what time of the school year I started.
The consequence for not raising their hand wouldn’t work for me because I teach juniors and seniors and I don’t require them to raise their hand. I have used the line, “Thanks! I’ll take that under advisement!” to pretty good effect.
The one thing that gets under my collar is boys trying to mansplain tech to me. At the beginning of the year, they look at me and see a 62 year old woman and they assume I can’t operate a video, slides, or whatever. I’m actually a Google certified educator. I have to breathe a lot. But once they see I’m competent, it stops. Once, I said in a very joking voice, “Stop mansplaining! I got this!” Then all the girls started saying, “Yeah! Stop mansplaining! That’s so annoying when guys do that!” Haha, that stopped them in their tracks. 😀
I have been rightly corrected by students. When it’s done in a respectful manner, I appreciate it, and tell them so.
This is great and it solves arguments.i would like to know how to make all students respect and keep quiet as I speak
It will be interesting to see what Linsin says, but if it were me I would write on the board that if any student plays music over my voice again that Chromebooks will be left by the door or wherever they can’t get to them during class. Privilege lost. The mask thing I’ve had issues with too, so I can’t wait to see what he recommends.
Thank you for your wisdom. I have been teaching for 26 years, but it has really changed so much. Your articles and books have made me a much more effective teacher.
I wanted some advice. I have a violent emotionally disturbed child that is going to be in my class next year. His second grade teacher had a terrible year. Do you have any suggestions to help me make it through the year?
Does he have a behavior intervention plan (BIP)? If not, then it’s important to create one with the help of his 2nd grade teacher/SpEd Staff/Behavior Specialist and share the plan with the team that works with the student including your school principal. Even if the student doesn’t receive special education support, these are still great resources to use. Hope this helps and best of luck.
Hi Nancy,
It sounds like you have some real challenges. I hope that Michael has some comments. As a retired teacher, and now a teacher coach, I read his post every week and am so impressed with his insight. Here are a few comments of my own:
Can you simply meet students at the door one day and say that your policy regarding masks has changed, and that masks will no longer be worn in your class? Don’t refer to the bad behavior, just say no more masks. You might want to check with your administrators and see if they’ll back you up.
Regarding the computers. . . do students use them all class period? I’m not sure why they have them open at all if you are talking. Can you think through your circumstances and think of how to eliminate the possibility of this behavior? For example, “laptops on the back table as you come in, until they are needed.” Or “laptops stay in backpacks until I tell you to take them out.” Or “laptops on your desk remain closed until I tell you to open them”. Then make sure you’ve given all the directions, instruction, etc. you need to before you give permission to open them. Of course, if you discover who is doing this, apply an appropriate consequence immediately. . . maybe loss of the laptop for the day. A final thought. . . if you ask your tech person to help you, you should be able to look through the history of each laptop during your class period. Again, the purpose would be to apply an appropriate consequence and end the behavior.
Finally, I feel that you may have a larger problem, and that these behaviors are only a symptom. It seems that you’ve somehow lost the respect and cooperation on your class. Looking forward to the fall, I’d suggest reviewing Michael’s behavior plan and thinking through how you can tighten up your application of it. Often, we as teachers, fail to dispassionately administer consequences, and that undermines our whole system.
Good luck, and hang in there! You’ll find answers, and your situation can improve dramatically!
Covid is still in play so if students choose to wear masks out of personal consciousness or to protect vulnerable family members, it is their right to do so. My family, for instance, all wear kn95s because I am pregnant and I would be upset to learn that a teacher had mandated they remove it in a classroom full of kids.
Thanks for this information. I’m on a temporary assignment with a class full of students who do this constantly along with physical intimidation, lobbing objects and a host of other behaviors including resentment that I’m there and their teacher is not. Some days words just fail me.
Love all ideas. Thanks.
Great article. I am seeing this a lot more second semester as I receive a group of students that have spent half the year in different classroom situations. Unfortunately I have one student that this does not seem to work on. Following the classroom management plan has also not resulted in any change (the family is also beside themselves). It is frustrating to see, but otherwise I stay the course.
I’ve been teaching for 24 years. And I used to get in these back and forths. It never works out well for the teacher.
This year I started off the same way. I started combatting them. Slowly, I learned this is NOT the right approach for kids like this. They WANT you to engage with them in an argumentative way. Once I started retreating a bit, ignoring something they said, saying to them “I’ll consider it!” and with a smile, and just went back to the teaching they were like “I didn’t expect that. ” And sooner than later with all the write-ups, and enforcement on my end they stopped. It was like, “Uncle!”
Your blood pressure will do down as well :} Remember, they are just kids. Kids are “Chaos”. Once you accept that fact, move on! :}
Hello, I had a question about number 1 please. In the article, number one says, to “not address their comment at all, and to enforce a consequence and move on”, is this referring to saying ” I need to talk to you after class?” Or would it be a more severe consequence based on your classroom managment plan?
Thank you
I’m teaching Fab Lab at an Alternative High School, and I get 1-2 students who might be IEP or have mental issues (like dealing with authority, feeling like failures, or needing constant attention). Yesterday, I had one senior, articulate, bright, acknowledges he has issues, but he highjacked the class because of one criteria for a new project. He’s very new to my class as in this high school, the kids come in and out unscheduled, so I’ve not had a chance to get to know him yet. I’ve spoken with the principal (who himself acknowledges he has ADHD) who told me that most of the kids have problems with authority, insecurity, and don’t fit into a “normal” high school classroom. They’re not the self-motivated students, and just having them show up for class is considered a, “WIN!” If the students don’t want to do something they don’t have to. Yet, I also have to grade them! I’ve told my class that if nothing is produced, then I have nothing to grade.
As a Career Technology Educator, this makes me one very well-paid babysitter sometimes!
The argumentative student has called me, “unprofessional,” that I don’t get my project I want them to do, etc. and is very disrespectful. If I tell him after listening to him, “Thank you, I’ll take this into consideration” and try to go on, he keeps his hand raised. He tells me that it’s HIS way of keeping his thought on his mind as I talk. Very manipulative.
On top of all this, we only have 7 more days of school and he supposedly graduates.