Here at SCM, we’ve covered a lot of listening strategies over the years. We have a category dedicated to the topic.
But we haven’t yet covered the most effective listening strategy of all.
The reason is that it fixes a whole host of classroom management issues, not just listening. So we’ve covered it in many other ways.
It is a strategy, though, that gives power to your words, causing students to listen to you and follow your directions.
This came into stark contrast for me recently. You see, I had a group of students for several months before they moved on to another teacher. I loved teaching them.
They were fun and polite. They were easy to work with. A dream class. In fact, I boasted about how wonderful they were to their next teacher.
Then a couple of weeks later I saw them.
I had a chance to observe them during a lesson with their new teacher. They looked the same, physically anyway. They waved and smiled and said hello. But otherwise I didn’t recognize them.
They were off task most of the lesson. They played and cursed and roughhoused. They made fun of each other. They were obnoxious and immature.
Most glaringly, they didn’t listen well. Some had their backs turned and were talking when the teacher gave directions. Half the class didn’t seem to know what to do. The other half took their sweet time getting to work.
The teacher angrily called them out, gave a stern lecture, threatened. But not much changed. They were rude in a way that let the teacher know that they held the balance of power in the relationship. It was hard to watch.
The teacher pulled me aside later to complain about them and wonder how I could have painted such a rosy picture.
I gently asked about accountability. The teacher said that they were always held accountable and added that they (the teacher) had a wonderful relationship with them.
This couldn’t possibly be true, but I held my tongue.
As fate would have it, I was asked to supervise this same class for an hour so the teacher could attend a meeting. I couldn’t wait, honestly. I love all things classroom management and was fascinated with how they would react to me.
Would they continue to be rude and lazy? Would they straighten up right away?
I took over the class during an activity and decided just to watch and say nothing. They were as awful as when I observed a few days earlier. They were arguing. Some were chasing and pushing. It was loud and disorganized.
Finally, I stopped them. I waited for silence, then waited some more until it got awkward. Then, I just reset the expectations where they belonged. I told them what they needed to do and how they were going to behave. That’s it.
Then I turned them loose.
And they were great, normal. They focused and worked hard. Their behavior was good. They were polite. Like flipping a switch, the same as the day they left my class.
So what happened? Why did they listen to me? Do I have some magic ability?
I can assure you I don’t. The hard truth is that most teachers believe they’re consistent but they’re not. They believe they hold students accountable for every act of misbehavior—and will swear to you they do—but they don’t.
There is a great disconnect between perception and reality when it comes to classroom management. A huge swath of teachers will tell you that there is one boundary for all students in their classroom.
But in practice, when the rubber meets the road, that boundary is movable, negotiable, ever-changing and evolving and marked not in clear, sharp relief, but in a wide and fuzzy gray area.
They are not referees who call ’em like they see ’em.
Not even close. They’re judges who decide to hold students accountable (or not) based on their mood, their fears, the time of day, the severity of the misbehavior, and who is doing the misbehaving.
Most often, they try to persuade, convince, lecture, berate, question, manipulate, and talk to students into behaving—and call it all accountability.
Other times, they make an “executive decision” and let students off the hook, believing that they’re doing them a favor that will one day be returned.
It took me less than a minute to fix my old class. I didn’t use any secret strategy or wave a magic wand. I did nothing special. They listened to me because my words were backed by a history of consistent accountability.
I had a reputation for doing what I said. It was a sure thing they could take to the bank, and this makes all the difference.
The big and great powerful listening strategy is follow through.
That’s it.
Note: The story above was changed to protect the identity of those involved. Also, we had a huge response to The Smart Exercise Plan for Teachers. Click here for more info.
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What effective consequences did you use?
Michael, I find your strategies to be very effective. However, I worry about the children learning to behave, rather than behave for me. Can you explain how your approach teaches this please? Many thanks
I think specifically what did you tell him and what behaviors did you hold them to. Please give more details.
I struggle with consistency sometimes and I have been trying to work on it all year. My class has gotten to be just like you described here except I have 1st graders. I try to make sure my class is fun and interesting but sometimes I feel like my timeout table doesn’t really work. I dont want to revert to constantly sending notes home I feel like I need some direction or some help.
I believe I understand how you feel.
In fact, I would certainly say “training-consistency” is widely neglected in teaching training programmes happening right now, or at least those aiming to promote Classroom Management Techniques. We teachers should focus on acquiring such techniques that would help us stick to consistency regardless of the persistence of a tough semestre.
I truly appreciate these weekly blog/ articles. They have helped me transform my approach in the classroom. I have also in the last year bought 4 of the books on class room management and continue use to reread them as needed.
I also enjoy the videos posted on the website and FB.
Thank you Michael.
Agree! I work with teachers who believe that students can work in loud environments. Only two of the teachers do this on my team. However, when the principal comes into my room he has written emails about the way the students behave and are on task and how impressive my lessons are because they are dynamic and the students are involved. This is all due to classroom management. My principal now only comes in if someone is visiting from the district office.
I may give a warning first unless it is extreme (cussing or being very disrespectful to me or other students). I also remind students that people that love and care about them discipline them because we want them to have a good life and a great future. I always follow through and call the parents, email, or give an office referral for extreme behavior. I always look the student in the eye and reward honest answers. This way, students that may start the school year lying to me, no longer lie. It is extremely powerful. I let parents know what their child is doing if they are off task and sometimes give office referrals if it happens more than once (such as playing games on the iPad when they are supposed to be doing their work). I have had parents ask me what to do at home. Many parents don’t realize that all they need to do is take away their favorite video games, or the entire system. There have been a couple of parents that complain, but I have always been backed up by my principal because when it comes down to it the student is usually lying to the parent. I am always kind and empathetic to parents. Zero excuses and consequences (not being allowed to do something fun, such as a Kahoot) if the student has not done homework unless there is a true family emergency. I teach a lower grade and students have to repeat instructions and we have a behavior chart. I don’t have to send in reports weekly about behavior because behavior problems are rare, even when previous teachers tell me the child is a behavior problem. Being consistent and letting students know you care about their future truly makes a difference. When a child shouts out, I don’t embarrass the child, but have the whole class repeat the rule that they must raise their hand to speak. It is that easy. Our class motto is “We love and support each other.” I explain that this is not romantic love, but treating others the way you want to be treated. Loving the person by putting yourself in their shoes. I ask, “How would you feel if Johnny was to say that to you?”
Love it! Thank you for sharing.
This article is spot on. I’m starting to get tired of teachers complaining about students when they are the ones not following through with their threats.
“Put your phone away or I’ll take it”
Student ignores.
Teacher says,”I’m warning you, put it away!”
Student still ignores.
Teacher goes into a lengthy lecture so the student puts the phone away to avoid the torture of another lecture. A minute later the phone is out and the teacher is complaining the student has no respect and starts bargaining for better behaviour.
I walk into another class and no student has their phone out. That’s because the teacher confiscates it like they said they would the first time. It took just two lessons for the students to get the picture. In the first lesson, the pile of phones sitting on the teacher’s desk was high. The second lesson it was half the size, the next lesson no student had their phone out. There was no trick, the teacher did what they said they would do.
So what do you do with defiant students who refuse to give the phone? Call admin? Mine admin wouldn’t do anything.
Please give more details. You tell the kids what to do and how they’re going to do it and they immediately follow through. But specifically, IF they had continued talking or if half complied while the others didn’t…what would you have done? What would the consequences have been and are those consequences communicated with the class beforehand?
Asking for a friend.
I love your ideas and receiving your newsletter. I don’t teach in a classroom (much respect for those that do. ) I have been a monitor on a school bus and have recently received my endorsements to drive the school bus. Our district has every grade level riding each bus . I love these kids . I see and manage lots of behavioral issues and am learning to use the techniques you are teaching. I do have an inner calmness in me which definitely helps . Just wanted to say thank you , and introduce myself a little!
Congrats! You are amazing. Pat
I have a question. I have a few students who I suspect have ADHD. When I’m done giving directions, they want me to re-explain what I just explained. What do you suggest I say/do in this situation? (again, not necessarily a whole class issue; it’s the same student every time)
As a teacher who has ADHD, you should know that most of us have poor working memory. Even though the ADHD students were probably paying attention when you gave the directions, they probably were either struggling to focus or forgot the directions already because of the 50 little things that happened in the class between the time you gave the direction to the time they had to implement it (a door closed, a student squeaked their shoe, someone dropped their pencil, etc.).
You should repeat the instructions. However, something that might work better is to give them something written they can consistently come back to when they get off task. Something that breaks up the assignment with checkboxes would be even better.
Since I came back to teaching MS five years ago, I think we have many more who just can’t listen and do.
Now as I give directions, I point to the written directions in my PowerPoint prez. And then try to stop talking so the kids can just think about the directions.
Then when asked again, I point to the board and ask the student to read then ask me a more specific question about what they don’t understand.
You are saying, “The children listened to me,” There is a difference in listening to me and/or listened and followed rules, expectations, and showed respect, for the rules, the teacher and themselves. Students who listen to teachers usually have some carry over to the next teacher (at least for a while) because they have a respect for themselves and the process of listening and learning.
Another thought on listening, “Do you listen to your students talk?” What do they talk about? Unless you direct them, some of the words students use should not be thought about during a class that is learning based. I remind you the words don’t have to be bad words, just not apporiate for the setting. Do students listen and hear? Do students understand what is said to them and why it is said? Sometimes students must be channeled into constructive thinking in order to listen.
Great!
I struggle sometimes with being consistent with certain rules. I have told the students to hold me accountable ( respectfully!) if I don’t follow through. Do you think that is a bad idea?
I get it. Consistency is the key. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not consistent. The worst they get from me is usually a tongue-lashing. I’ve tried parent contact and it’s rarely worked. I’ve tried write-ups on our behavior system, then was told I did it too often. My question is what do you do when you’re already seen as inconsistent? How do you get the mojo back?