Likability is a common trait among the happiest, most effective teachers.
The reason is simple:
When your students like you, everything is easier—especially classroom management.
We’ve covered why this is so, as well as how to become more likable, in previous articles.
Today, however, we’re going to talk about how you know if it’s really true. Because, you see, students are adept at hiding negative feelings about you.
They fear that if you really knew how they felt, it may affect how you treat them or grade their work.
So most students keep their thoughts to themselves. They smile and do what they must while all the while holding a private grudge.
So how do you know?
What follows are five undeniable signs that your students truly do like you, thereby giving you a big classroom management advantage.
1. They’ll tell you.
This is the clearest indication of how your students really feel. If you’re popular with them, they’ll let you know it—again and again and again.
And it won’t just come from the few who seem to like all their teachers.
You’ll hear from all four corners of your classroom, representing your very best students as well as those who struggle, your perfectly well behaved and your most challenging.
2. You’ll hear it through the grapevine.
Parents, administrators, fellow teachers, students in other classrooms . . . your likability will become well known throughout the school.
You’ll get big, embarrassing cheers at assemblies and happy hellos during every passing period—even from students you’ve never met.
Parents will whisper in your ear, administrators will smile more often (and leave you alone), and your colleagues will want to know your secret. (Some may even resent you.)
3. Your students will acknowledge you.
When you first greet your students in the morning they’ll look right at you, which is no small thing. They’ll regard you with some gesture of unforced acknowledgement.
Some may be enthusiastic about it, while others will be more subtle. Many will also seek your approval, which they cherish.
“I scored during my soccer game yesterday.”
“I studied an hour last night.”
“I brought extra chips to share with my friends.”
4. Your students will want to be around you.
When different groups of students approach you in twos and threes during breaks or before and after school just to talk and laugh, it’s an obvious sign that they like you and enjoy your company.
—Which is the key to having natural, behavior-influencing rapport.
Conversation flows easily. Banter is effortless. And awkwardness and shyness around you is all but non-existent.
5. Your Students yell hello across campus.
It means a lot when students unabashedly yell out a greeting while with friends or playing at recess or hiking between classes.
Especially middle and high schoolers.
Their willingness to be openhearted and risk being made fun of by their friends or jaded students who may not know you is a strong indicator of how much they care about you.
6. You have leverage, and can feel it.
This is when you’ve reached the point where your personal likability so profoundly affects students that classroom management becomes much easier.
You can feel, palpably, that even giving a warning matters to your students.
They like and appreciate you and enjoy being in your classroom to such a degree that your rules carry weight, meaning, and significance to them. They loathe to disappoint you, but desire to please you, listen to you, impress you, and behave for you.
It’s powerful stuff and the greatest feeling in teaching.
An Advantage Like No Other
There are teachers who will tell you that they couldn’t care less whether their students like them or not.
Fair enough.
However, whatever level of teaching ability they’ve reached, they can double it in a month by becoming more likable. I can’t emphasize enough the advantage this gives you.
Or the joy and ease it can bring to classroom management.
This doesn’t mean that you have to entertain your students, be friends with them, or ever fail to hold them accountable. (Which, ironically, will cause them neither to like nor respect you.)
To learn how to become more likable and enjoy greater influence and a deeper love of teaching, please visit the Rapport & Influence category of the archive or pick up one of our books.
In the meantime, thanks for reading and being part of SCM.
If you haven’t done so already, please join us. It’s free! Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week.
Thank you for years of happy teaching!
I began teaching Art a little over ten years ago. I teach elementary students. I found and read your first book two times in a row. The advice transformed my classroom from a happy classroom into a joyful classroom. I have adapted your system to my personality but kept consistent.
I can not thank you enough, I have had so many important teaching moments opened for me because of my calm, safe classroom.
You are a gift to teachers and students.
Congratulations on your success, Leigh! And thanks for your kind words. They are much appreciated.
Hi Michael
I know that you are describing the teacher I believe myself to be, in each of your indicators, which makes me feel both proud and vindicated.
What is needed is a high level of emotional intelligence to achieve it, which a few teachers have. Too many of our number take everything so personally, when it isn’t personal; it’s about a child’s ability to spot a fake when they see one and a teacher’s fear of losing control. This always leads to escalating tension and bad scenes which teachers”win” because the rules are behind them.
My golden rule for all teachers is just this:
Never treat a child in the way you wouldn’t if their parents were looking.
Carol
I think that’s a good rule, Carol. Thanks for sharing.
Always such fantastic wisdom and support from you, Michael.
Thank you, Nathan!
I am a retired teacher (32 years in my “calling”) and always enjoy reading your articles! You definitely know what sets a great teacher apart from a mediocre teacher! You’re always “spot on” with your advice! Keep dropping the nuggets of wisdom!
Thanks Pamela. I’ll do my best. 🙂
I wish that some people would read this! I feel that I am the “like-able” teacher that you speak of. I always have kiddos hugging me and calling me by name saying hi and , sadly, I don’t know how who they are. I have students saying,”I wish I was in your class.” Or “I wish I could come back and be in your class again.” I have always prided myself in building strong connections with my students and their parents. However, sadly, it’s being held against me by admin. When did it become a BAD thing to make students and parents feel safe and cared about? It’s just the kind of person that I am. I’m very empathetic and I wear my heart on my sleeve. If admin wants me to change that, well, I cannot. It’s terrible because I have been in this district, at the same school, for 20 years now. But, if I need to find a position in another district, I guess that’s what I need to do.
I am a regular reader of smart class and I must say, it really works in the classroom. Time and again , I feel thankful and am full of gratitude with my students for their behaviour and management of classroom . Today my students themselves greet me in the morning or are ready for the activity . They are of the age 3-4 years.
Some of the clues have happened to me😮 while walking on the corridors or from buildint to building🤗
I once heard a motivational speaker say to a room full of teachers, “Are you the kind of teacher you would request for YOUR child?” My children have finished college now, but that question still guides me each year.
Thanks for sharing this article. I get the opportunity to travel to many schools for presentations, speaking, etc. and see teachers/educators who fit your description. The educators who are “Liked” often have more enthusiasm, energy, and joy, and get better results behaviorally and academically.
Sadly, many of them will share that far too many of their colleagues often criticize, isolate, and some cases attempt to discredit/sabotage them.
Back when I taught, I learned so much from the most liked teachers and found myself becoming more likeable because I observed the teachers you described in this article. I also found out that many of these teachers went out of their way to help others like myself to become better and more likeable.
I often have “in house” educator panels in my presentations where educators from within a school share some of their best insights with their colleagues. Many times these sharing sessions lead to better educator relationships and these relationships transform the culture and climate of their classrooms and schools.
I really enjoy your perspective Michael and appreciate you sharing your wisdom to help so many people.
Enjoy “each” day!
Anthony
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and positivity, Anthony! I always enjoy your perspective.
Chrissie;
Wow, that is sad news. I don’t think I could ever be anything but energetic and fun for my students. Learning should be fun not boring. Some teachers are just called to teach, and some are not, enough said. Good luck on your pursuits. By The Way I work as an online ESL teacher, and we are allowed to be fun, it is even encouraged. Now I must say that it is far better than the public schools environment. Although, when I sub for the public schools, students are always excited to see me because they know it will be a fun day and not just because I’m filling in but because they know I care about them, and that learning will not be boring. Kids really respond to that.
I once had my Principal say to me at the end of a school year – “If I had a dollar for every parent that asked for their kid to be in your class, i’d be a millionaire.” It made me feel proud to know that I was doing a decent job and that as a teacher I was making an impact!