“Why do we have to raise our hands?”
“Why can’t we talk in the hallway?”
“Why do we have to do it like that.”
It can feel, depending on their tone of voice, disrespectful. It can feel as if they’re trying to put you on the spot.
Or make you squirm.
It can feel as if they’re challenging your very authority.
So when a student questions the way you manage your classroom—most often in front of the class—it can be hard not to take it personally. It can be hard not to bristle and become defensive.
But this is a big mistake.
Because showing frustration puts you at odds with not only the student who asked the question but with your entire class.
It creates a you-against-them relationship that can spiral into downright hostility. Furthermore, for classroom management to be most effective, you need your students on your side and even agreeing with your methods.
So how should you respond?
Willingly.
“We raise our hand so everyone gets a fair chance to participate.”
“We’re quiet in the hallway so we don’t disturb other classrooms.”
“Because it’s the fastest, most efficient way to do it.”
You calmly, even cheerfully, say your line and then move on. There is no reason to wait for a response or gird yourself for an argument. Students, you see—all of us, for that matter—just want to know that what we’re asked to do has a purpose.
This underscores the importance of knowing the why of everything you do.
If you can’t point to a logical reason why you have certain rules, procedures, routines, etc., then you’re asking for trouble. Because arbitrary or unexplained regulation causes resentment.
Always, always, always.
In my role coaching teachers, I find myself asking frequently “Why are you doing that? What’s the purpose?” And often they can’t tell me, which means their students don’t know either.
You must continually ask yourself, “In what way does this benefit us as a class?”
Because if it doesn’t, if you can’t explain why it’s a good thing in a sentence or two, then it’s arbitrary and must be scrapped.
Knowing why is key to getting students to happily go along with your program rather than wanting to sabotage it. It’s key to their trust in you and satisfaction being in your classroom.
They don’t necessarily even have to agree. They just need to know why.
Therefore, whenever you introduce a new way of doing something—whether it’s the beginning of the year or otherwise—you mustn’t fail to point out why it’s beneficial to everyone involved.
In this way, you avoid those awkward, tension-filled challenges and questions altogether. You avoid the awful feeling of knowing that there are bad vibes between you and not knowing why.
And, most importantly, you avoid being viewed as just another adult who likes bossing kids around.
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Thank you! I’m a library director, & I use your posts in my leadership practice all the time. This is always my way – when someone questions me, I see it as an opportunity. I never mind sharing my reasons – almost always, either I wasn’t clear, or the asker genuinely wants to know more. Sometimes I do need to think more about a decision, & sometimes the asker has an opportunity to learn something new. After all, I hope they may be the leader one day. The next time a colleague says “They shouldn’t be questioning your authority,” which bothers me more than the initial question, I’m going to share this.
What happens when you frequently teach the procedure and frequently give the reason. For example almost every day when my class lined up I asked them to put their lips together and breathe through their nose that we’re going to walk through the hallway because we need to be quiet because other people are studying . I still have students that will challenge me why do we have to do this this is dumb ? This doesn’t happen just in align it happens to the school day with many different procedures . I’m thinking of creating a form and when a student asked the question say fill this out and I’ll get back to you .
Great article. It has taken me years to learn not to take these questions personally. When we give them a simple, clear answer in a neutral voice it lets them know that we are listening to them, and that we actually have a reason for a rule, that we aren’t just ordering them around. With some of my most challenging students, I have learned that when they realize you are actually listening to them, and are willing to give them a few seconds of your time to respectfully answer them, their icy veneer starts to crack a little.
Interesting article! I’ve been putting your tips to work as I substitute teach and they have been a lifesaver! I do find though that there are students who still won’t take the answer at face value and then move on, but rather, they are wanting to start an argument in front of the class and thus attempt to barrage me with questions, one after the other. When this happens, what I’ve found works is to answer as you’ve suggested, and then if they have any further questions (or try further to start an argument) – I respond by saying “I’d be happy to chat further with you about the rules at the end of the period but right now have to get the lesson done/help other students/get moving on the assignment, etc. This seems to work very well as I say it cheerfully and it gives the message that I’m not interested in engaging in a fight, but would be happy to discuss the rules later (which they never want to discuss once the audience is removed). 🙂
Perfect timing for this topic for me!
My last class ALWAYS wants to jump out of their seats BEFORE the dismissal bell especially with the Christmas/ Hanukkah holidays one week away!
NOW I can explain to them that ” We all want to leave, teachers included, lol, but you MUST stay in your seats until the bell dismisses you so NO one gets hurt leaving out the small doorway! ”
I may or may not have been guilty of saying , in the past, because I am the teacher and I said so( lol) ….because of exhaustion.
Sandra had a good point.
Occasionally an energetic kiddo wants EXTRA attention , carries on and takes time from my other 31 kids. Sandra had a helpful response.
I have said the same thing…we can talk further AFTER class, but I am busy( after I have explained) because I have directions to tell you right now so you can pass my exam….or whatever I am explaining…..
These articles are realistic and I really appreciate your time. I am mentoring two teachers this year and have shared your fair, practical advice with them both!
Thank you!
dear sir
Your articles are really helpful. But sir i need your help handling my O level boys students. I teach chemistry. I have lost one of my class due to issues related to class room management. My students are not ready to study. The moment my lesson start either they run away to wash room and dragged back to class. In the class room a group of students keep on asking for wash room/ water/ canteen etc.
Quite a large group keeps on talking and laughing loudly , whistling and producing sounds or chanting different slogans etc. I, mostly have to take a lot of time to make few students quite and start lesson which i have to stop after some time. Many a times i requested our school senior mistress of HM to sit my class so scan teach. initiall two three students were doing these non senese activities but now i has changed into a ganag. They don’t do any cw or Hw.
I am too much worried and search of some miracle for help.
please guide me and help me to get out of panic and stress.
Oh wow, I feel so sad for you being in this frustrating and stressful situation which seems to be getting worse (That’s unsurprising, I guess, because students spend a lot of time working out what “buttons to press” to distract or upset different teachers, and then working as a group to be more successful in it! It probably contains elements of games people have always enjoyed playing, only this time a real person is the target, which is easy or convenient to forget at the time when they’re enjoying the “approval” of their classmates for getting a perceived victory over a teacher. The REALLY disappointing thing is the lack of support and assistance from your school management. Whether or not they think you are contributing to the situation (which we generally are when we become so stressed and almost afraid of the classroom), they need to either step in to help you after observing in the class, or allow you to perform a different role within the school. In Australia at least, there is a real shortage of teachers, and schools should generally be very keen to help the teachers they have to remain there! It is always possible to suggest great strategies which really do work, such as the many which can be found on this website. However, if you are in a terrible situation and aren’t able to implement them yourself and the students have probably become strongly attached to these unkind habits, it seems to me that you need someone higher up to step in and give assistance. There can be monitoring of the class, observation, seating plans, lesson plan supervision, etc. which can all be great once you have a “safe” space in the classroom to introduce them and the students are shocked into learning that a new plan is necessary. That’s my advice: don’t be ashamed to ask for help, and care enough about your own mental health and ongoing development as a teacher to insist on a supervised performance management approach from the school. Otherwise they could lose a great teacher, have to deal with parent complaints about not having a teacher, and the students learn the worst possible lesson: “You can get what you want in life by dominating people and treating them unkindly until they quit”. So do something before they learn that, and you’ll be participating in their best lesson ever: “It’s never too late to take stock of a bad situation, admit your faults/contribution to the problem on both sides, and then take steps to turn things around and actually become more mature and resilient and wise people in the long run. You can do this! And your school must do this – it’s their job and it benefits them too, as well as their students! Insist positively but firmly on some help. Roz
@Carole When I first started teaching high school after teaching middle school for 15 years, the students would line up at the door before the bell. This about drove me crazy. Now my policy is that the bell doesn’t dismiss them, I do and they have to be seated and silent before being dismissed. I do give them about a 1 minute warning that the bell is about to ring and to sit down and get quiet. They often keep each other accountable by telling classmates to sit down and get quiet.
Michael,
How do you feel about leaving students out of “fun” or “special” activities? For example, one student is constantly blurting out even though the rules have been taught explicitly and the rest of the class has adjusted to the rules and consequences just fine. Every day this student takes home a note about behavior (and has a behavior chart that I hate but Admin put in place). So this student spends a lot of time in time out, assures me they know the rules and consequences and promises to change; however never does. We are also a PBIS school where everything is positive and rewarded for everything…I completely disagree with this practice so I reward whole class with fun things like art projects (sadly art has been taken out of our school) and running laps around the track- yes they get excited about that. I’m thinking about not letting this student participate because of his constant breaking of the rules and was wondering your thoughts.
Also, many people ask you about ideas for substitute teachers. A lot of what you write about I do naturally as a teacher. I was a substitute for nearly a decade and I assure you these practices work. I start a class with, “I will do things differently, but I assure you we will all survive the day.” I then go into my expectations and consequences (I don’t send the note home, instead I leave a note for the teacher.). I held them responsible and accountable. I rarely had a bad sub day and teachers begged for me to come back.
Hi Karen,
I like it as a consequence, but it’s important students know ahead of time how, why, and when it could happen. I’ll be sure to write about this topic in the near future.
Thanks Michael, I always let them know of the consequences beforehand. Another thing I do, is they LOVE to go eat lunch in the Dean’s office. However, she won’t let them come if they have had any reminders that day and that comes from her not me. She makes lunch fun and gives them each a book every time they come so this incentive has helped too.
I did think of another question, I just finished your Classroom Managemant Secret and Happy Teacher Habits books and started Dream Class. You talk a lot of making your lessons interesting and captivating. I would like to know how to do that when you have to start each lesson unpacking the Learning Target and Success Criteria which takes a good 5 minutes before you ever start the lesson then you have to refer back to it during the lesson. The Learning Targets and Success Criteria are just as dry and boring as the lesson is and often times I lose the kids before I ever get to the lesson.
What’s your opinion on how to be captivating while also unpacking the dry Learning Target and Success Criteria?
I can be captivating (for example, I brought in my great grandparents telegraph machine to show my students) I just have issue with these dry Learning Targets and Success Criteria.
Are you a school of rigor too???
I wouldn’t call it a school of rigor, they just provide us with most dry and boring curriculum they can find that is not appropriate for the demographics of our students then wonder why the students aren’t engaged or making progress.
In my opinion rules are a part of teaching and learning, not an isolated item!
That is why CM for me also is hard to understand as an isolated field.
Hello!
I love your posts and often share with teachers. I just shared it with a new teacher and got him to try to subscribe, but we found your subscription button isn’t working for some reason right now. Just wanted to let you know so you don’t miss out on more followers.
Thanks Jessica! The button seems to be working fine on this end. A pop-up blocker may be interfering.
To you I would say, When establishing rules, policies, expectations and codes of conduct, explain to the population that these ground rules are created to establish order and to avoid disorder in a public setting. This is the way you are expected to conduct yourselves during the class and in the hallway and be precise.
Note: Discuss each rule or even better establish the rules of order together during the first class with some build in expectations for order.