When it comes to classroom management, you’ve got to pick your battles.
So the advice goes.
The idea behind the common saying that you can’t have what you really want.
You can’t have a consistently peaceful room environment. You can’t have impeccable student behavior.
You can’t have politeness, cooperation, and silent independent work.
That would be asking too much, more than your students can give.
So you “fight” for only the big things. You take a stand against chaos and disrespect. You draw the line at bullying and roughhousing.
And you let slide the side-whispering, the sloppy routines, and the minor disruptions.
This is a big mistake.
Picking your battles is terrible advice. It amounts to a bottoming of standards, a surrendering of your beliefs and values, and a giving in and giving up on students.
But it’s even worse than that.
Besides being the very definition of inconsistency—which is unfair to students, causes resentment, and leads to more and more misbehavior—it’s also the opposite of what really does work.
You see, it’s the small, seemingly inconsequential details that protect you from the big things—the major disruptions, the dramatic incidents, the endless stress.
It’s being a stickler for how students hang up their backpacks, for example, or gather into groups. It’s establishing a high-bar level of civility through your classroom management plan. It’s nipping the bud of misbehavior before it gains a toehold.
A talkative lesson or a lazy routine isn’t a sign that your students can’t do any better.
It’s not telling you that you’re asking too much or that you need to ease up on your expectations. Rather, it’s a sign that you should ask even more of your students, not less.
It’s a sign you need to teach—or reteach—model, and practice in greater detail and explicitness.
Taking a stand on the little things is the secret to impeccable behavior. It’s in holding students accountable for how they enter your classroom or take out their laptops or work independently that keeps disrespect and unruliness from ever entering the picture.
It’s the broken windows theory at work.
This doesn’t mean that you have to fight every battle. It means that you don’t fight any battle at all. Instead, you simply follow through on your promises. You do what you say you’re going to do.
You set and maintain the standards, tone, and environment that you want and know is best for your students.
And that’s just the way it is.
Being insistent about procedures, orderliness, politeness, and every other detail that affects your classroom’s ‘pleasantness’ effectively wards off big and stressful misbehavior.
It brings surefire peace to the kingdom.
It creates a learning experience your students will take pride in being part of.
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This is such good advce for the classroom. Also, this is great advice for parents! Nothing makes me cringe more than to hear a parent say they pick their battles. To me, everything is “connected”. Teachers let students use phones in class for research, you’re going to have them texting and listening to music during instruction. Parents let children dress to express themselves, (in all black or very “skimpy”) it leads to inappropriate behavior. It’s telling children that what that dress represents is ok.
What are some ways to follow through with being consistent on expectations. I’m having a hard time with students blurting, getting distracted with things in their desk, talking etc.
I keep a little pad next to me while working. I usually have a pen somewhere on me – hand, hair, packet, etc. When a student blurts, talks while I am, any “minor” bad behavior, I write the student’s name down. Three strikes and you’re out. This might mean the dean’s office, detention, stand in the hall, etc. Whatever current discipline your school has for kids who get in trouble – time out.
Thank you. I was just beginning to question whether my continued reteaching of procedures was overkill. I appreciate the reminder:)
I do the reteaching incessantly until they show me they can do it.
I too believe that reteaching a lesson helps students and it lets them know they can achieve Also it will influence a change in how a student learns . They will begin to have pride in their work habits.
This is the way I generally run my classroom and it has been SO HARD this year. Pardon my bluntness, but they just haven’t gotten it that they have to “shut up”. No, I don’t say that to them, but I have said the same thing the usual ways, and have meted out consequences for breaking the no talking rule when it is in place. One day I had half of my 24 student class with consequences for this behavior.
I have to admit that part of the struggle is that someone gave us a completely, developmentally inappropriate schedule this year. K and 1 have always had instruction in the morning and lunch/recess at the end of school right before pack up. This year, our special class and lunch/recess is scheduled in the morning which leaves our instructional time from 11:15 – 2:28 without a break. That just isn’t a good fit for 5 and 6 year olds. Luckily, after going to our new principal we were able to move recess to 12:30 so that we at least have a break in the middle of the afternoon but it’s still difficult to get them to work for that last 1 1/2 hours. AND, finally I am hearing the quiet students cuing the talking students to be quiet. I generally don’t like shushing in my class but at this point I’m willing to allow it. I can slide it out at a later time when the talking situation is more stable.
I am having the exact same thing in my room. I’m a seasoned teacher and feel I am not able to get a handle on this situation. Need some help.
I was thinking of The Broken Windows theory before I got that far in the article.
Great stuff!
Thanks Jack!
Side whispering is such a powerful annoyance,sometimes more annoying than loud sounds….
I think that the thing which is not mentioned here is that the rules need to be developmentally appropriate. When I hear teachers saying that they need to pick their battles, it is often because their norms are often way too unrealistic: students are not going to sit down and do worksheets for extended periods of time. Human beings are never on task 100% of the time, yet we often hold children to this standard. We absolutely pick our battles, but the mistake that most teachers make is that we pick our battles in the trenches when we should be doing it in the war room before the battles even start. What are our realistc expectations? That should be the first onsideration.
This is so true. You have to respond to EVERYTHING. After doing this for awhile they just know what you expect. It’s magical. And they really do love you for it. You have to commit every day to sticking to your guns NO MATTER WHAT. It’s taken me 14 years to find out what works. And this works.
Wendy, so grateful when you mentioned “14 years”. I am on my 12th year and I feel like a failure at times. You encouraged me to just keep going and trying and finding what works.
When I think of picking your battles it means don’t let the small things get to you. Keep calm, don’t get upset.
Andy — I completely agree!
The problem that I’m having though is that in one classroom (ex: one Grade 2 classroom filled with 6- and 7-year-olds), the developmental “age” of the children range from the equivalent of about 3 years old to about 10 years old.
How do I know what realistic expectations are for a certain age group? If they’re realistic for 6-year-olds in Grade 2, what about the students who have medical, behavioural or other issues and act as if they’re 3 years old? This is where I get stuck and find myself picking my battles.
How do I have the “3-year-old” 6-year-old live up to the same standard and follow the same rules as the rest of the class?
Totally agree. Insistence on the little things like lining up quietly, entering the room quietly sets the tone.
These articles are great and I understand for the most part but I could really use examples and more clarity as to what you mean. I’ve read so many of these articles and I would love to see some examples. Most of the articles I’ve read here are vague and general.
Hi Jessica,
Some articles, like this week’s, delve into principles of SCM. Others are strategies, where we do indeed show you step by step exactly what to do. Both are needed to give readers a comprehensive understanding of effective classroom management.
I think picking our battles refers to choosing which rules skid absolutely be enforced, and forgetting about the unreasonable ones. For example, at my middle school, there’s a policy of no food in the classroom. I let that one go because I’m not going to tell hungry kids they can’t eat. I do tell them there are occasions when they’ll have to wait, like when we have lab equipment out, but otherwise, they’re free to eat as long as they clean up their messes. There are consequences of they don’t. Also, I choose not to enforce every single dress code policy. Some are outdated and unfairly penalize girls over boys. Obviously, bikinis are a no-no, but if a girl’s shoulder straps are under 1 inch wide, it doesn’t matter. The boys in my class are not at all distracted and the girls are coveted up enough. Not all rules need to be enforced. In addition, sticking to your guns at all times can make you miss signs that something is wrong with a student. If a kid is suddenly breaking rules, it’s usually because something is wrong. You don’t want to just summarily apply consequences, when what they really need is compassion and help.
That’s a great point of view. I adhere to it as well.
I agree with Andy also. (And with Michael, too.) Kindergarten used to exist mainly for the purpose of teaching students to play nicely, use good manners, sit and attend for short stretches of time, and become aware of others’ needs as well as learn how to politely state their own needs. All of this early developmental, social/emotional learning would support the kind of productive and calm 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade class Michael describes. My guess is that the pendulum will swing back from “academic” pre-K and K to more play-based early childhood and early elementary ed. I just worry that the damage is done for some kids, and we’re essentially having to spend extra time remediating their social/emotional skills in the later grades. It’s possible, sure, but it would be more efficient as well as more humane to focus on social skills and self-regulation in the early grades.
Thank you for this amazingly true article! I have been following the SCM approach for my 2nd year already and it is not the first time I was told by my principals that my system is a bit too harsh and I should ‘pick my battles’ with certain students. (The same principal was very impressed with the quantity and quality of the learning in my classroom through the end of last year… thanks Michael!) It is very hard though to follow through. Last week in my class I was working on being extremely consistent and 6 students received a letter home mainly for excessive whispering. Is that normal for the 5th day of school or am I doing something wrong?
Hi Rachel,
I’m so happy to hear about your success. Way to go! Usually, that many letters is a sign that you need to reteach in greater detail. Here is an article that may help:
https://smartclassroommanagement.com/2015/02/28/are-you-giving-out-lots-of-warnings-heres-how-to-fix-it/ (Although about warnings, the fix is the same.)
What would be a example of classroom management plan? I am a new teacher and I would love to see and example of a classroom management plan with rules and consequences.
Hi Ricardo,
You can find the Smart Classroom Management Plans along the sidebar at right.
This is good advice for teachers who are teaching in typical classroom environments. It is not necessarily good advice for teachers who work solely with conduct disordered students. These students have been expelled from all previous environments where teachers took a hard line of intolerance for ANY behavior deemed inappropriate. These students would be drop outs and runaways if a different approach was not offered to them. I teach in a program where most of my students have had numerous school failures for inappropriate behaviors and only when the expectation from perfection is lowered are they able to be in school at all. Many have disorders which are not medicated and their volitional control over their behavior is greatly reduced. Many have been kicked out of every program, foster home, group home and alt ed environment. I have found enormous success by picking my battles. I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst
I’m a first year teacher, but I’ve been following your site for a year or two now. Today I was told I have more control of my class than most teachers do after many years. I still feel like I have room to grow in being even more consistent, but your advice has allowed me to train my students off to a great start – enough that others are starting to wonder how I do it. Thanks so much for all your advice!
That’s awesome, Kelsey. Way to go! Your school is so lucky to have you.
Without any notice to teachers or students, our higher functioning high school SPED classes had their schedules abruptly and totally changed 5 weeks into the semester, including new electives that some will be unable to pass. Behaviorally, we are back to square one with blurting, being out of desk, and bullying. I have been using your techniques for just over a year and am addressing procedure and all areas of discontent and misconduct but it leaves little time for actual teaching. I want start again by putting a poster above our door that you mentioned but can’t find it in the archives. It was a positive affirmation and a basketball they had to jump and tap as they entered. These are such hard days. Our supervisor has great intentions but deploying these changes is proving to be a most difficult task for students and an IEP record keeping nightmare for teachers.
I have been reading your articles for at least two years maybe three. How does this style align with PBIS or do they contradict each other?
Hi Beverly,
They do not align.
Hi,
I love the principles that you teach, and I think they are great! I’m just wondering what you recommend for young students who have impulse control issues (maybe ADHD, maybe not) who blurt out things and stop themselves mid-word when they catch themselves. Would you give a consequence for such an action?
Looking forward to hearing your advice!
Thanks!