Here at SCM, we’ve talked a lot about the importance of making your praise worthy.
That is, praise that is based on true accomplishment.
—Which can be defined as achievement, excellence, or effort beyond what is commonly expected.
In this way, we support the growth of intrinsic motivation and inspire our students to greater accomplishment.
Praising for that which they’ve already proven they can do, on the other hand, weakens this churning, self-sustaining force.
It places pushing in one’s chair, for example, on the same level as an outstanding essay.
Which is not only confusing to students, but it strips your praise of any real meaning.
(For expected behavior, a good old-fashioned “thank you” will do.)
How you give praise can also have an effect on its power and impact.
Although there is nothing wrong with an occasional “good job” or “nice work,” there are more unique and effective ways of expressing your approval.
What follows are three such examples.
1. The wordless fist bump.
Often, the less overt and demonstrative your praise, the more meaningful it will be. There is power in acknowledging true accomplishment with the smallest, simplest gesture.
It gives it a weightiness and significance, as if the work or improvement is too sacred to make a big deal out of. This is the idea behind the wordless fist bump.
The way it works is that you’re first going to give the student you’d like to praise a private moment to enjoy their accomplishment. Let them revel in it a beat or two before inserting yourself into the narrative.
When the time feels right, approach calmly and, while making eye contact, hold out your fist so they have to reach to bump it. Then move on quickly without waiting for further response.
And that’s it. When the student knows what prompted your praise, there is no reason to say anything at all. In fact, it’s often best if you don’t.
Although smiling is perfectly okay, a more determined look can sometimes give the moment that secret sauce that shakes them down to their shoes.
2. The smile and nod from across the room.
In a similar vein as the fist bump, catching a student’s eye from across the room as they’re enjoying their moment can be so, so powerful.
It’s as if you’re admiring them and their accomplishment from afar and they just happen to catch you watching them.
If you’re actively aware of your students’ successes, and you should be, you’ll notice them trying to make eye contact with you, though sometimes shyly, to get your reaction or share in the experience.
If you’re someone they respect and admire, then a slight smile and head nod declaring your pride and approval will mean the world to them.
3. The surprise note.
I love leaving notes for students. Just showing that you’re willing to take the time to write to them personally is something they’ll always remember.
I have former students who still have notes I wrote to them more than 20 years ago. The key is to use special stationery (post-its are a no-no) and write in your most careful, delicate handwriting.
Fold it crisply, secure it privately with a piece of tape, and speak from the heart. Make your words direct, specific, and keep exclamations and smiley faces to a minimum.
Again, the lack of frivolity adds depth and dignity to the gesture. The more meaningful and cherished it is to the student, the more it will rev their intrinsic motivational engine.
Plus, it’s fun and it feels good.
Praise That Matters
There are times when enthusiastic, over-the-top praise is right for the moment, when a welling up of pride in a student’s success bursts out of you. “Way to go, Jonah! I love your essay! Now, this is what I’m talking about.”
But often, subtle is best.
Because you’re recognizing something the student is already feeling inside. You’re not overshadowing their accomplishment or disrupting their quiet satisfaction.
You’re just letting them know that you see it too.
Which is a powerful thing.
Noticing improvement, hard work, or success beyond what your students have done before, and simply noting it—the pure truth of it—can be profoundly meaningful to them.
But it takes a keen eye, a soft touch, and a willingness to hold back, just a little, in order to create the perfect moment.
If you haven’t done so already, please join us. It’s free! Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week.
I love your suggestions of praise without lessening the place where praise really should go. My kids love a bump and always puff up a bit when they receive one. A thank you is also a great idea and I don’t use it enough. I do a lot of praising by saying something like, “I like the way Johnny is sitting. He knows exactly what to do.” Everyone looks at Johnny and gets in the same position. I can then announce that everyone is ready to learn in a happy voice! I think of it as a really good way of acknowledging the child who sat properly and also just getting on with the lesson without a lot of droning on about behavior. After all, the lesson is the important thing.
While I can see the tendency within myself to also point out who is doing what I asked them to do well in an effort to praise them … I’ve been consciously to controling that impulse. Here’s why:
I asked myself, “What unspoken messages am I sending to the student I’m praising and the rest of the class?”
The answers that came up were that depending on the student, I’m creating slight to significant embarrassment for the student I’m praising and this type of praise often leads to creating or strengthening a limiting belief of superiority.
For the other students, it sends an ever so subtle message that I think those students who remain unnamed were not doing well even if they may have been trying their best. Or that they are less capable than the named student because they didn’t/couldn’t do it without the reminder disguised as praise.
Because the message is so subtle it’s very powerful. Just as subtle and less demonstrative praise is usually more effective and powerful … the same is true for most other actions that are subtle and less demonstrative.
Basically, it comes down to being honest with my intentions. If I have an intention other than genuinely wanting to praise a student for something well done, I ought not do it. If I have even an INKLING of a desire that other students will respond a certain way as the result of my praise, I ought keep my praise out of the public eye and only between me and the student I wish to praise.
Michael, thank you for so clearly explaining what, why and how to give praise effectively.