There is a reason students tattle.
But it has nothing to do with them. They are not the problem. They’re merely doing what they feel like they must do. The problem is with you, their teacher.
Have you ever noticed that when students tattle they usually do so in person? They’ll approach you, often at the most inconvenient time, and stand directly in front of you to get your attention.
This is classic tattling behavior.
They do this because it’s the best way they know how to communicate that what they are about to tell you is important.
And then, at the risk of being labeled a “tattletale,” they speak up for themselves. They do the right thing. They exercise restraint. They look to you to handle a problem they can’t handle themselves (without engaging in their own misbehavior).
It takes courage to tattle.
And yet, for many teachers it’s a nuisance. They’ll shoo the tattling student away and think to themselves, “The nerve of that kid!”
The Real Reason Students Tattle
Tattling is the result of teachers not fulfilling their most important responsibility: to protect every student’s right to learn and enjoy school without interference.
In other words, students tell on classmates when (a) you don’t have a classroom management plan that works, or (b) you’re not following your plan as it’s written.
It’s common for teachers to discourage tattling, going so far as saying, “There is no tattling allowed in this classroom!”
Which begs the question:
If the teacher isn’t protecting students from misbehaving classmates, and tattling isn’t allowed, then what is a student to do when another student infringes upon their right to learn and enjoy school?
The last thing we want is for students to take matters into their own hands or to have to endure being pestered, bothered, or bullied. But for too many students, these are their only options.
So what’s the solution?
Follow these five steps to protect your students and reduce tattling to almost zero:
1. Reevaluate your classroom management plan.
Take a close look at your plan. Your rules must cover every behavior that interferes with learning and enjoying school. If they don’t, then scrap your plan and create one that does.
2. Follow your plan as it’s written.
Your classroom management plan isn’t worth the poster it’s printed on if you don’t follow it. For every rule that is broken, enforce a consequence without a second thought. This simple step removes 90% of tattling.
3. Encourage tattling.
Frequently remind your class that it’s your job to protect their right to learn and enjoy school. If anyone interferes with that right, you want to know about it. Ask them to slip you a note or give you a prearranged signal so you can talk to them about it privately at a later time.
4. Don’t call it tattling.
We all want to develop confident students who aren’t afraid to speak up for themselves and others. But tattling has a negative connotation. It discourages students from coming to you with a legitimate problem for fear they’ll be made fun or marginalized for it.
5. Take advantage of your loophole.
Your classroom management plan should include a loophole for certain behavior. Interfering with another student’s right to learn and enjoy school calls for a swift response and an immediate escalation of consequences. Skip the warning and separate the offending student from the rest of the class at first chance.
Embrace Tattling
In most circumstances, teachers should be slow to step in and help solve problems for students—both academic and social. Students grow mature and resourceful by working things out themselves.
But when a student comes to you because a classmate is interfering with their school experience, they are solving it themselves by asking you to do something they can’t do. And you should step in immediately.
To remove the stigma of tattling, tell your students that they don’t have a choice. If someone is bothering them, bullying them, or otherwise interfering with learning, they have an obligation to tell you. You must know. It’s your job to know.
Embrace it. Encourage it.
Just don’t call it tattling.
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What is your suggestion for students who are tattling on things that don’t directly concern them. I have many students (second graders especially) who will come to tell me about something they saw, like “Johnny just called Jane an idiot!”…but they are not Johnny or Jane…the situation doesn’t really have anything to do with them. I can actually think of one student in particular who can easily spend an entire art period tattling to me about what everyone else in the room is doing…
Hi Beth,
If you’re getting a lot of tattling, regardless of where or who it comes from, I suggest following the five steps above. Using your example, I would definitely step in, pull Johnny aside, and address the problem. That the information comes from someone outside the incident doesn’t make any difference. In fact, good for the student who was looking out for his/her friend Jane!
Michael
I don’t know how to tell whether the student is telling the truth about what happened, because I have caught so many students in lies, or even lying about behavior I personally watched them do. So how do I know it’s for real and I’m not unjustly punishing the offender?
Hi Carolyn,
How to get to the truth quickly will be the topic of a future article. Perhaps next week or the week after.
Michael
Thank you for your blog. I appreciate and benefit from many of your philosophies and suggestions.
I agree with you in many respects on this topic, except that I struggle with allowing students to become reporters of other students behaviour without attempting to take responsible action themselves. Students must learn to be responsible for their actions, forgiving of others, and able to determine when they need help. I want my students to be able to be confident and stand up for themselves, by knowing what they need to become involved in, and how to use appropriate social problem solving skills to solve the problem themselves. I work with the children to determine when to become involved, how to assert themselves appropriately, how best to proceed, and also when to seek help immediately. They need to be able to solve problems, whether they be social, academic or life skills based and I teach them to that end. These are skills they will need their whole life. Having said that, I realize they are little people, and I am still their caregiver and teacher. I do not ever want them to engage in something unsafe (physical or emotional), destructive or inappropriate, and support them in any case.
I also struggle with students who seem to target other children and report on them (sometimes unfairly), or children who report on others’ behaviour, sometimes to deflect their own behaviour or issues with self esteem.
It’s an involved topic, and again, I appreciate your thoughts.
As a school counselor the best advice I can give to teachers is to listen! Listen to what your students are saying about the behaviors of others. Often times we tell students who tell…just go play with someone else…mind your own business…what did you do? When in fact we can say…thank you for sharing that with me…how can I help you? When we tell children we want them safe, when we ask them to trust us to help them be safe, and we listen and support them learn these skills. Another words we are modeling for our students appropriate behavior, listen skills, compassion and empathy…all the behaviors that help to support the whole child to becoming a better human being. The tatling goes away because the child learns that what they have to say to you is important, they are important, and the conversation changes to be about themselves and not others. Try listening…it works!
I disagree. Tattling is done for more that the reasons mentioned. We have some girls in our school creating tattles so that people get in trouble falsely. They make up infractions, tell the teacher, get the unassuming child written up, and snicker all the while. The girls now possess control and operate the teacher like a puppet. Look out, if these girls don’t like you, they’ll stop at nothing to falsely accuse a classmate. Our teacher does not investigate any tattles, but punishes severely and punitively. The child tattled on is a victim of this insidious abuse by unethical school children.
Hi Lynn,
The behavior you describe is a different situation altogether. And a topic for another day. I don’t in any way condone or agree with the way the teacher you describe handles tattling. I’m sorry it’s happening and hope you help get it corrected. The confines of a blog article make it difficult to cover every “what if” scenario. A teacher should absolutely investigate tattling to make sure no one is falsely accused.
Michael
Your article is spot-on! Teachers who have the largest problem with students tattling are the ones who lack good classroom management skills. Students depend on their teachers to monitor student behavior closely and follow through with the behavior management plan consistently. When teachers fail to do this, some students feel the need to step in and “help” the teacher do her job. Teachers must “say what they mean AND more importantly MEAN WHAT THEY SAY! Children are smarter than which they are given credit! = )
Oh, ugh …
I trust you, Michael, but …
Ugh. 😉
Hi Tracy,
The irony is that the more you embrace tattling, the less your students will tattle. I should have made that clear in the article.
:)Michael
I agree with this philosophy and find it works. However, what do I do with children who use tattling-like behavior to attempt to get another student in trouble when other student did absolutely nothing against the classroom rules? I have a student who comes to me with the silliest complaints about other kids–nothing done to her, just things she doesn’t like. No rules are broken by anyone. I don’t know whether to simply explain to her that there is nothing wrong or against the rules about what she is complaining of or if she should be receiving a consequence for seemingly trying to get another kid in trouble.
Hi Emily,
It’s a good question. I’ll put it on the list of future articles.
Michael
This completely overlooks the very REAL possibility that the “tattle teller” is looking for attention, favoritism, or wanting to get the other student in trouble when there was no wrong doing. If a teacher encourages this behavior, what happens when a student is singled out and it becomes the norm in the classroom for students to tattle on everything that student does because the teacher encourages tattle telling? If that student uses a different colored crayon than everyone else, it could be perceived as breaking the rules and that child is reported to the teacher by another student. It could potentially create a very stressful environment for the child who is the target of constant tattling, especially if perceived by other students as the odd student. If you are going to address tattle telling, make it clear that you are sharing a one sided perspective and saving PART II for a future article because this certainly cannot be applied to every situation. Also “the more you embrace tattling, the more your students will tattle,” sounds more accurate to me. In vying for approval or attention from the teacher, you have just provided them with a motive and a means.
Teach your kids the difference between tattling and telling. Tattling is to get someone in trouble, telling is get someone help. If “Johnny is picking is nose.” Joe needs to tell Johnng “get a tissue.” If Johnny is hitting Jackson, and Jackson is getting hurt, than it is okay to tell.
Tattling is sinful, which gets kids and adults in a lot of trouble.