Do you hide the truth from difficult students?
Do you give them false praise?
In the name of encouragement, most teachers do.
But if you want lasting improvement in their behavior, then you have to be brutally honest with them.
Difficult students don’t benefit from being coddled or having smoke blown in their ears.
Yet, few teachers actually tell it like it is.
Example:
David has been a behavior problem all year for Ms. Smith, but today he’s better. He hasn’t bothered his tablemates as much, he’s been relatively quiet, and he hasn’t been sent to time-out.
Just before lunch Ms. Smith pulls David aside, drapes her arm over his shoulders, and says, “Hey David, great job today! Way to go, buddy! Keep up the good work!”
Huh? Say what?
Was David really doing a great job? Do you think Ms. Smith would describe David’s behavior to a colleague as being “good work?” Of course not—not when measured by a standard of behavior that is required for success in school.
False Praise Is A Bad Classroom Management Strategy
Encouraging difficult students is important, but if the encouragement doesn’t jibe with the truth, then it won’t be effective. It can’t be effective because there is no meaning in puffery—and deep down students know it.
Further, praise that isn’t based on the truth…
Lowers the bar.
It tells students that mediocre is not only good enough, but it’s celebrated. When the standard for earning praise is down around their kneecaps, what motivation do students have to go any higher?
Says they’re not good enough.
Receiving empty, dishonest praise communicates to difficult students that they’re incapable of behaving in a manner equal to their well-behaved peers.
Encourages them to manipulate.
If they can get a pat on the back from you for minimal effort, they’ll work that knowledge to get attention whenever they need it—making them feel special, haughty even, in front of their classmates, encouraging even more devilish behavior.
Doesn’t improve behavior.
False praise contributes nothing to real, sustained improvement. It merely nudges students to make a temporary bounce from where they are… to slightly, tantalizingly, better. When the buzz from meaningless praise wears off, they’re back where they started.
But What If That’s The Best They Can Do?
If the thought ever enters your mind that some of your students aren’t capable of becoming well behaved, push it aside.
Because it isn’t true.
All students have the capacity to change, to overcome, to reinvent themselves. It’s never just “the best they can do.”
A teacher’s limiting beliefs not only deeply affect students, but they also affect what the teacher is capable of.
Be A Straight Shooter
A wonderful gift you can give your students is an honest assessment of where they are—behaviorally and academically—followed by a clear vision of how they can climb their way up.
Telling difficult students they’re doing well when in reality they’re not, lightens their load and eases the burden of disrupting your classroom, breaking your rules, and interfering with learning, making it a virtual guarantee that such behavior will continue.
Being straight with them ensures that there is no confusion: poor behavior is not welcome in your classroom. The days of being pleaded with to behave and praised for minimal effort are over.
This commitment to being honest with students has a powerful and influential side effect: it adds meaning to praise and encouragement.
Truth Provides Meaning
If you’re always honest with difficult students, they’ll learn quickly that when you praise them, they can take it to the bank.
If David really did have a good morning, and Ms. Smith is in the habit of giving only worthy praise, a simple and sincere “Hey David… good work this morning” will have him walking on clouds.
Praise based on truth will mean something to your students. Deep inside. Where real change takes place.
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Great article. I think your articles are equally applicable to smart parenting.
Brian
Dear Mr.Linsin recently I read your article about giving warnings in the classroom. I was just wondering after the first warning is given then the action consequence comes regardless of any rule being broken, even if it is a different rule from why the warning was given, right?
Also, you should only give one warning in class a day right?
Are there any times when a student should be given a second warning?
Hi Mr. Chacon,
Yes, you are correct regarding your first two questions. The action consequence comes regardless of what rule is broken, and only one warning should be given per school day. The answer to your final question is no, a student shouldn’t be given a second warning.
Michael
Using time out in a high school setting is difficult since it would be welcomed by quite a few students. What would you suggest as a second consequence?
Hi Lana,
I do recommend a pseudo time-out for high school students. Only, you wouldn’t call it time-out. To be most effective, you need a way of handling disruptive behavior yourself without sending students out of the room. If they can’t adhere to your rules, then they must be separated in some way–even symbolically—from their classmates. Of course, this underscores the importance of creating a learning environment that students want to be a part of, one in which they don’t welcome time-out.
Michael
Hi Michael. I really like your ideas re classroom behaviour. I do wonder though how relevant this is to kids who are diagnosed as being IM or OI. I have a year 3/4 class in Auatralia. It’s not always feasible to have these kids in special placement so I need a few pointers on how to implement your ideas in a mainstream classroom to address these kids behaviour.
Hi Wendy,
I plan on tackling mainstreaming in future articles.
Michael
Michael,
I am interested in repairing a child’s pride. Recently, myself and another coach chose to elect a leader, and chose the most talented (and arrogant), of the group.
But I believe we made a mistake – he has not stepped up to the plate. A few days ago, we reprimanded him for goofing off. One of the coaches was a bit too harsh, and the boy has not been the same since.
If help means redirecting me to an article you have already written, that would be fabulous. As of right now, I think I’m going to try your note idea.
Meghan
Hi Meghan,
Please email me with a few more details including how old the player/student is and in what way was the coach too harsh. I’m happy to help!
Michael
You say that a high school class needs a pseudo time out which isn’t a time out, but don’t go any further. I’m not sure what this means when the class is overcrowded (35 students with 30 seats), many children have severe emotional issues (especially anger issues), most of their significant others are waiting in the hall for them to try and “go to the bathroom,” and so on. Aside from sending them to the principal, what other options do I have?
Hi Sarah,
I need to amend that comment. While it’s true that under some circumstances, time-out can be effective for high school students, the plan I now recommend for teachers doesn’t include it. There are just too many variables. I plan on writing an ebook on this topic in the near future. It’s too big to include in an article or a comment section.
Michael
This literally contradicts Applied Behavior Analysis to increase positive behaviors and decrease undesirable behaviors. As all behavior is communication. There is a function for the behavior: attention, escape, and/or tangible. ABA is a scientifically effective strategy.