Surprisingly, it’s becoming more common, not less.
You’d think that refraining from threatening consequences—rather than following through on them—would be classroom management 101.
But since the pandemic, and the precipitous drop in standards, the old “Stop what you’re doing or else” has made a roaring comeback.
The reason is twofold.
First, it meshes with the current sentiment that students need more chances, more understanding of their wants and needs, and fewer set-in-stone rules and guidelines.
Second, it’s generational. Although I meet a lot of awesome young teachers with backbone and strong leadership skills, too many are as soft as boba. Philosophically, the whole idea of setting clear limits is anathema to them.
But human nature has its own ideas.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter what you think or believe, the failure to follow through with a predetermined consequence the moment you witness misbehavior will always and eventually result in more misbehavior.
Here’s why:
Threats tell students you’re afraid.
The first time you threaten action, rather than acting, you communicate loud and clear to your students that you’re afraid to follow through.
Thus, you can be ignored, manipulated, and not taken seriously.
Everyone in the class will know it and behave differently because of it. You may think that the problem is them and that they’re rude and immature—and they are—but you’re the cause.
Threats tell students you don’t mean what you say.
If you can’t be trusted in this one area, that so publicly exposes the kind of leader you are, then you can’t be trusted in anything else either.
Your lessons. Your stories. The advice you provide. The directions you give. All of it can and will be called into question. All of it will carry a seed of doubt in the mind of every student.
The weight and resonance of your words, your very presence, your aura and gravitas, will disappear like a spirit in the night.
Threats open you to challenge and aggression.
Inevitably, when the chaos and disrespect get too much you will realize the supreme error of making threats and try, perhaps tentatively, to actually hold students accountable.
But it won’t go well.
You’ll get refusal to go to time-out or detention. You’ll get angry challenges of your leadership. You’ll get downright aggressive push-back.
Threats lead to silliness and immaturity.
Without real consequence, threats will eventually be met with laughter. Your students will see you as insignificant, no more a leader than a hanger-on friend.
They may not even hear your threats over their loud jokes, horrendous cursing, and wriggling immaturity. To save face, you may even laugh along too.
Sad, but all too common.
Threats turn you into someone you won’t recognize.
Teachers who threaten believe that students will appreciate second chances. They don’t. Deep down students want firm limits. Because it shows you care. It shows they have worth.
In the face of daily chaos, teachers eventually become who they despise. It may take a few years, but they’ll inevitably become angry, sarcastic, bitter, and antagonistic toward their students.
They’ll raise their voice. They’ll stomp and lecture. They’ll growl and glare. They’ll wake up one day and wonder where their dreams went.
A Warning Instead
Threats by their nature mean nothing. Forgotten sound lost in the wind. They have no teeth, no bite, no meaning of any kind.
A warning, on the other hand, given in the exact manner modeled and promised to students, and in response to a first infraction of classroom rules, matters.
Although in effect a courtesy, it has power because it’s backed by a consequence students don’t like and that forces a form of accountability they must wrestle with—an internal confrontation with themselves.
Now, it’s important to point out that there are strategies and principles that must be implemented in order to make a simple warning effective in curbing misbehavior.
Therefore, I encourage you to click the links in the article, visit the archive, run a search of the site, or purchase one of our books.
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Hi I carry out sanctions to offenders + they keep on offending over and over again – missing most of their lessons – then it’s my fault they don’t know anything……parents start writing snotty emails, the kids flunk their tests – + I look like a failure- your advice is logical- but over simplifies the situation.
Agreed! Ditto here
Katherine,
It is not your fault and you are not a failure.
These repeat offenders do create more paper work, as you need to note down the offences, dates and times. This list of facts needs to be forwarded to parent/guardians and admin ( I also attach the syllabus, where everything is all spelled out, to every email). If the parents are snotty and spineless, it really sucks.
The snotty parents, yes, yes, yes! I know that COVID stretched parents (I am a parent too, my husband owns a business… COVID was bonkers) and parents couldn’t/didn’t parent well. Somehow we need to reset Parenting. Somehow the message needs to get out. Covid was hard, we all messed up, we all dropped many balls, but it is not too late to try. Parents around the world need to reset, have a tough conversation with their kids about how things are now going to change, and stick to it. Teachers can not be the only ones being firm.
I don’t know how to do this. Get it in News feeds and a movement on social media. Parenting classes in the evenings at school or online? Create a #ParentingReset movement on a specific date???
Warning or one “reminder.” After that, as a sub I will just start removing kids from their captive audience. Most of the other kids appreciate that because they don’t want to put up with the behavior either!
What’s funny is that I relate to every one of these examples. Im in my 14th year teaching, and I remember ALL of those feelings. It was hard, and I did all of those things.
I think what really changed my classroom management was really getting to know my students and developing honest caring relationships with them. Doing this in the first month of school has really made for more productive school year.
Hello Erika, I am interested to learn how do you go about “really getting to know my students and developing honest caring relationships with them.”
All good ideas here.
Thank you Michael once again for your guidance and common sense advice! I have been part of the Linsin crowd since I began teaching many years ago and I can testify that the teaching/behavior philosophies I learned here are valid. Trust is built through consistent application of the rules, quietly, without fanfare and certainly without stopping my class. Example, in my high school classes, students must put all ‘gear’, backpacks, purses, gym bags, in the back of the room when they enter. If they don’t like it (and most don’t) they are instructed during the day-one syllabus review that they should not bring these items to class. This eliminates the ‘zip up’ near the end of class- it is my decision when class ends, not the student zipping up their bag. It also eliminates the lure of the ‘hidden phone’ engagement. Finally it is a safety hazard- I don’t like having to dodge bags in the aisle. About the phones, the bane of the HS teacher these days. They are to be out of sight and in the back with their gear; not on their lap, under their laptop, or on the desk. IF someone breaks a rule, they lose all participation points for the week. I don’t stop to discuss it, I don’t point it out, I just note the name, date, and period and give out a zero at the end of the week. Easy peasy. After the first or second week they get the message that the consequences for breaking the rule are non-negotiable, and the class doesn’t ‘stop’ for discussion about breaking the rule. The students learn quickly that it is their choice, I don’t police them, I just follow the rules. Also, I believe in ‘natural consequences’; if you are not engaged in the class you will miss information, directions, etc. Not my problem. Students who habitually have to ask their peers for notes, etc, soon find themselves on the outs with the other students. Again, not my problem. Finally, the students who are engaged, who follow class rules, are appreciative of my classroom environment. They say it is calm and relaxing. The agreement to follow the rules sets the tone of the day, I just have to follow through on the agreement. In other works, teaching may be more difficult in many ways, but kids are still kids and they want the limits, they want the calm, positive learning environment, and they want ‘fair’. As educators, our jobs may have to expand a bit to encompass the challenges today, but keeping high expectations will keep the classroom a pleasant productive place, where for at least 40 minutes, the students know that they do better when they meet classroom expectations.
What to do when ‘attempting to follow the rules’ and admin. or other teachers discard, undermine and blatantly accuse you of not letting students have any fun.
Keep the faith! Students interpret consistent rules as ‘being fair’. By holding them to high expectations, it shows that you respect them, that you expect their best and that you know they can meet those expectations. You can’t control what other teachers do, so try not to be concerned. By consistently following your classroom plan, following the rules, the students will know what to do, how to succeed, and also, they will see you as a ‘fair’ teacher. They will test you, but staying positive, relaxed, and consistent will win them over much more effectively than providing a ‘fun’ but non-productive environment.
What are some ideas to replace the need to send students out to another class, or back to their own for a “reset” after not following directions? I teach general music to K-6 and the first graders get into fun having ignore the teacher mode which my most immediate concern is safety as I’ve seen more than a few head on head collisions. Just today I sent a student out to reset as is our tiny school’s management plan after a warning, and upon returning after the 5 minute time out the student again doesn’t follow directions. Then flat out refuses to leave after asked. Obviously they want to stay because they will miss out on the fun, but when we get into the refusal to leave mode I feel like influence over the class is a lot harder because the others see that they don’t have to do what I say. Should I go back to using my “think chair” which is in my classroom, and what do I do if they refuse to do that? These kids act as if they don’t have ears. Their classroom teacher has a very difficult time managing them, and I feel bad for her because she is sweet but cannot hold boundaries.
I hear you, really, from 30+ years teaching grades Preschool to HS, 6 different districts from rural, suburban, to urban core (KCM). It’s not getting easier.
Please give SCM your best efforts – it helps!! I must kindly and firmly follow my SCM -posted on my wall – each and every time and inform parents by phone or email of student wrong choices. My plan is a warning/review of my expectations or immediately saying, “You are not in trouble, but need to get calm and ready to learn” and have them go to my classroom Safe Space. I usually move to a fun activity to motivate them to get ready. I watch til they look ready then invite them to rejoin – older (grade 3,4,5) kids complete a review sheet of my expectations for repeat offenders – this I keep on file showing I follow district guidelines to reteach expectations. If they ask to join, I remind them it’s my job to invite them when they show me they are calm and ready to learn. Rarely, if they are still disruptive, I send them to my buddy room next door. After this step it is administrative removal. However, I call parents often to report “great students” and if I call to inform of poor behavior – I will call again to review their choices and OFTEN report improvement. Parents often know I am rooting for them and their child. (some exceptions of course, but few).