How To Handle The Extreme Behavior Of The Past Year

Here at SCM, we’re used to hearing horror stories from teachers.

But the sheer number of emails we’ve received this past school year is like nothing we’ve ever seen. Students were different. There is no doubt about it.

How? Just more of everything:

Aggression

Anger

Immaturity

Disrespect

Defiance

Silliness

Any and every area of misbehavior it seems has gotten worse since the return to full in-person learning. And teachers are way stressed-out over it. Many are leaving the profession or wondering how they’ll survive another year.

The bad news is that I don’t see it getting better for some time. The good news is that you can still have the calm, peaceful class you want.

How?

You have to be great in two particular areas. You see, most teachers weren’t prepared for the extreme and frequent behaviors they were seeing. So they reacted instinctively by trying to talk students into behaving.

They tried to convince, counsel, lecture, admonish, reason with, appease, berate, sweet talk, intimidate, reward, and rebuke. At the same time, they lowered their expectations—often at the behest of administration.

They gave more chances, allowed more exemptions, and accepted less than what they knew was best for students. They tolerated chaos and disorder and an environment that was anything but conducive to learning.

But those same students who’ve been through so much and fallen so far behind can be shaped and healed and caught up by a disciplined teacher focused on just two things.

Not just good at these things most of the time, mind you, but great at them all of the time.

They’re not complex. They represent two of the most common principles we’ve been touting here at SCM for more than a decade. They just mean more now than ever.

What are they?

Boundaries

Your boundaries of behavior, defined by a comprehensive classroom management plan, that protect learning and enjoyment of your classroom must remain fixed.

Immovable. Non-negotiable. Absolute. Like an iron stake driven into frozen ground. You must never, ever retreat. Never, ever surrender. Like a soldier on a winter’s night with a vow to defend.

If you say it – “These are the rules and consequences” – then you must abide by it. No matter the response. No matter your fear or concern over outside pressures. You are the lonely knight at the gate, abandoned perhaps but unbowed.

Consistent Kindness

Consistent doesn’t mean most of the time. It means all of the time. Kindness, in the sense of effective classroom management, doesn’t mean individual kindness (though it can on occasion).

It means pleasantness, calmness, and easy confidence that exudes from your every pore and stays with you when the going is good and when a student misbehaves.

It never leaves you. It’s given to the whole class all at the same time and continues until you leave for the day. It’s charity with zero expectation of return.

This doesn’t mean you have to perpetually smile and give compliments. You don’t have to say anything, in fact. It’s an attitude of strength. You’re a rock-solid high-road warrior who stays above the fray and leads by character and deed.

No Matter Where Or Who

Among the swirling chaos in and throughout the most difficult schools and challenging classrooms, there is serenity.

There are shoulders that drop with a relaxed sigh upon crossing the threshold and into a place that makes sense in a world gone mad.

You can do this.

Yes, I recommend the full SCM approach for best results. But in this day and age, unbending boundaries and consistent kindness are far and away most important. Critical, in fact, if you want to learning to take place.

If you want to love your job, still, no matter where you work or who is on your roster. If you want to make your way home every day calm and grateful and knowing that you have a secret.

That makes it all work.

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39 thoughts on “How To Handle The Extreme Behavior Of The Past Year”

  1. If a teacher is determined to have set boundaries (which I agree are necessary), sticking with this is perplexing and sometimes next to impossible if team members have a different set of values, and even more perplexing, if the administration does not support you. It is so difficult when the others encourage a “go along to get along” attitude to get by, and (words said by team members), “let’s just do what we need to, to move them on to high school.”
    And, it is so discouraging when the younger teachers coming in are heard at a town hall meeting, where discipline is being discussed “the older teachers are just too rigid…our students need more freedom to be able to express themselves.” This was said by a teacher whose students wander around, sit on her desk, as she sits at her desk and socializes with them.
    Is it any wonder teachers are leaving the field?

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  2. Dear Michael,

    I appreciate very much your wisdom and sharing of strategies for a calm and highly functioning classroom where maximum learning is occurring.

    But I find your steadfastness in ‘just stick to your plan 100% of the time’ is very black and white in nature. My super power (one of them) is being a shades of gray thinker where there are nuances in human interaction and situations often needing variances/accommodations in the day to day based on individual circumstances. That is one way I create equity in my classroom. Do you have any suggestions for more diverse thinkers and doers?

    Thanks,
    Denise

    Reply
    • Denise,
      Being able to adapt the “plan” on an individual basis does not mean the “plan” has changed. There are instances where some students are granted exceptions and accommodations which are enumerated in a legally binding document. However, trying to create exceptions and accommodations for an entire class of 35-40 students is impossible. “Equity” is created by administering consequences and rewards to all students; even the diverse thinkers and doers. The diverse thinkers and doers can continue their diversity of thought, but the “doing” part is not open for interpretation. This nation was founded on the idea all men (and women) are created equal. This does not mean all are treated equal. Those who choose not to meet expectations should be reminded of the expectation and what will occur should they choose to continue to choose not to meet expectations.

      Reply
    • I happen to agree. A lot of unexpected difficulties this year. As a specialist teaching and visiting all k-5 classes in a given school each week , plus covering for teachers absent all year, covering for all kinds of meetings, left us all exhausted this school year. Been doing this for many years and it has never been a perfect scenario by far. But this year presented behaviors and challenges I found difficult to endure. Difficult to manage for sure even if I employed every strategy under the sun! Hoping for more stability next school year and plan to review procedures over and over. Teachers have much more on their plates now with social skills teaching in the forefront. I’m not giving up yet. Too much iPad and technology use at these young ages I feel is not helping either.

      Reply
    • I think the key is that WE create our own rules and consequences, and so we can intentionally make them such that they encourage diverse thinkers and doers, while still providing consistency in what behaviors are allowed / not allowed in the classroom.

      So if you notice that a student is behaving in a way that technically breaks one of your rules, but you actually want that behavior to be allowed in the classroom, then that’s an opportunity to reflect on the rules and re-write/re-teach them.

      Or if it’s more about being flexible with consequences, I think as long as you let them know in advance how you are going to be flexible and are consistent with that, then it’s all part of the plan and good.

      Here’s an article that I think sums this up really well (especially the middle section): https://smartclassroommanagement.com/2019/04/27/class-rules-gray-area/

      Reply
    • I disagree with you on this topic. I work in elementary . When you discipline from a gray area, students become confused and unsure and will test the limits. While I do understand your position and it can be hard to enforce the rules for the child who is almost never a rule breaker, learning to be held accountable for your behavior is an important lesson in respect for yourself and others. Gray area instances should be very rare, if ever. When students know and understand this, they begin to learn what it means to be responsible, even when know one is watching.

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  3. Rock solid advice that is reassuring in this day and age of student-centered learning. I’ll never forget a particular day near the beginning of last school year when a student told me I was strict. They tested me, as 7th graders will do, to see if I could hold up with my behavior plan. If I hadn’t read enough of your articles and gotten very clear on what I expected, I wouldn’t have made it through the year. It wasn’t perfect by any means in my class, but as the year progressed, they saw what you mentioned today, boundaries and kindness. They will test us, we just have to know how to score well. Thanks for being the consistent voice of reason!

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    • I agree with you 100% on the overuse of technology at the elementary level. Technology should be only used as a supplement to good teaching in the classroom. I find that more and more technology is expected to become the the “teacher” and the teacher is the supplement. Very frustrating.

      Reply
  4. Wow. I tripled my salary and actually got more days off by quitting teaching and going to work for the LMS company. I’m sure going to miss the fulfillment from teaching, but I’m not going to miss getting stabbed by pencils, spat on, micromanaged by administration, dealing with the administration sweeping that “unloaded” glock under the rug, late nights, student funerals, false student allegations, being forced to teach CRT, and picking up condoms off the playground on the way into school.

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    • Are you for real? While I can maybe believe some of this you lost me at CRT. That’s a college level course. You must be talking about actual American history which is pretty watered down in the textbooks

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    • Wow, I don’t know what to say to so many atrocities that you could not control. I don’t blame you for leaving the classroom and might envy your higher salary. Did you ever consider another school district? It’s not always the answer, but we’re losing teachers at record numbers.

      Reply
  5. I love this simple but vital article. I have a question for you and any others who want to give me import. Do you have a policy on phones in the classroom. I teach at a high school level and let’s just admit it that students are addicted to their phones. How have you or others approach the phone issue in the classroom?

    Reply
    • Mr. Linsin has an article from maybe a couple years ago on smartphone policy. If I remember right, it’s basically have them hidden from sight. If they are seen they are put in a safe place designated by the teacher but away from the student. This way as a teacher you’re not debating whether or not the phone was being used appropriately, or used at all. The boundary is being visible or not visible. I’ve used this policy with great success in my 7/8 classrooms, even though the rest of my school has varying policies and nothing standard for all classrooms. Here’s a link to Michael’s previous articles on cell phones: https://smartclassroommanagement.com/?s=cell+phones

      Reply
      • We had a school-wide policy that phones were to either be out of sight (in the book bag) or in the “phone pocket” teachers were given to solve the phone issue.

        Last year within a week, 2 phones were stolen from the phone pockets in two different classrooms.

        One parent was demanding that the teacher buy her daughter a new phone because it was stolen in her classroom. Happily the administration backed her up and said she was not responsible for the theft.

        It is a shame that students, and teachers, who follow the rules have things like this happen to them and those with sticky fingers are rarely caught.

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    • I teach at a middle school where the policy is “no phones in sight”. But I believe that regardless of the school-wide policy you can establish your classroom as a no-phone zone by consistently following through. ** NO HEADPHONES OR AIRPODS IN SIGHT EITHER!! Just be sure that your plan will be supported by admin and they will support you if you do take phones. I notice that phones tend to come out when the lesson plan is less focused or when a task involves higher-level thinking and some students quickly dash off a basic answer and feel like they’ve completed the task. Re-direction and feedback at that point helps.

      Reply
    • Re: PHONES. Not sure where I read about this strategy but I used it last year in my high school class with great success. If I see a phone or earbuds, I bring a paper lunch bag to the student, they put their phone/earbuds inside, I staple it closed and give it to them to put into their backpack. I don’t touch their phone, they maintain control of it. It’s just very noticeable if they take it out again, at which point, I would send them to the office for noncompliance (only happened once with a student who was absent the day I introduced the policy).

      Reply
  6. This past year was rough….no yielding right from the start! Demanding parents I have had before but rude, non caring and defiant 5 year olds were just new territory! I tried everything but to no avail….it didn’t help that 2 students had special needs and the parents were ignoring it! But thank you for raising this issue…..it needs to be talked about and procedures put into place! Nice to know I’m not the only one. Staying the course!!!!

    Reply
  7. As a sub I’ve seen it all, It’s a really tough job. What have I changed? I no longer work full days, I work half days about twice a week. With a reduced schedule it keeps me doing what I truly enjoy and keeps my stress level in check.

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  8. That sounds great but a simple article will not make it happen. Those are learned skills that come from a teacher being mentored and coached.vit involves training and the ability to show it has a strong record of success in the classroom. I believe it does and I know it takes years to get to that level of expertise but believing and research are two different things. I think young teachers have to see the evidence.

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  9. Inspiring imagery, and a simple yet profound message. I really appreciate that you share vital ideas, not just verbiage.

    Reply
  10. Could you write an article about SCM in special education? I find that it’s a great success in the mainstream classroom but struggle to translate it to small group and on to one teaching. I would like to see an article about how/if you adapt your behaviour management to students with special needs both one on one and in the mainstream classroom.

    Reply
  11. Consistent rules and consistent pleasant attitude. Sounds simple, but it works! IF given the backing of the school/district. So many teachers now are forbidden to use any type of negative consequences! We’ve completely gone off the rails and forgotten that schools are run by adults, not children. We’re now in a situation where the teachers are afraid of admin, admin is afraid of the parents, parents are afraid of their own kids, and the kids aren’t afraid of anybody! This past year was horrific. I’ve followed Michael’s plan for years, but there was a sea change in student behavior this year that frankly stunned me. I’m leaving public education and have accepted a job in a private, Christian school. It’s a 40% pay cut, but I believe it will be at least an 80% stress cut as well.

    Reply
    • I’ve taught in a private Christian school for the past 8 years and have loved every moment. I don’t plan to ever return to public schools. It’s a huge pay cut and, in our case, we don’t have retirement plans, but it’s night and day as far as behavior (and the way we deal with misbehavior) goes. It’s so worth what I gave up. I realize not all private Christian schools are the same and any “private” school brings with it its own unique challenges, but I hope you love your move and wish you the best. I agree with Michael and with Debbie: consistent rules and consistent pleasant attitude are crucial. Students see when some are treated differently than others and they don’t have the maturity to understand why that might be. Parents these days listen to their kids and oftentimes don’t give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. Maintaining consistency doesn’t leave room for comparison between their child and others. Having a pleasant attitude can open doors for you to work as a team with the parents and student to develop the skills the child is still lacking.

      Reply
  12. Debbie is right on the mark. Michael’s principles and practices work. However when you have the school leaders opposing, threatening and micromanaging you because a few students have trouble adapting to a strict teacher then the job becomes impossible. The main problem I see in education is weak and fearful leadership.

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  13. Oh no!!!! I’m telling you as someone who was in private “Christian” schools for ten years that this is a mistake. Yes, kids are easier but the parents are horrible!! Admin caters to parents bc they pay the money. Parents think their kids are always the innocent perfect angels and will make your life miserable if you disagree Stress is just different there.

    Reply
    • It depends on the school. I work in a private school and that is not at all true of my administration, and only true of a small handful of parents I’ve encountered. The vast majority are respectful and extremely supportive.

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  14. ‘If you want to make your way home every day calm and grateful and knowing that you have a secret.’
    I have that secret, thanks to SCM.

    Reply
  15. I am teaching both secondary and college level students and have to say there is a bit of chaos in college level as well, you still need to apply some class management rules, as some students think it is still high school. The pandemic of course made things worse. Students want to pass courses without attending them and with less effort for the homework. Entitlement in students leave teachers in shock. There were always issues in education but I am one of those people ready to leave the profession or have a break.

    Reply
  16. Hi there – this year at my school, we are all struggling to teach large primary classrooms (I’m a Specialist) which contain at least 5-6 students who require lots of attention – I’ve been doing this 29 years and I’m able to handle most situations readily. The issue is however, what do you do when you’re trying to contain 24 students with varying issues (Oppositional Defiance, ADHD, students on the Autism Spectrum, etc.), and then you have the ‘Runner’? At my age, I simply cannot run after this child while trying to control all the other students. Even when the child is brought back with an aide, this little person is loud and disturbs the class with wandering and pulling items out, but we’ve been told that ALL students must stay in the classroom. My bag of tricks is just about empty and I feel like all I’m accomplishing is putting out fires! Any suggestions/ideas? Btw, the classroom teachers look absolutely haggard…. 🙁

    Reply

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