They’re a subset of students at every school and in nearly every classroom.
The cool kids.
They with the fashion sense, the pulse of popular culture, the presence that effortlessly draws others into their sphere.
Okay, all fine and good.
But here’s the problem: Many teachers are also influenced by their charms.
Maybe you’ve noticed it too. Otherwise intelligent adults falling blindly under the spell of certain students. So much so that it interferes with their ability to be an effective teacher.
The rapt attentiveness. The mimicking body language. The fawning and trying to be cool too. The second and third (and fourth) chances.
Nothing is more hurtful to the rest of the class. Nothing makes students more resentful and less trusting than the teacher who obviously likes some students better than others.
It’s a morale killer of the highest order.
Besides realizing how unprofessional and inappropriate it is, there is a way to ensure that you don’t even appear to play favorites.
Here’s how:
Follow your plan.
Especially with your most influential students, it’s critical that you notice every act of misbehavior. The other students must see you enforce your consequences the moment they, the cool kids, step over the line.
They must see you follow your classroom management plan the same with every student. When a “cool” student breaks a rule, it’s a great opportunity to show your class that you can be trusted.
It’s proof that you don’t tilt the field in favor of some over others and underscores the sheer importance of vigilant supervision and steadfast adherence to your plan.
Don’t be impressed.
Refuse to play into the social media culture that says that some people are more special or worthy of our attention than others. It’s highly detrimental and the cause of so much pain, especially among young girls.
The classroom is the one place where you control the tone and narrative. Control it wisely. Ensure that all students have value, that all are aware they have strengths and weaknesses and that none is perfect.
Jordan’s are just shoes. A haircut is just one of many styles. Looking out for your neighbor is cool and humbleness is a virtue.
This isn’t so much something you do as it is an attitude and spirit of service to others that you bring to your classroom.
Focus on the whole class.
Your consistent day-after-day kindness and pleasantness is much more influential than trying to build relationships one student at a time. Focus on your class as a whole.
Prove you care about them all by saying hello to every student when they enter your class and goodbye to each with a fist bump. If you do have a conversation with an individual student, make it quick and maintain your professionalism.
Smile and be kind but never try to talk to them on their level. Never use slang they use with each other. Never comment on their clothes, kid them personally, or be overly impressed with popular students.
Dress and behave like the leader they need, and your whole class will love you for it.
Steady Presence
As covered in a recent article, only work on building rapport with individual students when they have shut down. Otherwise, it’s best to focus on how you present yourself to the entire group.
Be consistent in temperament and follow through and you’ll never have to worry about building individual relationships.
You won’t appear as if you play favorites and you won’t get sucked into trying to be or act cool yourself—which will always backfire.
Be the same steady presence and trust and respect will come readily. Your likability will soar among all and the cool kids will feel wonderfully knocked down a peg and free to be just regular, humble, and valued members of the class.
Like everyone else.
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Solid post! 💯
Thank you for this article
Humility is a virtue
Wow, Michael…I really needed to hear this one. As I read your article I thought back to a recent conversation with a student about his season 98 Jordan Jersey. I love MJ and it made me smile seeing that jersey, but unfortunately that wasn’t the end of it. I let the entire class know how cool the jersey was and there it was. I totally get what your saying and I’m going to be more mindful of what catches my eye in the future. I never want to make other students feel bad or less than because they don’t have what’s in. Thanks for your continued, solid perspective. Truly appreciate your blog.
Same here. After following SCM for awhile, my confidence in the classroom and rapport with students has never been better BUT I didn’t realize I was starting to use my new level of influence in unhealthy ways. I too am reexamining my own behavior and will correct it to be even more professional, just like the students need from me. Thanks Michael!!!!
Well said! Your words just put to voice what I was thinking.
Excellent post! Especially liked your comment on treating the entire class a whole and maintaining professionalism throughout.
This is an important message for us to remember to be the solid, kind adult at all times for everyone. But I wondered what you meant to “never kid them personally”. I’m pretty sure I do that. Can you elaborate? Am I playing favourites?
Great examples of equity and egalitarianism Michael.
Michael, several years ago I ran across one of your blogs in which you made a similar statement. At that point I was an experienced teacher who was not particularly struggling with classroom management but, as you know, no class or teacher is perfect. I read a statement you made urging teachers to ask themselves if they hold all students accountable in their classroom plan in exactly the same way. And if I lived in a cartoon that proverbial lightbulb would have been shining over my head. Because it was like you were standing in my classroom pointing your finger at certain students and asking me that question. For me, it was not the “cool” students but the “good” students – the ones who hardly ever broke a rule or crossed a line. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I always made excuses for those students on the rare occasions that they did break a rule. There and then I started reading on this site and purchased a book. And I cleaned up my act. Because no teacher, no matter how experienced, is done improving. Your suggestions and advice helped me to improve. Reading this helped remind me of how proud I was that I was still willing to work on becoming that “even better” teacher that I wanted to be. I retired two years ago but I will continue to read and learn because I have applied to go back in these times that are so difficult for students, educators and schools.
Love this response and that you are willing to come out of retirement to help out!
This is awesome.
Such a great reminder!
Great article. Thank you Michael!
Great teachings bro,I appreciate every email u send…keep sensitizing teachers for the betterment of the future
Thank you, Michael…your posts are spot on and very appreciated.👏
Even after being in the classroom for almost 40 years, I am NOT too old to learn new things in trying to teach my middle schoolers❣❤
I am retired now and still read your posts. I also have purchased your Classroom Management book several times for myself and for fellow teachers. You remind me of how hard it is to be a good leader and teacher, and yet how important it is. You present wonderful material for professional development discussions. Thank you for your shared wisdom, experience and practical advice. When I read your posts I can almost feel the sense of relief and trust a student in your classroom would feel with your teaching practice.